[Aly]

No words, @Jchrest, I'm just sending you strong healing energy. Boundaries are a very good thing, in my book. Feed and water them regularly...

 

[cvamoca]

I don't know you, but I know what you are going through. It sucks being the responsible one in a family of people in the grips of their addiction.
We're now living the same with my husband's brother's wife--a closet drinker who just became uncloseted when she lost her job, and got a DUI driving home, as she was THAT drunk at work.
I keep telling Andre the same thing--he's not responsible for his girlfriend's sobriety. She needs to hit bottom and apparently that wasn't low enough for her. Nor is she ready to get sober, so he's truly stuck.

All I can say is I'm sorry. It's so hard.

Hugs from an anonymous Maritimer. Hope it gets easier.

 

[Sabis mom]

Both my parents were alcoholics, including my step parents. All my siblings have taken to it, in conjecture with drugs for some of them.

I did years of Alanon meetings, and still attend to this day when they leak back into my life. I stopped being their life rafts years ago. Just focus on me and mine, and they are free to go down any road they want, as long as it doesn’t lead to my front door! I have 4 sisters and 2 brothers. When people ask how many siblings I have, I say 1 sister, because she is the only one I haven’t written out of my life. And no, NOT the same sister I dealt with yesterday!!

One of the nice things about being an adult is the right to "take out the trash".

 

[Kennaandkurama]

Me being 16 and living with a family of aggressive alcoholics my whole life, i get it. I wish I could sell my parents on Craigslist w a free sign ? how great would that be?! Haha, & sheesh, I’m surprised you stuck out and helped her to get her in rehab, not once but 3 times. You tried, sometimes you just can’t help it though, your heart was in the right place.... to each their own.
I truly am sorry you have to go through that, no one should.. I wish you the best though

 

[Jchrest]

Thanks everyone for the support regarding dysfunctional families. I honestly had no idea my sister hadn’t left with my mom until I ran into the dining room and saw her and the guys. I thought maybe Seiran had either gotten something stuck on the wire door of her crate, or got bit by something (snakes, rodents, spiders are all commonly seen in doors, it’s in the country). So it was pretty shocking to find her there.

I did get a good laugh a few hours ago though. I got a call from the San Luis Obispo police department, regarding a claim that my dog had attacked and bitten my sister. I explained the situation and what had really happened, and he said it’s not the first time he’s had a run in with my sister calling in reports the day after a blackout bender. They sent officers to the house, and my sister didn’t have any bite marks, puncture wounds, or bruises anywhere. Nothing that pointed to a full grown GSD attacking her. The officer on the phone asked if I wanted to press any charges for a false report, and I told him it wasn’t worth my time, and that I didn’t have any plans of ever returning there as long as my sister still lived there. They said they may be pressing charges of their own, and asked if I would be willing to collaborate. I said sure, as long as I didn’t have to drive back up there to testify. So there’s that.

Seiran is doing great. She was perked up and playing and running with zoomies by late afternoon. Swelling is almost gone, and the cut is healing over nicely. I’m still grumpy, but a good nights sleep should fix that up.

 

[Jchrest]

Me being 16 and living with a family of aggressive alcoholics my whole life, i get it. I wish I could sell my parents on Craigslist w a free sign ? how great would that be?! Haha, & sheesh, I’m surprised you stuck out and helped her to get her in rehab, not once but 3 times. You tried, sometimes you just can’t help it though, your heart was in the right place.... to each their own.
I truly am sorry you have to go through that, no one should.. I wish you the best though

I’m so sorry you’re in a position where you are still too young to be able to completely cut them off. It’s such a cleansing feeling having that weight removed. Anytime you need to vent or need support, feel free to PM me. There are lot of us here that have gone through it, or are still dealing with it.

 

[selzer]

They sell a package of four padlocks. Uses the same key (so you only have to have one key in your pocket/on your key ring. It makes it easier to go from one cage to the next unlocking them.

Your sister has a drinking problem and cannot be trusted with the dogs. You need to padlock the crates. No, you shouldn't have to. But don't should all over yourself. It is unhelpful. What should be and what is are two different things, and if you give up worrying about what should be, you have enough energy to manage what is.

 

[Jchrest]

They sell a package of four padlocks. Uses the same key (so you only have to have one key in your pocket/on your key ring. It makes it easier to go from one cage to the next unlocking them.

Your sister has a drinking problem and cannot be trusted with the dogs. You need to padlock the crates. No, you shouldn't have to. But don't should all over yourself. It is unhelpful. What should be and what is are two different things, and if you give up worrying about what should be, you have enough energy to manage what is.

Thanks great advice, I never considered putting padlocks on the crates. It has always been to keep them in, not to keep others out, but I can see how that would save a lot of trouble in the future if one of my girls or stepdaughters decide they want to play with Seiran and take her out of her crate. We have one upstairs and one downstairs, and one upstairs and downstairs for Crios, so it could happen again, just different circumstances and different dogs.

