well....
she doesn't like dogs at all? Maybe if she met a cute little puppy and it was all sweet (the pup you want) she would have a change of heart? That's all I can think of right now... but I don't know your wife.

Good luck and hope you get your dog!

 

She just does not like animals.
Thats why we were looking for a puppy to start with.

I am so desperate.

 

I don't know how we can help. I would get on the same page before getting a dog.

My husband is not involved with my dogs, but he is not against me having them. If we weren't married, he would not have them, but he understands they are important to me. He is very busy with work, sports that he plays/coaches, and finishing his masters degree and I am very busy training and competing with my dogs. I do all of their care, unless it is something I specifically ask him to do (feed one, let one out....). But he doesn't hate animals, his family had dogs growing up.

My aunt is borderline between not liking and hating animals and my uncle has always had a dog, but he has a working lab that lives outside in a kennel. She has ZERO invovlement with his dog and the dog has never been allowed inside. She probably doesn't even know how old his current dog is. This is just fine because my uncle does not keep a dog as a pet, he keeps a dog either for part of his job, or his hobby of having a bird dog for hunting.

 

I don't know how we can help. I would get on the same page before getting a dog.

My husband is not involved with my dogs, but he is not against me having them. If we weren't married, he would not have them, but he understands they are important to me. He is very busy with work, sports that he plays/coaches, and finishing his masters degree and I am very busy training and competing with my dogs. I do all of their care, unless it is something I specifically ask him to do (feed one, let one out....). But he doesn't hate animals, his family had dogs growing up.

My aunt is borderline between not liking and hating animals and my uncle has always had a dog, but he has a working lab that lives outside in a kennel. She has ZERO invovlement with his dog and the dog has never been allowed inside. She probably doesn't even know how old his current dog is. This is just fine because my uncle does not keep a dog as a pet, he keeps a dog either for part of his job, or his hobby of having a bird dog for hunting.

I agree, and this is my husband and me too: He would not have a dog but for me. He is very involved with the dog because he does love her and does enjoy having a dog, but he's really a cat person. I'd be the driving force behind any subsequent dogs just like I was with this one.

And my in-laws are kind of like your aunt and uncle: my mother-in-law really doesn't like dogs, but my father-in-law would be glad to have one. She always just said no, so he's never had one. He gets his fix when they come to visit us.

 

I would not continue to want a puppy or any pet if my spouse was so anti....that said, I've never been attracted to anyone that isn't an animal lover.
Opposite, in high school the guys who I dated if they had a dog, was what appealed to me, and the breed did matter, lol.
You can't really push a pup onto your wife and her lifestyle. And if the option is kennel dog, then the wife won't really know the joy of having a companion if the dog is constantly in a kennel and the energy level is compounding which can cause bad behavior or lack of manners. Your wife won't want a smelly dog that is exuberant in her face just because the dog wants love and affection from her.

 

Stick with your wife and kids and don't risk trouble in your marriage. A GSD pup is going to grow up to be a big dog that requires a lot of responsibility. It is not the best breed to manipulate a spouse with the cute puppy stage. It is going to back fire if you go through with this against her and the dog and the kids will pay the price, and you probably too. And the fun of finally getting your way and having a pup, quickly wears off if it causes a rift between you and your wife.
I know it is after the fact, but communicating about these ideas and desires is crucial before committing to a relationship. This thread may help others avoid this dilemma.

 

Thats what I am worried about. It's not fair to force something she doesn't like on her. its not fair to the puppy either.

 

Well, I had a guy stop by with his son. They had a male GSD and were looking for a female to breed with. Their story was the wife was totally against getting a dog especially one in the house and now she was nuts about the dog. ( Jasira was way to young at the time.) But i tend to agree with the other posts. Don't push a dog on your wife.

 

You could try couples counseling to talk about differences and compromise. While maybe the dog issue is a lost cause, it seems like there is a bit of rigidity that could really cause problems in child rearing. And then of course there is the child. When I was young I brought every stray animal home. Drove my parents nuts so they got me a poodle which was better to them than the strays... but I got my dog. ;-)
Best.

 

What about trying a smaller breed of dog, maybe your wife would find that more tolerable? German shepherds can be pretty big and rambunctious, and also shed a lot. They're just a lot of dog compared to some of the other popular breeds. I would also say that they are more sensitive to family conflict and negative emotions... It can really stress them out.
If you are set on getting a dog, I would say maybe try a calmer more low maintenance breed for starters, that way you could increase the chances of your wife warming up to him. Maybe if that goes well you could someday try a GSD if that's what you have your heart set on

 

I dislike the whiney waffling boo hoo type.
She agreed - end of story.
No reason to be childish about it, maybe suggest a quick stint in a couples counselling?
Maybe explain how you feel,
Who knows?
Maybe don't get a dog, no need to bring a dog into a hostile sitch

 

Back up a step. She agreed to a dog. What did she mean by that? Ask her what she had in mind? Next year? Five years from now? What kind of dog. As much as I love GSDs, if my spouse bought a dog without telling me, I wouldn't be happy and the same if I did. Why didn't you tell her you were putting down a deposit? The breeder may even give you back your deposit if you tell the person what happened. No breeder wants to place a dog in a home with an adult who doesn't want it.

