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In his evil quest for internet domination, Rocky would rule that every post would have to include a video with a squeaky toy. No squeaky, no posty. He would also ban me permanently so that I would use that time to play with him.
 

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Hmm.. I'm gonna get a but creative here. A day in the life of Hazel on the German Shepherd forum

8:00 a.m.- logs on first thing to check who responded to her post last night about going to bed waaaay to early(like 12 a.m.! So not ready for bed yet!)
*Reading comments* "hmm.. ok, ok. Ok. Makes sense. I agree 100%! Totally unfair. Ok. Ok. Wait.... Oh. My. Goodness. Ruuude. Ok miss diva, with a pedagree**, let me show you who is boss around here!"
*Responding to "mean girl" comment* "Dear diva dog. I liked your account! You taught me how to find all the cute boys as a mixed breed, how to tolerate a bath, and how to keep my fur from mats! But.. but... you betrayed me! You bragged about an all nighter on the plane, coming home form a dog show and it just made me furious! I wanted to.. to.. I won't even say it! But oh that made me mad. I hope you never comment on my posts again!"

11 A.M. - checks the comments again, no pedegree dog response

2 p.m.- posts about her favorite dog food and all that stuff

8 P.M. posts about how late she will stay up, and falls asleep at the computer?

Hope you guys enjoyed her daily routine on the forum!

**I have absolutely nothing against pedigrees, so don't be offended haha. Just thought of all the movies where the pedegrees look down upon mixed breeds?
 

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I preferred your record, you showed me how to discover all the charming young men as a blended breed, how to endure a shower and how to keep my hide from mats, in any case, at the same time, you double crossed me, you gloated around an all niter on the plane, returning home frame a canine show and it simply made me angry...












Lighten up, just enjoy life, smile more, laugh more, and don’t get so worked up about things
 

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He'd ask about the best places to go exploring, and the best method for stopping a squirrel from going up a tree. You could expect to see posts extolling the virtues of glorious deer, but complain about rules against chasing them. He'd ask about how to get his humans to get up off the couch and play fetch outside more, and why cats NEVER want to play.
 

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Griff: my life has been more pleasant since I stopped fighting her. I gave up, just wasn't worth it...*dropping down on the floor, sighing, looking at her
 

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She's ask if anyone had the winning Lotto numbers so I could win and not have to be at work all **** day without her. Edit: Apparently the slightly stronger version of the word "darn" is verboten on this site and is automatically redacted. Prude!
 

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Assuming my dog would sit down and type I imagine these would be her questions.

How can I get my mom to stop having anxiety? It gives me anxiety.

Why do strangers and dogs always want to say hi?

Why don't strangers and dogs get it when I tell them to back off?

Why do I get anxiety around people and dogs but not neighborhood cats? I make friends with them even if they hiss at me.

Why doesn't my mom give me more treats and food, I'm clearly the bestest girl.

What's the best way to get rid of grass allergies?

Why is the tiny human so loud when I'm sleeping?

What is my mom doing when she leaves the house? Is she meeting those evil strangers or other dogs? This is very worrying someone answer ASAP

How to get rid of fence and scare away neighbors.

Why doesn't my mom like when I bark at the neighbors? I'm just trying to protect us.

Why does my mom hate when I eat my new bed? Isn't it supposed to be mine?

And many more I'm sure. These are just a few I would imagine she'd ask haha.
 
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