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my 21 month old, neutered male is being an ass.

today we decided to meet our friends new dog. they got this dog about a month ago. hes maybe 8 months old, 60lbs (not gsd btw). he also just got his stitches removed (no balls!). we met at a cafe we usually meet. at the side of the building though, not at the cafe. their dog has never been to this location. ours has...but of coarse at the cafe, not the side of the building. they met our dog many times. today was the very first time both of our dogs met each other. it didnt go as nicely as we wished....

before i continue, ide like to let everyone know my dog is not dog aggressive. he has leash frustration but thats about it. if he ever did manage to meet the dog, he would simply sniff, be content, move on. and his leash frustration has gotten MUCH BETTER. hes also been to basic obedience, been to dog parks. he has however been attacked by dogs at the dog park. but even prior to that incident, hes never been a dog park fan. he rather hang out with us. :)

so anyway, we let them meet on leash today. our dog immediately started to try and dominate by hovering his head over their dogs shoulder. we dont encourage this. we tell him "no" and remove him from the other dog. after letting them meet a bit more, suddenly a fight breaks out. we separate our dog with theirs. long story short, this is what we notice:

-their dog is extremely tense when ours smells him.
-our dog always starts the fight, their dog fights back
-our dog wont allow their dog to smell his butt. but ours insists on smelling their dogs butt!
-they have staring contest. we try to keep the line moving so they cant get too fixated with one another.
-other dog is not "strutting". he isnt standing up really straight and tall.

we decided to walk down the block. we ended up at a house where there was another dog. we let their dog greet the other dog. play bows and all the good stuff! we brought in our dog to meet this new dog behind the fence. everything good. it seemed to help break up the tension between the two but our dog would still not accept our friends dog. we decided to meet at the dog park. hoping the other dogs in the park would distract both of them from each other. the dog park was actually really good. their dog had a blast! hes never been to a dog park. our dog didnt pay soo much attention to our friends dog. but he of coarse isnt a fan of the dog park so he wanst havent that much fun. what was interesting however, was that he actually herded our friends dog back to our friend. our friend was off trying to get their dogs attention (first time at dog park, hard to get dog back haha) our dog saw that she was trying to get her dog back. he went over and actually herded him back to her. no growling or any type of aggression.

could it be that hes just "correcting" a puppy? we dont want to be responsible for another pair of stitches! they just got the dog! any thoughts on what we should do next time? or why this happened???

side note: their dog has never been to class (we keep telling them to take him! they probably will...but for now he hasnt been to classes.), we dont know any background on the dog (shelter dog, but seems like hes been someones pet before.), mixed breed?...not sure what he is. looks similar to the anatolian shepherd but for all we know, he could be a english mastiff/golden retriever mix!
 

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could it be that hes just "correcting" a puppy? we dont want to be responsible for another pair of stitches! they just got the dog! any thoughts on what we should do next time? or why this happened???
Based only on what you wrote, there was nothing for him to correct the puppy for. Stop forcing it. Some dogs just do not get along just like some people just do not get along.

I am not a fan of forced on leash meetings. There are so many things adding to the tension for dogs: being restrained by the leash, often being forced to meet face to face which is unnatural for dogs (and can be even be threatening).

Since you know your dog has leash frustration, I would stop introducing him to strange dogs on leash and leave leash interactions to dogs that you know he is comfortable with.

If it is very important for your dog and theirs to get a long, I would go on lots of walks together. Start of with the dogs on opposite sides (so the people are in the middle) and just walk and walk together. Let them sniff each other as they please but don't force it and obviously keep an eye on your dog for signs that he may go after their dog. The exercise and association of good things (walk and frequent treats while walking) may help them build up a positive association to each other but they may also never get along.
 

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I think our expectations of dogs are somewhat unrealistic. Often there can be a lot of posturing and hullaballoo initially, rarely is any blood shed. Then they sort it out and are fine buddies. This was fairly classic with a pair of dogs I knew -- charge up to meet new dogs of friends with much vocalization and bravado; then the recognition (Oh, you are so and so's new dog! Just understand we are the queen & princess here) and they were an integrated group. None of the humans tensed up over the initial turmoil and all was well.
 

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what was interesting however, was that he actually herded our friends dog back to our friend. our friend was off trying to get their dogs attention (first time at dog park, hard to get dog back haha) our dog saw that she was trying to get her dog back. he went over and actually herded him back to her. no growling or any type of aggression.
When your friend was callin for her dog, was her dog running/playing with another dog at the park at the time?
If so, it could be that he was "splitting" which is a calming technique that dogs do, if they are stressed and/or they are trying to calm down a rough play to make sure no fights come about etc....
I only just bought and watched a video called "calming signals: what your dog tells you" by turid rugaas. Its very interesting. this is just a clip:

 

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my dog has never reacted like he did to yesterday, to any other dog on leash before. meeting dogs on leash has actually helped relieve his frustration. he's generally fine with most dogs but yesterday, he was not having any of our new friends dog. we just want to figure out why their dog???? their dog wasnt being overly energetic, or obnoxious in any way. there was no "dominance" behavior like head over shoulder, humping coming from their dog either. all he wanted was to sniff my dogs butt. eventually he just wanted to stay away from my dog for obvious reasons. their dog would just get very tense when our dog would smell him. i watched the video about "calming signals", possibly their dog being overly tense cause the fight? as soon as my dog tries smelling him, their dog turns into a statue. doesnt seem to display any of the "calming signals" in the video.

in the dog park, no the pup wasnt playing with any dog. he was busy looking at all the new people and dogs. he near the entrance of the park. there were people leaving at the time and he was about to leave with them. so then my dog herded him away from the entrance and back to his owner.

we would love for them to be friends but if its not to be, then i guess that just kind of sucks. we can keep trying for now. we dont see them very often since they live some distance away so maybe we can restart the next time we see each other and hope for better results.
 

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I agree some dogs just do not get along with some dogs:)

I would tho, walk together, keep the dogs apart, and just WALK,,on leash of course, if your friends dog also just was neutered, he may still have a weird smell to him from the vets office, whatever,,

They may never be best friends or even friends, but taking a walk together, atleast gets them used to walking with another dog,,again keeping them separate ..
 
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