He looks so content and peaceful. I know these coming days will be hard and wonderful at the same time

 

I think his sudden lucidity is certainly a double edged sword.
One hand is so comforting to have his last few days seeing the joy in his eyes.
Other hand it is painful to remember that this is not his normal self.

Not sure what's brought on this sudden contentedness. I've worked with the elderly a lot and it reminds me of the last few days when some could "sense" the end was close....they would often have such clarity and calmness to them. Perhaps in relief to knowing they weren't going to struggle much longer. Maybe he know and is truly thankful....or at least that's what I'll tell myself.

 

I experienced a similar serenity and calmness in both Crusher and Felony's last days. I think that they sense that we are at peace and they trust us. Once the decision was made. I was able to focus and enjoy my time with them. I remember Felony trotting toward the lake. I remember Crusher's look of ecstatic disbelief as she got to eat all the tempura shrimp that she wanted.

It's been almost three months since Felony died and I still miss her every day. I am comforted by the fact that she passed so peacefully, surrounded by her family.

 

I really dont' have much to say, just that I'm thinking of you. I'm very sad for you and what you are having to go through. I'm glad you have a nice weekend with him. He does look very, very happy.

 

:hugs:

 

I keep reading this thread and I am so scared each time to open it. I am so sorry you are having to go through all this, your family and Kaos. I wish they could all pass peacefully in their sleep and none of us would have to make these difficult decisions. There can't be anything worse. Thinking of you.

 

Thank you all so much for following along.....it has given me an opportunity to "vent" a little now and then.

Kaos is definitely paying for all of his "good times" this weekend. He is very stiff and sore, and back to just sleeping, eating and the occasional growl and whimper this morning. As scared as I am for how it is going to feel Friday morning, the first morning waking up without him...I am anxious for him to be out of pain.

I think he would struggle on forever if we allowed it. He is so eager to be with his family always...that is the hardest part.

Our neighbor who I would venture to say loves Kaos as much as we do has asked to take Kaos to play for a little bit this evening. His playing consists of K following him around his woodworking shop while feeding him treats :wub: I wanted to say no....as I don't want to share him right now....but he and Kaos are so close...I know he needs closure as well.

 

My neighbor, who is going to be 83, felt the same way about our lab. In fact, our dog used to follow him around in his shop too, LOL. The day we had to put him down, I had him come and say goodbye, and my mom too. They both thanked me.

Thinking of you Candice.

 

Sorry you are going through this. My dog was diagnosed
with cancer this week. He is 10 yrs old but thinks he is a pup. Many times he will run around then fall over stunned he wasn't able
to keep with the other dogs. Now he has mouth cancer.

All I can say is make the best of the good days, hug them a lot
on the bad ones and prepare for inevitable.
Easier said than done right?
I hope we can get through this.
(( hugs to you))

 

So sorry you are having to go through this, but so very happy you will have such wonderful memories of your handsome Kaos.

 

Thank you everyone. Kaos did not want to work in the shop last night. He just kept going out the doggy door and to the gate to come back home. Our neighbor did get to sit outside with him a bit. Seeing grown men cry is not a strong point for me....so I spent most of yesterday in tears yesterday. So many of our neighbors have been so upset....I always knew they liked him, I never realized how much. It is comforting and sad to see that so many others will be missing him....even if it's not at the same level I will.

My husband has been showing his "true colors" lately. He has always jokingly told me " I only love that dog, because you do". Seeing how upset (even though he tries to hide it) he has been lately is very hard for me as well. No matter what he's always said, he loves Kaos so much. I think the kids are trying to pretend this isn't happening....I don't think they will start to fall apart until he actually leaves us. I'm especially worried about my oldest son... he and Kaos probably have the strongest bond outside of mine and Kaos'. Before PSR on Monday...my middle boy said his prayer was going to be that Sherman never get arthritis and that God find a way to make Kaos' go away. OH if only that were possible.

Krystyne...I'm very sorry to hear about your dog. Don't take any day for granted and cherish each moment, each bark, each lick...........

 

Society does strange thing to men and crying. My husband broke down and balwed liky a baby when we put Toby to sleep, yet did not cry when his own parents passed away.

The dogs have always been my dogs but there is a wall sometimes I think men put up to keep from being hurt. .... Lets add prayers for your whole family too. You never know how someone will handle grief and somehow those who seem the most unaffected are bothered the deepest. My husband told me just this year after Cyra passed that he had memories of his father dying when he was a young man during that time.....that through Tobys death he grieved for his own father in a way he had not been "allowed" to. {we were born in the 50s when little boys had to be "men" and not have emotions}

Over the years I have come to accept and not judge any display or non display of grief. We all carry it differently.

