Just one last plug to vet your breeder thoroughly. I own a boarding kennel and I handle dozens of people's pet labs per week. I have many who are definitely field bred, and many who are definitely english (what David called bench bred).

Then there is another whole category which I suspect are the product of less than ideal breeders and likely a mishmosh of the two lines. And these are usually the ones with temperament all over the map. Many of these "other" category labs have the off the chart drive and energy but unpredictable temperaments. I feel pretty sure they are just a mixup of lines by a backyard breeder with no real purpose. I board one who is dog aggressive. She's just not quite right in the head. Sometimes she tries to bite me when I towel her off. If she is "loading up" at a gate or something, she's totally unpredictable.

Another one has to board every time the kids in his family have a birthday party because he can't be trusted with a bunch of other people's kids on the property. He barks aggressively and charges people and dogs although he's not actually dog aggressive and he can be good in groups of dogs once he gets past his poor greeting skills.

Go to a breeder that exhibits their dogs--- conformation shows, rally, obedience. My English lab's breeder does some hunt tests with her dogs too. You don't need a "show dog" for a pet, but you do need a breeder who is well respected by their local breed club and exhibits their dogs in lots of settings so they know what they really have. Breeders that have been established and exhibiting their dogs for a long time are more likely to produce a predictable temperament...."non quarrelsome with man nor beast"...

 

Finding a reputable breeder is important, as is agreeing on a breed.

After a long while finally agreed on a smaller more less active needing pup - King Charles when the kids were one and three. When she passed away I was addicted to the spaniel type dog. I also always liked doberman and never had one no one else wanted a Doberman. Kids still on the younger side but having more time for a larger active breed. We decided to go with the Gordon setter not to many breeders and no available pups, by then husband started talking about another Germans shepherd. Called some breeders and and after choosing Max’s breeder, while waiting for Max to be old enough to come home - my heart was still on those Gordon’s setters. It was my other half that wanted the gsd. I can tell you though, I changed my mind real quick. I kind of laugh at all of it now. Any German Shepherd you are going to need plan to put a lot of time into the pup the first two years-3 years keeping them mentally stimulated and physically stimulated. Max an asl was a land shark on steroids as a pup , a big boundary pusher, spade invader lol- but so so much fun not for the kids as a teething pup - as a lot of structure was put into place - that is not always fun for kids.

My wgsl female not so much mouthiness and she rarely pushed the boundaries easy pup. She slept the first night in her crate all through the night. I felt that made a nice combo these two dog personalities for myself.

Both shepherds are great with all family parties ,old and new friends coming into the house etc. sleep overs. It’s a plus when your dogs enjoys the chaos. Always taking the dogs out with us to beaches , people parks , hikes , public places for shopping , errand etc. all the while keeping us safe at night. It’s hard figuring out what you want and one can easily talk yourself out of what you do not want especially in a breed like the gsd , when your heart is stuck on another breed at the moment.

My friend has lab from a showline breeder that shows labradors for many many many years. They are big big dog show people. I have not met a lab I’d did not like from this breeder. The breeders daughter would walk into the Christmas barn party home with a few of her dogs and into a room with a massive amount of unknown people and the dogs would plop on the floor and just lie there off leash. As people stepped over them as it was right in the middle of the room.

My friend’s lab is a hostess at the barn to all who enter. She sits and watches very carefully as her owner rides and trains some unruly horses. She has a some focus and always impresses how she watches over her owner. She is in the middle of a jumping ring watching all of of it. Once her owner is off the horse the lab leaves all on her own to look for someone that may need company. My friend wanted a lab for a long long time and very happy she got the breed of her choice. The lab was exactly what she wanted and needed. The breeder was the same family friend whose many of her dogs have been visitors of the barn to meet and all have an incredible temperaments. I met most of the lab family over 15 years myself.