 

It sounds like she was pacifying you. She didn't think you would up and do it. Marriage is a compromise. I really don't associate with people that don't like animals. I am not one to go without having a dog, so I do feel bad for the OP and hope a compromise can be made.

 

sorry. no dog. especially not a german shepherd. no point in hashing about the fact that she agreed once upon a time...when it comes right down to it you must absolutely accept the fact that you married someone who does not like animals. period. I feel bad for you, I'm sorry you're in this situation, but what is, is. I repeat, your wife does not like dogs. you are married to your wife. of course, you could try some therapy, therapy can work wonders. but my feeling is that someone who is SO against having animals is not going to change deep down in their heart. no point now in saying this is something you should have explored thoroughly before you got married. walk away from your deposit. so sorry.

 

I think that you should walk from your deposit. But do not walk away from your passion. Instead, volunteer at your local shelter and clean kennels, walk dogs, and begin training them for the shelter.

Make this your regular hobby, and if you wife does not like you spending a reasonable amount of time on your hobby, explain that you love animals, and you want to work with them and help them, etc. You really would like to own an animal, but you accept that she really isn't accepting of that, so you are trying to work around having a animal in the home because you respect her feelings on the subject.

At some point, you might find a critter that needs help, that she might give house room to. Sometimes a critter with special needs will melt people's hearts. And sometimes it won't. So fostering an animal has to be something both you and she agree to. And agreeing to this does not mean keeping totally away from it.

 

I have a friend who wanted a puppy.....he wanted one for years, we actually met on this site 12? 13 years ago. His wife not only dislikes dogs, but is afraid of them. He came to club, he waited over a year for me to have a litter, he brought her to club several times to see the dogs, see pups etc. She did NOT want a puppy - she conceded to his wishes and accepted that he would get a puppy.

The puppy ended up regulated to a crate in the garage ALOT....got out, ran and played in the yard when he was home (he is a doctor, so busy schedule) but mostly back in the crate....having her in the house was a battle apparently (friend of family filled me in ALOT after I got her back). He would go to Canada to visit family regularly. The dog was boarded even though the wife and son were home. She would not care for the dog. About 16 months after buying the puppy, he returned her. Wife did NOT want the puppy, and life was not good for the pup or apparently for him, as she was always an issue between them.


When you have a baby on the way, your wife will have more than enough on her plate...do everyone a favor - especially the pup - and pass. A dog is not someTHING that needs to be an item of compromise, it is a feeling being, and if it is not welcome, it will not go well....JMHO

Still friends with him, still talk to him.....he still wants a dog badly - but not fair to anyone to send a dog to that home.

Lee

 

Definitely pass on the puppy! It will not end well if you convince her into it... My boyfriend wanted a puppy in fact it was his idea, but I wanted him more... he didn't realize how much work and money they were and it ended up being a constant battle the first month, it was hard on us, me, and Wick! After lots of hard work ( I am the only one that trains or does anything to do with Wick ) Wick became a very well behaved puppy... And the boyfriend has finally warmed up and strongly bonded with him (they are best pals and im kind of jealous). The point is that he WANTED a puppy and it still nearly tore us apart because puppies are crazy! It's incredibly stressful to raise a puppy with resent in the household and the worst part is for the puppy because they don't realize or understand what they are doing to cause the bad emotions they receive (they are very perceptive). It's confusing enough to be a puppy without the extra stress. I am so sorry to have to say this as I looooovee dogs and personally dont believe life is worth it without one, and you deserve to have that joy too.

 

wow sue (selzer) that is a SPLENDID idea. op, please give this some serious consideration. that would be such a win-win-win situation. for you, your wife, and the dogs whose lives you could enrich so much. what an outstanding suggestion!!!

 

Anatole France said it best. Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened

 

I'd walk away. If she already isn't a fan of dogs, she's really not going to like them after the land shark stage. When the dog eats her favorite pair shows nobody is going to be happy. You, her and especially the dog.

 

Ok, I can share my experience fresh n somewhat similar. I wanted a dog, wife agreed. I had seen animals in my childhood, which means I had NOT reared them or brought them up, someone else did. A dog n a GSD at that is a big deal. I have brought home Dude, who is 14 weeks now. he is at my home since 2 weeks.
If you are working, then the dog ends up spending a LOT more time with your spouse than you. He needs to be intensively trained for first 8 months to a year. Mind you, my wife has remarked in the the first two weeks: If I could spend so much time with kids n their studies, it would change their grades. So priorities.
A dog is as much, if not more, work like bringing up a child. And my lady of the house kinda wanted the dog 30% yes, so plays ball with the OMG "poo n pee in house" scenes.

But we are have resolved to give Dude a good life. My guess is the PnP stuff is the MOST difficult part for a new owner to reconcile, n there spouse has to go along.

My mistakes: A very good idea is to have a team ready of trainers n vet n nutrition etc guys BEFORE you get the puppy.

