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You want a GSD if the sight of a jumbo clump of undercoat fluff floating on the surface of your guest's coffee doesn't turn your face white with horror, but rather elicits a snappy response from you like, "Extra fiber is great for the colon!"

You want a GSD if you have either the resources for a RainbowDysonKirby Turbo DustSucker 2000 with twin deluxe jet engines. Or, you have the upper body strength to give your Hoover a Heimlich maneuver.

You want a GSD if the thought of peeling your refrigerator repairment off the ceiling fan doesn't bother you. One look at Schnookums, and the man became airborne.

You want a GSD if being awarded your very own reserved parking spot at your vet's is more tempting to you than being able to afford the computer upgrade you wanted.

You want a GSD if you want a wide berth when out walking, as surly teens suddenly cross to the other side of the road, mothers pick up their children, and owners of tiny toy breed dogs make fast escapes to avoid their darlings being appetizers.

You want a GSD if you can handle the mile-long tongue, the full-body leans, the 80 lbs of lapdog, the warm snuggling, the ball playing, the private jokes that only you and your dog understand. The warm look of devotion in his or her eyes that tells you that there is no one in this world for your GSD... but you.
 
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