Lyka is not crated. She doesn’t mind crating, but she’s never needed it. I’m thinking I need to rethink that as well. She’s getting a tad grouchy as she ages, and I know that could be directed onto the children or dogs. Better safe than sorry!

Thanks, honestly, I would have never thought of padlocks!

 

[Jchrest]

This is a link to a craigslist post I wrote 2 years ago right after the sister moved in. I moved out 2 weeks later. I think I can reword a few things and get her sold and off the property! Lol

https://post.craigslist.org/manage/6002760771

 

[middleofnowhere]

Well, now, that didn't work. Phoey.

 

[Jchrest]

Okay, I had to edit for cursing, but here is the post:

Handyman helper wanted (Santa margarita)
compensation: DOE

Edited:I've had a ton of responses to this ad, so let me break it down. Yes, it's real. Every word. And the need is growing. So is the mold. I have the next 4 days off work, and this will probably never happen again in the history of ever, so if you're interested, really and truly interested and not just curious, please text me at ***-***-****If you are going to complain about the weather and how dangerous it is, don't bother texting. I've been driving around in this stuff all day, and I'm still alive.

If you smoke a ton of weed, don't bother responding. I can't handle weed speed, I need the repairs done in a timely manner.

If you're a tweeker, I don't have anything to steal, and I will call the cops on you, or set my dog loose on you. Both options will end badly, and I’m not above using both options together.

If you made it this far, congratulations, see the original post below:

Looking for a handyman to HELP me with home reno. Including pulling and laying subfloors, drywall, light electrical/plumbing. Everything that needs to go is a mold factory.

Candidate must posses the following:

Thick skin. Must be able to handle large amounts of sarcasm and shenanigans.

Okay with annoying small children asking fifty zillion questions every 5 seconds, knocking your supplies over, and possibly spilling juice on you.

Okay with a surly teenager that will eye roll you to death.

Okay with a super old lady (that looks like she died, was buried in the pet cemetery and came back to life) telling you you're doing everything wrong, and trying to show you the "right" way to do it. And she smells, like really smells, and has no idea what personal space means. She will be literally in your face (and stay in your nose for a few days after). Then listen to me tell you the complete opposite. Should be a fun challenge for those who don’t like a boring work day.

Doesn't mind a crazy German Shepherd that hates men with a passion, and will bark, growl, and lunge at you. But like most females, she's all talk and no action. She won't bite (maybe).If we hit it off, I may be nice enough to lock her up so you don't soil yourself.

Must be willing to work with females. It's a house full of females (minus the teenage boy, but he hides in his room 24/7, you'll probably never catch a glimpse of him). We all think we know what we are doing. We probably don't. You'll have to break it to us gently, one of us is slightly (excessively) prone to sudden outbursts of uncontrollable sobbing.

Must be okay with alcoholics. There's only one here, but she makes up for all of us in the amount she drinks. Plus there's all that sobbing...

Pay depends on how much crap you're willing to put up with before you lose your mind. I've been here 3 months and want to throw myself off a bridge most days. Just giving you a general idea of what you're in for.

Work will be evenings/nights and weekends, because I work 10 hour days to support all these ungrateful leeches. I will be working WITH you. So don't try to take away my fun.

Having your own tools would be useful. I think I might have a pink Barbie hammer, but the kids have either buried it, the dog ate it, or it's stuck in the plumbing somewhere (Found it, used it, broke it).

If any of this sounds slightly appealing, email me your hourly rate and what actual talents you have. I’m not looking for a husband, boyfriend, or another person to mooch off me. I need actual skilled laborers that will arrive on time, leave on time, and be professional in this highly unprofessional setting.

Basic knowledge is a must, but you could probably fake more than the basics, because I won't know what you're talking about anyway. But the county will when they come to inspect, and if I don’t get tagged with the green tag, you don’t get paid with the green paper stuff people call money.

 

[middleofnowhere]

Thanks for the great writing. I want to know how the interview process went, how the hired person worked out...



What strikes me about this is how much of an incredible train wreck exists - meaning it isn't fiction but very real life. Like my recently moved neighbors, this would be too much for a soap opera script. It also brings to mind the book Hillbilly Elegy by J.D. Vance, too.

 

[Jchrest]

It was in California, so people I interviewed came with bloodshot eyes, slow speech, and no prior experience. Hence the edit to the ad. And the ones that weren’t high on weed were high on meth. I FINALLY found a contractor that did neither, but cost an arm and a leg. I cut the costs by doing all the demo myself, he was able to get supplies at a discount with his contractors license. I ended up with a beautiful room, gorgeous hardwood floors, a fully renovated kitchen, and was able to enjoy them for about 3 weeks before I moved out ?‍♀.