My friend and her husband also disagreed on what breed to get after their sheltie passed away. Their shelty had to be put away and or walked on a leash through the barn. The lab breeder would not allow her a pup until they both agreed on their breed of choice. I can say they are both happy now.

 

A lot of good comments here, but I thought I'd weigh in because I'm actually kind of living this situation right now with a GSD pup so I can share my experience to-date. Personally, I don't think there's a right or wrong answer here. What you want to do is make the right decision for the right reasons with the right set of expectations.

First, here's our situation: two young kids (almost 4 y/o and almost 2.5 y/o, both girls) and a wife who is anxious/scared around medium sized and bigger dogs. She didn't have a trauma of any kind, just not a dog person to begin and not a fan of dogs, particularly those with reputations. Anyway, the big difference in our situation is that we had a GSD before. It was my dog that was about 4 y/o when my wife and I met and so my wife got about 5 years of GSD life (and skipped the puppy phase), including 18 months with our older daughter when she was first born. I'd say our old GSD was the sweetest dog you'll ever meet, but as you can see from other comments, that's part of the breed when you have a well-bred, well-trained GSD. They're amazing and can be the platonic ideal of a family dog if you ask me. It also helped that our old dog was also "petite" as far as GSD females go so that helped from an intimidation standpoint that she just wasn't that big of a girl.

Fast forward, I'm pretty much Go GSD or Go Home so it wasn't up for debate when I was ready to get another dog. My wife is still anxious/scared around medium sized and bigger dogs, like I said, but she was supportive. In my mind, getting her to go through the puppy phase and have her (and the kids) bond with the puppy would be a big advantage as she got bigger. Well, apparently, I've completely blocked from my memory everything about the puppy phase from the last go-round. It's brutal. At least once each day I think about giving her back to the breeder (some days, that's all I think about). The teeth, the nipping, the chewing, the nonstop energy, etc. Having a GSD puppy is no joke and if you had them growing up or earlier in your life, you might very well be forgetting some of this or maybe you were shielded from some of it.

Bear in mind, I'm not trying to talk you out of it, but I'm the GSD fan in our household and even I get pushed passed the limit regularly. There's another post that does a nice job of talking about year one and the poster mentions in passing his thoughts maybe he should have gotten a golden retriever. I'd literally said that exact thing to my wife two days before I read that post (and another commenter on the post echoed that it exact thing).

So, how's it working out then with my wife, you might ask? Just fine. In part, because I'm on pup duty 100% of the time. The pup is on a leash in the house most of the time when not in the crate, which is as much because of the chewing and house training as needing to "handle" her around the rest of the family to make sure there's no nipping or biting or whatever around the more fragile household members. That said, as the nipping dies down (slowly, too slowly, but slowly) and the bite inhibition is taking root 🤞 and as we do more and more training (I'm spending an ungodly amount on training) and getting her to dog parks and doggie daycare to socialize and get corrected by other dogs appropriately, plus burning off puppy energy, we're making lots of progress. We've had her for about a month and half and she's about 4.5 months now. It helps to read other posts to remind myself of the light at the end of the tunnel as much for me as the rest of the family.

I don't know if any of this helps, but here's I guess the main takeaway that I want to leave you with. Based on your dynamic, if you get a GSD, you should go into it knowing that it's going to be on you - not your wife - to make it a successful experience for the family. She needs to be open-minded and involved and willing to go beyond her comfort zone, but you have to take as much responsibility to make it work for her and then also in general. And that's hard. It's hard. I wish I remembered how hard it was back when I was a just a single guy in my 20s, let alone now, so I could have been a little more prepared. Anyway, despite it all, I kind of love this puppy now and I still think it's 50/50 that one day I drive 90 minutes out to the breeder and just throw in the towel. What keeps me going is knowing that the bond I had with our last GSD defies any words that I can think to put in writing. And my wife loved her, too.

I'm sure you can get that with an English Lab. Maybe.