A place in your house for the puppy, like his feeding place, accidental pee place, accidental poo place, et all. In case you have kids, their consent is MOST important. My elder one is crazy for Dude, and younger one does not come out of her room when Dude is around, which means she does not come out at all. I don't want kids to feel unsafe in their house, hence work a lot with kids on the pet matter.

Am missing from work for a good part of last two weeks. And end up spending a lot of time on such forums.

A adult pedigree, obedient n trained GSD is a beauty to look at, certainly. Also difficult is the part that once a GSD fan, difficult to connect or have another dog.

To get or not to get, is a call you have to carefully take with kids around. But maybe, not a GSD. Maybe a much smaller breed.
Good Luck!

 

I'm guessing your current kids are young. I'm guessing your wife might feel she has enough on her plate right now and doesn't want to add another mouth to feed and tend after.

I'd wait till after your kids are a bit older and not as dependent on your wife. I bet once they start school, she'll be more receptive to a pup.

 

We don't have kid now. But plan to have our first baby next year.

 

Wait, so you don't have kids together?

Before you do have kids, really think about this. Do you want to irrevocably and permanently tie yourself to someone who does not want what you appear to want very badly? I'm not saying, "She's terrible, divorce her!!!!eleventy" but I am saying it isn't too late to really carefully consider this and decide if it's a dealbreaker. No judgment if it is. It wouldn't have been for me, but I could understand it being a dealbreaker for others.

 

Then it's an even worse time for you to try and force the issue. Just about the MOST common reason that people abandon their puppy to a shelter or craigslist "free puppy" ad is that they have a baby. Again I ask you to PLEASE consider selzer's post, that would be such a win-win and you would feel so good in your heart knowing you were actually helping dogs in need compared to how truly awful you'll feel when you get rid of a puppy to save your marriage.

 

I would get your dog fix by volunteering at an animal shelter. Maybe giving a few part-time hours to a local vet.

From everything you're saying, absolutely, you should not get a dog.

 

If you really want a dog.. And it's important to you. You can make make her understand. That's it really. It's a wonderful thing having a dog, and if you feel strongly enough about it it's worth the bit of squabble. Just don't get a dog and then expect her to look after it. It will be entirely your responsibility. That said, if you can handle that and you really want it I think it's unfair to deny you.
Maybe remind her how much she wants children. How it's an integral part of her existence and what she wants out of life. Maybe you feel the same way about having a dog. Maybe you don't. Decide how important it is to you. And if it's worth it. If it is you can make it work. Sometimes it's not fair to deny somebody you love something he really desires. The question is how important is it to you. If it is really important to you, don't give up on it. Really having a dog is an amazing thing. It will need to be an extra big commitment for you. You will need to invest time and money into training I believe so that it can grow up to be behaved and a pleasure to live with, esp. Since your wife is not that keen. The last thing you want is a dog that is out of control and a your wife constantly bickering about it. Again.. This is something I would never personally sacrifice or back down on. That's just me. You don't need 2 dogs. Just one. If that's what you really want you need not fight. Just make her understand how important it is to you.

 

One of the things to remember is that for a person who doesn't like/enjoy animals is that all the things we cherish about them is often the things that repulse them. The smell, noise, hair, mess, neediness, training, quirks. I agree with Selzer volunteer your time working with them. Just make sure you always remember that you can't fall in love with one and bring it home. While she may have agreed to someday get a dog you knew going into the relationship that she wasn't an animal lover.

 

Oh WesS, I respectfully STRONGLY disagree with your post. You simply cannot MAKE anybody do anything...especially without so much resentment that it will ultimately cause a breakdown of the relationship. The reality is that the OP works (is this correct op?) and the dog will be left with the wife during those times. We all love our shepherds, but they are large dogs, who shed tons of hair, can be demanding of time and energy to train because of their vast intelligence, can do major damage to person and property when left to their own devices, have some serious health issues rampant throughout the breed no matter the "lines" and are just, in general, not the dog for a first time owner who plans on having a child within the first year of a puppy's life. Now add on top of that the fact that the wife does not want a dog...well, I'm here to tell you that there's a VAST amount of truth to the old saying "happy wife, happy life".

Op, please do not make this terrible mistake. Do this future puppy a huge favor and walk away from your deposit. Maybe do some couples' therapy for the opinion of a professional regarding whether your wife could ever whole-heartedly be on board with getting a puppy, and to help her examine her reasons and maybe change her feelings about this...and if so, please choose a breed that is easier for a first time owner. There are dogs in shelters called shelter favorites, they are dogs that shelter workers advocate for because they are all around great dogs temperment wise...they're also sometimes called "turn-key" dogs cause they're easy keepers and ready to fit right into family life/your home.

I sincerely wish you all the best in coming to terms with this vast disagreement in your relationship and hope for you that you find the right dog at the right time in your future, if you can work thru the difference of opinion about this with your wife. And no fair being angry or resentful towards her, I'm sure you've always known about this dislike for dogs, since likely long before you married her. We choose what we choose and get what we get. Simple but true.