I choose my battles. If the guy wants to talk smack about my dog, I really couldn't care less. His opinion means squat to me. I'm not that thin skinned. I don't feel the need to retort or go away crying. That's just grade school drama. Grow up.

For all we know she could be begging for a GSD and he's buying one for her birthday. He wants it to be a surprise. In my world, the smack on the hinney is a playful gesture. I've been married 33 years and my husband still smacks my butt mostly when I'm pouting about something that is silly.

FWIW - I would not EVER discourage an old person to cut in line for a drink. EVER. Nor would I discourage a handicapped person. I'd show them respect. That is the way I was raised. I feel that a person who screams at the elderly is a bully.

 

So your standing next to a 6 year old who is sweating, sunburned and looks like she is going to pass out and who has been crying to her dad how thirsty she is and is clearly holding a refill cup and some perfectly healthy old lady jumps in front of the kid cuts a whole line of people and demands a refill and you would just simply let it stand? I think the old lady was being a very nasty word I can't say here. If you younger generation are afraid to take her on, as an old grey hair myself I'm not afraid to do it. Just like I'm not going to let some nasty guy disrespect his girlfriend and call my dog an ugly mutt.

BTW, I don't have to scream... I'm perfectly capable of putting someone in their place without screaming at them. If you think refusing to allow jerks to get away with jerky behavior makes me a bully well that sounds like a personal problem to me.

 

Opinions are like butts everyone has one. Doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of my dog it's how I and my family feel about him. As far as how the boyfriend talked to his girlfriend that's between them. I learned long ago to stay out of the middle of others relationships what is unacceptable to me is acceptable behavior to someone else.

 

You can't cure the world and you can't cure stupid. Sometimes as frustrating as it is, you need to rise above it and walk away. The girlfriend is not your problem and interfering in that would not help in any way other then some dork like him getting in your face.

 

I've always told people "you can say anything you want about me, but if you insult my wife, my kids or my dog we're going to have a problem".

However, in this instance the boyfriend's comments were just ignorant, and I doubt your dog understood him, so I'd just let it go. Who really cares what if this nitwit thinks your dog is ugly? Beauty is ultimately subjective anyway. I've always thought pekinese are not particularly attractive. I just don't like their appearance - even if they happen to be champion show dogs. I'm sure pekinese lovers find this inexplicable.

Of course I would never tell this to someone walking a pekinese, just like I wouldn't tell a parent pushing their newborn in a stroller that they have one ugly baby.

 

I was told at a club close to me Tyson had what it takes and he was a good dog that could go far, I liked the trainer, he was not being honest with me though. Maybe he was just being nice, I just wanted my dog properly assessed to see what I had, I took some advice and headed to a different trainer, a very experienced guy doing IPO with his dogs and had the credentials to back it up. He didn't exactly say "your dog sucks" but he basically said the dog was not cut out to do the sport and to not waste money.
It was solid, and saved me a bundle of cash.

 

Just to add my 2 cents...I think if you're going to a public park probably be prepared to encounter a lot of stupid or sometimes judgement or sometimes other peoples' weird problems.

I live in the middle of Atlanta. I don't really have time to drive out to the country all the time, so we go to the neighborhood dog park a lot. Yes, the dog park (already a lot of contention about dog parks, I know). I have heard all kinds of UNSOLICITED stupid comments about my dog or how/if I train him, where I got him from, or what I should expect as he matures. Sometimes, especially at the beginning, it would make me feel bad. Sometimes it makes me do research to find out about stuff. Sometimes I get mad and say stuff back. Or sometimes I would just smh and tell it as a story to my husband that night. It just depends on how "worth it" it is to me to have it out with someone.

I have never had someone tell me that my dog is ugly. I'm sure I would make some snappy comment too, because that's a ****ty thing to say and I would be mad. It really burned me when I first took my dog to the park (about a week after I got him) and someone sneered that he was "at least fifteen pounds underweight" like I just was a bad owner that starved her dog. Obv that guy did not know the whole story (he was an emaciated recent rescue) and was just judging me. HOWEVER, since I became a regular visitor, most other regulars know my dog's story and that's not a problem anymore. The guy is actually a nice guy and so in that case, I'm glad I contented myself with an annoyed side-eye instead of telling him off. Hopefully he figured out not to assume things at first impression as well.

My point is the public park is great, but it's also a place for obnoxious experiences. Pick your battles and try not to let it ruin your fun time if you can help it.