(edit) PS - I just re-read your original post and see that you lost your dog in May. I'm sorry to hear that. It took me 1.5 years before I was consider getting another dog and 2.5 years before we actually did. You might want to have a heart-to-heart with your wife about whether she's ready for another one, emotionally that is. Some of the hesitation could be that it's too soon for her and she's not ready to consider another type of dog because she's not ready to let go of your last one. I think another poster said something similar. Don't mean to psycho-analyze here, but worth surfacing that back up. Like I said, given how hard it will be already, wouldn't want to also add in unacknowledged emotional considerations on top of it.

(second edit) PPS - thinking more here... you said a few other things, in particular, you always had shepherds growing up, had one as an adult before meeting your wife and also that it was her dog and they bonded. I'm sure you loved that black lab, if you've said any of these things out loud to her, you might have set the stage for her to feel like getting a GSD would be "your dog". That might need to be acknowledged and talked through, plus emphasizing that you're not looking for "your dog" after 13 years of "her dog" but instead a "family dog" for all of you to bond with and love. Even if you're driving the decision on the breed and she's going along with it. Otherwise, there could definitely be thorny emotional consequences for you guys when the going gets tough. Again, not to be all psycho-analytical here, but I think people underestimate the emotional component of pet ownership. Anyhow, I'll shut up now!

 

Excellent points!

 

If you spend most of the time with the dog you should get what you want, if your wife is doing all the work you should get what she wants in my opinion. Labs are usually super nice and cuddly but often not very bright especially in comparison to German Shepherds. Our German Shepherd doesn't like to cuddle unfortunately on the other hand he doesn't go to every freaking person that comes along for cuddles and attention, I love that. We live in the city and we have to go to dog parks to let him loose. In the dog park or on the way there we see a lot of other dogs and when the dogs don't get along the German Shepherd is a lot to handle and if the other dogs owner fails to react you may have to handle 2 dogs going at each other. I've got nipped at and bitten quite a bit by our own and other dogs when they got mad at each other. Your wife and 6 year old would not be able to handle those situations. But if you live in a house with a big yard and you can get him running and exercise there you don't have the issues I'm dealing with. I grew up with a German Shepherd and it's the only breed I ever want.

 

Labs are incredibly intelligent in general. The very best bomb dog I've ever seen was a lab. He was also the easiest bomb dog to train I've ever seen. He was also the only single purpose (not bite trained) dog in Special Operations at one point because he was such an amazing dog.

Most service dogs are labs.

Here's a pic of Marshall, the most amazing bomb dog I've known. I could run him with a radio on his harness, a laser, hand signals at 150m away, and with pulses on a vibration collar (as in 1 for go out, 2 for right, 3 for left, 4 for back and long press for recall).

 

Go for the GSD... she'll come around. Had problem with a grandkid who was afraid of 8 week old puppy. Now she sits with him and laughs at his antics, and they're best of friends. You're starting out with a lot of love (from you), and your son is already half way there for a GSD.

 

Field Lab may be my next trailing dog. Much less to manage around other off leash dogs in Tahoe, less health issues than GSDs and my girl loves 'em.

 

Wonder what OP chose.

 

I've had several discussions with my wife on what we should do. She did open up that she is still totally devastated with the loss of our last dog and still cries over him often and that she's been back and forth on whether or not she's even ready for a dog regardless of breed. He died unexpectedly and she blames herself and wonders if she could have done more. However, she realizes at night when it's all quiet or if we go to sleep before her and she's alone she totally misses a buddy being around. She also admitted that she was concerned that if she didn't choose a Shepherd I would hold a grudge and constantly be mad. I explained she shouldn't worry about that and my focus was on the best choice for the family and I'd love any dog regardless, plus I feel like I'll eventually someday get a Shepherd so no huge deal.

I also asked her again if she would be scared of a Shepherd or would be worried about handling one, and she kind of changed her stance on that and said she'd never be scared of her own dog. Plus our lab was 80lbs and very difficult to handle, he wasn't an aggressive dog but was just excited about life and was always in a hurry to go nowhere.

