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So, its been just over a week since she left me. The feelings are getting less intense but I feel like im learning how to live again for the first time. I can say, this new life is clearly not as good as the old. I find myself asking questions I have never asked nor cared about the answers. Why was she sent to me? Why does god do this to us?



I had a conversation with the Vet Tech that saw her for her first visit as a pup, it helped. Sure, I did not give up on her because she got old, or infirm. She's still not freeking with me. The fact that they come with expiration dates "which we do not know" sucks to high heaven.



All her things are right where they were the day she left us, all her medications, her harnesses, bedding. I asked my wife not to move them. Her pictures are all over my kitchen "as they were when she was with us". She was such a huge part of my families life.



How do you move her things? When is it right?



No more anticipation of getting up in the morning and her being in the living room waiting, nor do I get the greeting at the car.



Im scared of death of forgetting the little things that will dissapear as time goes on. How she knew when I needed her and she would put her head against me. How she would sit while the baby read her a book. How she kept the other two in line.



I miss her like crazy.
 

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I, personally, don't tend to wallow for long. Our days are numbered and it is a waste of life. I do get it, though. It was a month before I cleaned the 'Puppy Under Glass' nose prints from the passenger window of my vehicle. But, there are GSD rescue groups begging for foster homes and transportation help, not getting them means a dog dies in the shelter, perfectly healthy. It's tragic. Why not reach out and offer your experience. Giving back in the name of Justice. It's a wonderful way to honor her life.
 

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As each day passes as you breath in...and breath out- life will get a little easier...During your day to day routine with family and work something will make you smile...maybe make you bust out and laugh...the guilt you'll feel for laughing (you'll feel as if you're disrespecting her memory by smiling or laughter) will overcome you like waves at the beach and knock you down....you'll come up crying many many times.


As days pass the bad feelings, memories and guilt will come on you less and less---they'll be replaced by good memories--happy times and the fun you and your family had with your girl......you don't believe that's true as you read this...but it will happen.


These dogs by nature hate to see us sad or unhappy....her last gift to you will be filling your heart with good memories....this isn't a fast or easy process but you will get there.....you asked about her leash-toys and her bed....the time will come when looking at or touching them will make you smile or laugh because of a particular memory of her....that's when you'll know what you need to do with them....when your heart is full of good memories you'll be able to wrap your brain around......why God does this FOR us
 

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and do yourself a favor, Write these posts each time you need to but for a season don't read anyone else's. I've done OK after awhile when each dog has passed but reading the pain in someone else tends to stir it up in me, too. That is good in a way. If there wasn't a legacy of good times we'd be relieved, not saddened. Give yourself a break. For awhile avoid the In Memory posts. Then later come back and help another through the process. It's what we do for each other.
 

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I lost my beautiful Wolfy at 1.5 years old due to auto immune issues. He was everything I had hoped for in a dog. He died in my arms at home and at that moment I wanted to go with him but that's not what life is about. I cried off and on for three full weeks and couldn't function very well. I felt that my life was always going to be this sad, that I would never get over this loss. Then one day I decided and told myself out loud that I had cried enough and that was the turn around point.
I made the conscious decision that I was going to get on with my life and that really helped. It still feels sad that I didn't see him grow old but this comes with having dogs. Life is unpredictable and so is death. It is the cycle of life.
If after some weeks, you still feel this way, you might look into grief counseling. You deserve happiness, your dog would have wanted this for you. Remember how she felt when you were sad? I believe that their bodies leave us but their spirit stays around. And who knows, maybe there is a Rainbow Bridge or the equivalent of it.
Make today a good day for yourself EPD
 

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Personally, when I had to have my boy put down at 12 years old I was crushed beyond belief (I still miss him and that was ten years ago). But, I resisted the urge to make my house into a shrine and almost immediately I donated all his toys, food and his bed to a local rescue except for his two favorites, a black Kong and a Nylasaur; both I still have on my shelf. For a couple of weeks, very night after dinner I would still go for a walk around the neighborhood, I wasn't quite ready to give up that connection. I've also had his collar and leash hanging by the door all this time even when I move to a new place. He was an 11th hour rescue and a few months after he died I started fostering dogs to pay all that joy he brought me forward. I now have a dog of my own and I just started using his leash with my new girl. I don't know why, but that makes me happy. Just go at your own pace.
 

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It’s been 3 years (this Monday) that I lost Sage. She had just turned 5. Her photo is my avatar on the forum, the background on my phone, and on my computer. Her collar is still hanging on the leash rack. I think about her all the time. To be fair though, I have a puppy from her litter sister, and I see quite a bit of Sage in her. So I do have a constant reminder.

It just takes time. That’s the bottom line. You’ll always love and miss your dog, but one day you’ll think of her, and smile and not be so sad.
 

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So, its been just over a week since she left me. The feelings are getting less intense but I feel like im learning how to live again for the first time. I can say, this new life is clearly not as good as the old. I find myself asking questions I have never asked nor cared about the answers. Why was she sent to me? Why does god do this to us?



I had a conversation with the Vet Tech that saw her for her first visit as a pup, it helped. Sure, I did not give up on her because she got old, or infirm. She's still not freeking with me. The fact that they come with expiration dates "which we do not know" sucks to high heaven.



All her things are right where they were the day she left us, all her medications, her harnesses, bedding. I asked my wife not to move them. Her pictures are all over my kitchen "as they were when she was with us". She was such a huge part of my families life.



How do you move her things? When is it right?



No more anticipation of getting up in the morning and her being in the living room waiting, nor do I get the greeting at the car.



Im scared of death of forgetting the little things that will dissapear as time goes on. How she knew when I needed her and she would put her head against me. How she would sit while the baby read her a book. How she kept the other two in line.



I miss her like crazy.
Sabi has been gone since 10/10/2013. I have moved 3 times since then. I still expect her to meet me at the door, I still expect her to be there beside me when I wake up. Her bed is still next to mine. I moved her dishes the day after she died, then I put them back the following day because it freaked me out that they weren't there. When I moved the first time I left her bed packed, for two days. Then I went and dug it out and put it next to me again. I have her collar sitting beside the urn that holds her ashes. Her leash is packed away, and I am keeping it. Buddy slept with her favorite ball until he died, then I threw it out. I gave his ball to a friends dog, but I still have his leash and collar.

I had friends get fairly insistent about me disposing of her things, I told them to take a hike. I miss her every day, but the pain has become an ache and I smile more then cry now. The Christmas stuff has little tufts of her fur in the bins and every year I pick them up and put them back with the bins, I am afraid that one year they will be gone.

Don't let anyone tell you how to grieve, it's your heart.

"The most painful tears are not the ones that fall from your eyes to cover your face, they are the ones that fall from your heart to cover your soul."
 
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