 

Have to agree, my dog is not suited for the sport and my trainer was completely honest and upfront with me about his abilities but in a completely respectful way... There is no need to tell someone their dog sucks, I wouldn't work with someone like that. I am not planning on trialing him but we still train regardless because I feel like it helps give me so much more knowledge and insight into dogs and the sport then just starting off with a better suited dog from the get go.

 

If you hear negative stuff of this sort from a person you don't know - you would feel challenged, and probably your dog has nothing in connection with this challenge, that is a human-attacking-human clash. If you hear negative stuff of this sort from someone whose opinion you value thinking you are his equal - it would upset you especially if his opinion was unjustified, show your teeth through smiling - nothing kills your opponent more effectively than a good joke, try to be reserved. If you hear negative opinion from the person your future depends on - seek opinion of yet another professional.I Better to do doesn't matter what. It happens time to time that a dog dismissed in one IPO club succeeds in a different club with another handler.

 

ignorance, intolerance, rudeness, aggressiveness.

Understanding, compassion, politeness, respect, forgiveness.

We all get to pick and choose.

 

Seems I've been waiting in lines all my life. One thing to teach your kids - If they need to cut in line, "ask- please it's an emergency" and watch the red sea part for that person. Sometimes, it's simple communication....

 

Yeah. Raised two kids. And 1 of 9 children. We've all been taught that. The body language of this child screamed "it's an emergency". That particular situation was not a lack of communication. It was purposeful ignorance. Thus my point...no compassion...

 

I constantly forget how nice, compassionate, respectful, the people on this forum on.

Mostly when they're calling other people names and being extremely passive aggressive. Others choose to take their negative comments about others to Facebook.

Such good people we have on this forum, theyve never disrespected anyone or broken any laws. It's so amazing they've all come together in one place to discuss how perfectly they live their lives.

 

:thumbup:

I took Sabi for a car ride about 6 weeks before she died and some woman felt the need to tell me as I was lifting her into the car that I was disgusting and 'that dog' should be dead.
Nothing that came out of my mouth was polite, subtle or quiet. Not one of my finer moments to be sure but I bet she'll think twice before saying anything like that ever again.

Now when the weirdo told me that Shadow was 'kinda funny lookin', I just smiled sweetly and said
'You're no super model yourself, but most people would be to polite to mention it'
He had the grace to look embarrassed.

 

I don't think people are any more or less compassionate now then in the past.

The tendency is to remember negative experiences more so then positive ones.

An old man called my dog an "aggressive shepherd" and open carried a large hand gun across the street to shoot her, while she was on leash right next to me. I was furious, wanted to call the police. What a bully.

Her only offense was having "boofed" at him as we walked past him 7 hours earlier that day. (She was right in sensing something was off with this man)

Turns out he's very ill. Possibly suffering dementia. Sits in a chair in the garage drinking heavily, day after day, his pants soaked with his urine.

We are working to get him help.

I was so angry initially, thought of him as a bully. Really he is a very sick and sad old man. Practicing compassion.

 

We do indeed tend to remember the negatives! I was in TSC when this guy approached Jax. He came to her. Pet her, talked to her and then oddly stated 'and you better be good' in a tone that implied she wasn't. LOL That was the worst experience I've had with anyone saying anything bad about one of my dogs. I generally don't get to upset about someone saying anything bad. It's not my karma.

 

TSC attracts it's share of "odd" I guess!

I was at TSC with Ilda, had her in a down, working under distraction and two men walked by. Just as the man closest to Ilda passed he turned towards her and made an aggressive lunge at her. She barked but held her down.

Phew. I was mad.

I let it go. It wasn't worth starting a confrontation, especially with Ilda in tow.

Sometimes it's not easy though.

In edit, on the day crazy old guy threatened us, had several different people smile stop and compliment Ilda earlier.

 

BTW, Bella67 I think you handled the situation just fine. Not much else you can do.

Though I think Shepherdmom makes a fair point too. Sometimes the right thing to do is stand up to bullies. Other times it's better to let it go and it's not always clear what path to take.

 

Jeeeezzzz...what would make a person do that? I'm cringing while I'm laughing. That's a special level.

 

I dunno. Trying to be macho?

I've seen crazy stuff happen at dogs parks to other people and their dogs too.

I think it happens more to women though. My 6'4" muscular hubby, no one messes with him.

After awhile we all get tired of being pushed around though and can hit a breaking point, whether it's someone bullying us or witnessing another person being bullied.

 

Yea, I've stepped in more than a few times when I saw that a woman was about to get pounded by a drunk boyfriend. I would ask if she thought she was safe. If she said no, dummy me became Catwoman or something. Trying to get her out of fist distance until the cops arrived.