The breeder that we have been in contact with is actually looking to let go of some of her adult dogs to the right homes, so that is something we are considering as well. We are actually going to visit again on Friday (in laws included) to talk and take two of her adults for a walk. The one is a younger male and gorgeous, but he's rather pricey. Another stipulation to getting that male is that since we are local, the breeder wouldn't want us to neuter him so that she can use him to stud. The other is a female that the breeder thinks would be a good fit for us. I don't know if any stipulations would come along with her. I know some people here thought this might be a good idea for us while some others didn't. It's just something we're exploring.

I even shared some of the information that @David Winners and @K9SHOUSE told me about the mentality of dogs during stressful combat situations with my wife to relay to her father and he was thankful for it.

Man, this has been some deep marriage counseling stuff on here....good thing we're mostly anonymous 🙂. Anyway, right now it looks like my wife is perfectly ok with getting a Shepherd and seems to think that my in laws will warm to it as well.

I know most comments seemed to indicate that getting a lab first, then a Shepherd was ideal, but I'm hoping that if we do go Shepherd first and still decided on another dog eventually he/she would be ok.

Nothing is concrete in plans yet, but I'm glad we've discussed it more and this thread turned out to be a lot more positive and informative than I expected. I'll let everyone know what's decided when we finally do make a decision/ do come to an agreement. I haven't even began to look into lab breeders in my area, so it might be a little while off.

 

Typically the Lab and the GSD are very different dogs with different purposes and probably suited for different people. However it appears that the decision is based on fear by the wife of GSD's. In my opinion unless the person is extremely impacted or traumatized by some past experience fear of any breed including the GSD is quickly overcome when the person meets the dog as a puppy.
I got my first Doberman as soon as I graduated from college and my parents were horrified when they found out. They even told me to not bring the dog with me wen I visited. Then they saw some pictures I sent them of the puppy (he was 8 weeks at the time) and their attitude changed immediately. This would not have been the case if I had gotten a full grown dog even if he was the sweetest dog in the world (which by the way he really was).

 

Just wanted to remind the OP that Marley the lab was a real dog. Okay, the owners had no clue how to train him, but still, he was very far from being a laid back dog!

If you do go with a lab, make sure the breeder is knowledgeable enough to pick the pup with the right temperament for you.

 

Well, apparently, I've completely blocked from my memory everything about the puppy phase from the last go-round. It's brutal. At least once each day I think about giving her back to the breeder (some days, that's all I think about). The teeth, the nipping, the chewing, the nonstop energy, etc. Having a GSD puppy is no joke and if you had them growing up or earlier in your life, you might very well be forgetting some of this or maybe you were shielded from some of it.

When I read this comment from earlier, it sounded like something I had typed myself. Our last GSD was a low demand sort of dog that passed 4 years ago. Right now,"Journey" is 13 weeks. No one in the family remembers things being like they are right now. At about 10 weeks, we regularly had family melt downs over the Journey being a bad decision. A night or two, I would retire to our bedroom to be alone and escape the stress. I think being 52 instead of 35 is making a difference for me.

Today, we are seeing things change for the better. But...as this other poster stated, it is BRUTAL sometimes. If you don't have the fortitude to keep moving forward, it can be too much. Go in prepared.

 

That's why they make them look cute

 

I'm really going to think about that ..... when I get my last GSD and I'm around 80 years old

 

Nora is 13 months old now, and I pretty much want to murder her on a daily basis. She’s gorgeous, and sweet, but holy moly she’s a lot of dog.

I haven’t had a puppy in 5 years (Scarlet), and I’m pretty sure that Nora is the last puppy I’ll have, lol. I’ll be 66 next month. If at some point we decide to breed Nora, I’m not taking a puppy (remind me of this if there is a black puppy). I would take an adult dog at least 3 years old though.