 

It is very sad you have to go through this for so long. It was the same with my last 2 dogs. They hang on and you think you are prepared but ...
My sympathy to Kaos and you and your family.

 

Thank you so much. I think Kaos would hang on forever if that's what he thought I wanted. I asked at the beginning of this thread how to prepare myself. Many said you can't....didn't make sense.

Now that we are one day away from losing him....it makes sense. You CAN'T prepare yourself. I feel like someone is sitting on my chest, squeezing my stomach.......all the while I can't stop the tears from coming.

 

Thank you for prayers for the family....we could definitely use them.

I have always tried to let my boys know it is ok to cry. I hope you know I meant no judgement about men crying.....if anything it is one of the saddest, hardest things to watch, perhaps because they're not "allowed" to do it often enough. I truly struggle watching others in pain. My husband is always so busy making sure every one is "ok" he rarely takes time to "feel" the emotions himself.....until he can't hold it and that usually ends with horrible migraines. So I am actually welcoming of any emotion he is letting out, reminds me and him that he is not superman and can not be responsible for everyone else while neglecting himself.

Watching my neighbor man cry is so hard, I know he is 1/2 crying for Kaos and 1/2 for his Ol' Benny that he had to say goodbye to 2 years ago.

 

I didn't have as long to spend with our last gsd before she was put to sleep, just two days. She was having uncontrollable seizures. Amazingly on her last morning she ran over to the neighbor's house to visit one last time, something she hadn't been able to do for weeks. It meant the world to my neighbors who had lost Omy's best friend the year before. You're right- these dogs are so strong and devoted that they will sacrifice themselves to bring a smile to our faces.

 

Candace my heart goes out to you. I truly respect and hope I can emulate your example w/ Kaos w/ my two seniors. Kaos based on your posts ,pics and your neighbors is a fantastic dog and a beautiful senior gentlemen. It is a wonderful gift you give him to leave while still being who he is. I wish you comfort tommorrow and the knowledge that Kaos wil be running free but always having his eye on you and yours.

 

I've been watching and reading this thread for some time now. I cry with every update and thoughts and prayers for you. I have been right along with you and feel your heartache. He sounds like a much loved guy who you gave a wonderful life too. You will have a great number of people thinking of you and Kaos tomorrow as you send him on to his next journey of his life. I have had Thursday in my mind also knowing that is the day you will send Kaos on his way. He will go forth but will be looking over his shoulder for you to follow when it is your time and he will be there for you as you were for him. Until then.. he will be having a great time running and playing as pups should. :hug:

 

This has been a real tough post to watch Prayers to you and your loved one .........:hug::hug:

 

I too, have been following along with this thread. I know tomorrow will be hard. Just keep in mind that all of us will be thinking of you and praying for you and your family!

I learned when Beau died three weeks ago, that you cannot contain your sorrow or your heartache. You have to let it out somehow, whether through crying or talking or posting on an internet forum, which by the way, was very therapeutic for me. It didn't take the pain away, or make it any easier, but it was nice to be able to discuss my feelings with people who love animals, especially dogs, as much as I do. I didn't feel so alone, or so stupid because I was heartbroken over losing my dog, something that some in society find silly.

Tomorrow, Kaos will be whole once more. And he will be waiting at the bridge for you when the time comes. In the meantime, he will be keeping company with all of the dogs we have all lost over the years.

Tears coming.....and all this from a 50 year old man.

Bless you and your family!

 

You all have been such an amazing source of comfort through all of this. I truly appreciate everyone's thoughts and prayers. Also your continuing to stick through this terribly painful situation. You have all helped make such a lonely heartbreaking time a bit more bearable.

I am not sure how it is possible to feel so emotional yet so numb at the same time. I cannot explain it any better than that......I just feel empty.

Kaos is an amazing boy. He has truly been the source of more comfort and love than I could have ever imagined. He has been through so much with us and loved us through all of it. He is one constant in my life who has never not been able to give me what I needed, whether it be cheering up, calming down, a laugh....he has always been there....through changing of cities, through loss of pregnancies, through my husband traveling, through birth of my children...he has always brought a calm serenity to my days. He's never asked why, he never judged, he's never told me to get over it....he was just there to be whatever I needed him to be. I don't know what I will do without that.

I read somewhere about this being a time that I need to accept my pain so that he could be free of his....no truer words have been spoken. I just wish it wasn't so hard.

 

I will be thinking of you all day tomorrow... I hope that you may find a little easment in your pain knowing that he is free of his.

 

Thinking of you and Kaos. You are both in my prayers.

 

We'll hold you in our hearts tomorrow

 

I will be thinking of you and your family tonight and tomorrow. Hugs to you all.

 

My best wishes to you and your beloved friend.