Worked out ok except for once, not so much. The guy was apparently on crack too - he picked me up and threw me into a car and body slammed the door. Problem was my foot got quite shattered as it had not made it past the edge of the door.

Now, I just call the cops

 

OH CRAP!!! So sorry!

 

I constantly forget how nice, compassionate, respectful, the people on this forum on.

Mostly when they're calling other people names and being extremely passive aggressive. Others choose to take their negative comments about others to Facebook.

Such good people we have on this forum, theyve never disrespected anyone or broken any laws. It's so amazing they've all come together in one place to discuss how perfectly they live their lives.

Says somebody, passive aggressively. lol

 

How can anyone be anything but passive aggressive on here? Full on aggression will get you booted. It's the only way to fight back when attacked

 

The only negative comments I get about Sinister are "he's too big", "he's too hairy" and "is he a black lab?"

If someone said something rude about his appearance then I would say something equally as rude about their own appearance.

 

There is a time when we must stand up for ourselves and others. I just don't feel that someone voicing their opinion on my dog being a purebred or mutt, be it idiotic to me or not, is a time to make a stand.

I won't disregard age or the mental/physical health of a human being if they choose to break rules set for the courteous. I won't teach my child to do so either. I'm not walking in their shoes (just yet!) and I'm blessed not to be. It may cause a slight disruption to my day which may result in me feeling a little cross. But it suits me better to keep my temper and brave it out for the moment then to become a coward and belittle an old lady in front of a crowd and enjoy the fact the crowd chimed in as well.

 

It may cause a slight disruption to my day which may result in me feeling a little cross. But it suits me better to keep my temper and brave it out for the moment then to become a coward and belittle an old lady in front of a crowd and enjoy the fact the crowd chimed in as well.

Or maybe the fact the rest of the crowd chimed in shows how badly that person was behaving. Probably the 50 other old ladies and men in line waiting their turn and the 25 little kids and their parents waiting their turn had a point.

I'd much rather confront someone to their face than talk about them behind their back on facebook.

 

It's very sad that it's become a pattern of people taking a thread and making it into some sort of debate monster. Everyone here is an individual, which means we won't have the same opinions or views on the world. You don't have to like it, that's the beauty of it! But people have a lack of respect of other people, and no matter how you try to justify it, it doesn't make it right. It's never "What you say" it's "How you say it". You can correct people in a matter without coming off as a complete jerk and still being respectful of them as a person. Of course that doesn't mean that everyone you try that with will be thankful of that, but at least you know that you did it in a way that was mature and helpful. Just like Emmett said, "You don't have to be the bad guy". OK that was just a funny to break up all these darn seriousness. Come on people, let's get along!

 

Facebook is the place to be when you want to start secret groups to talk about things behind anyone else's back. I know of a few personally where you have to be "voted in" by other members to participate!

I've actually gotten a few negative comments about my dogs in front of me before. I was told that I wouldn't be able to title Aiden by a few people in the sport. No one was blatantly rude, but they were honest with their opinions of what I was capable of with him. I never had to say anything again after we retired him IPO3 x 2, FH.

I still get comments from some people about how they'd "never own a coated dog because of xyz" which I always find to be a strange comment to say to someone who clearly owns a coated dog. But I don't really care half the time. My coated dog is a lot more awesome than the dogs owned by the people who have the negative comments anways

 

Facebook is the place to be when you want to start secret groups to talk about things behind anyone else's back. I know of a few personally where you have to be "voted in" by other members to participate!

Those exist, who knew?

 

Once you've been here awhile you know who the intolerant, rude, passive aggressive people are, and who the kind and compassionate ones are. The former tend to attract attacks, the latter, not so much.

 

The weird people seem too come out of the woodwork when you own a pup, the other day I bought a hotdog off a street vender. I sat down on nearby bench and dog near me on leash. well this busy body old lady comes by and gives me heck for not sharing my hotdog with the puppy...if she had waited a few seconds she would have noticed that I did share part of the hot dog with the pup but who was she to even give me advice on nothing she knows.. thank God most people are "normal"

 

Lol, you're lucky yet another busy body didn't come up and give you heck for feeding a poor, defenseless puppy something as junk-foody as a hotdog!

 

TO the vet tech who ignored advise & got bitten an appropriate response would be "I told you so."
TO the guy dissing his GF via dissing your dog - nothing. Just smile and wave or maybe ask the GF if she would like to meet the "ugly mutt."