 

Nora is 13 months old now, and I pretty much want to murder her on a daily basis. She’s gorgeous, and sweet, but holy moly she’s a lot of dog.

I haven’t had a puppy in 5 years (Scarlet), and I’m pretty sure that Nora is the last puppy I’ll have, lol. I’ll be 66 next month. If at some point we decide to breed Nora, I’m not taking a puppy (remind me of this if there is a black puppy). I would take an adult dog at least 3 years old though.

The nerd refused a recall this morning to go play with the neighbor dog who was barking at him. 17 months. Good times

ETA: he jumped a 4' fence, in the neighbors yard, into their dog run, to play with the dog. Then jumped out, raced over to me all proud and went inside.

 

Puppies are wonderful and terrible. My son’s girlfriend frequently says “Nora is… A LOT”. Even Russell avoids her, lol. She does everything with such abandon. How that moose of a girl can move so fast and be so agile is a mystery.

Back to the OP, I went with my GSD breeder looking for a lab for her daughter-in-law who had always wanted one. We talked with show breeders, and visited a few. She ended up with a lovely lab. Not my breed of choice by any means, but they were happy with her. They had lots of kids, and she fit right in. The rest of the kids in my breeder’s family all have GSDs (and kids). Now they’ve added a border collie into the mix!

 

I figured I would give it some time before posting again. A GSD breeder that I had several conversations with as well as several visits had mentioned that she was willing to part with some of her adults to the right homes. She said she had one or two in particular that she thought would really suit our family. After another visit and some discussion with my wife we decided to go for it. We now have a 5 yr old male named Ando.
He was 100% an outside dog and for breeding so the house breaking took some work, but aside from that I'm happy to report that things have gone excellent! The interesting part is that his bonding transferred completely to my wife. Despite the fact that I initially did all of the walking and feeding, he just seemed to gravitate towards her. Now, the two of them are pretty incredible; he follows her around the house, lays at her feet and cries when she gets home from work. She can say his name or make a small whistle and he just appears. His recall with her is great. You would think we've spent thousands training the two of them together, she just became his owner somehow. I'm a tad jealous, but very happy with the outcome and pleased when Ando graces me with his presence. It's as if they were meant for one another.
As far as the rest of my family; he has won them all over, including my father in law. He is great around all of the kids and enjoys attention from everyone. Similar to me, they just wish they could get more attention from him. He is perhaps a bit "soft" and eager to please if that makes sense, but it works for us. We take him everywhere with us and he's such a breeze in public and just a joy to be around. I woke up last Saturday morning and my wife was reading on her computer and Ando was laying at her feet while my son was right next to him playing with his toys. She said "I guess he's my shepherd, thanks for getting me a dog.". I'd be curious to see why some of you feel that his bond transferred to my wife so strongly.
Here are some pictures of him. He really is a handsome guy.

 

He is beautiful! holy cow! super happy for you, it sounds like everything worked out as for the bonding, I swear dogs always gravitate towards hesitant people 🙄 my 11 year old niece doesn't like big dogs, or dogs in general, but when we go to my sisters Charlie wants to interact with her so bad, giving kisses, bringing her his toys, sitting and staring at her constantly (almost as tall as her AND he weighs more bahahah) paying attention to no one else, finally, after a few months, she'll kiss him back and throw his toys for him (also hug him when she thinks no one is watching), I can see a very strong bond beginning to form and I cant say im not a bit jealous, but still very proud lol

 

They always pick a person! Doesn't mean you aren't accepted or cool, just means you're not THE one.

They are what they are! Enjoy that beautiful boy!

 

Congrats on the new addition to the pack. Stunning dog. Maybe he's just a momma's boy

 

Sometimes (not always), males prefer females and females prefer males. My current male dog loves the ladies and is quite the ladies' man eye roll. My males have always been 'my' dog as opposed to my husband's or son's.

 

Lab!