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(from another list)


YELLOW URKA-GURKAS

Dog runs around the house and hides under furniture while making a prolonged "uurka-guurka, uurka-guurka" noise (the only noise guaranteed to wake up a dog lover who is hungover from a 3:30am post-dog-show celebration). After a mad scramble to capture the dog and drag him outside, the episode ends with an indelible line of slimy yellow froth from the living room rug to the back door.


BLAP DISEASE

Dog exercises hard and

a) eats large mouthfuls of snow (winter blap disease) or

b) drinks a bucket of water (summer blap disease).

Within two minutes of returning inside the dog spews out large amounts of clear, slimy liquid, making a distinctive "blap" sound and sharp percussive noise as it hits the linoleum.


GARKS

Dog suddenly clears his throat with loud and dramatic "gggark, gggark" noises, followed by a prolonged "iiksss" and then loud, satisfied smacking noises. There is nothing on the rug. Don't investigate, you don't want to know.


RALFS

Apropos of nothing, the dog strolls into the dining room and waits 'til the innocent dinner guests are all watching him. Then, with a single deep gut-wrenching "raaaallff", disgorges the entire week's contents of his stomach on the rug. Variation: he eats it.


**In all of the above events, the dog is entirely healthy and indeed, deeply pleased with himself.
 

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We have GARKS quite often....and you're right, I don't want to know
 

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A couple weeks ago my husband and I both got food poisoning. As he was laying on the bathroom floor, afraid he couldn't make it any ways away from it, Tank came in and stood above him and (burped) a pile of dog food on his foot. Ha, Ha, bad enough he had to deal with his own vomiting, Tank had to add a little of his own.
 

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ROFLMAO - the urka-gurka could wake me from a dead sleep too. Morgan gets them every time she eats something too hot - for am intelligent dog, I don't get why she has to eat something that fell directly off the broiler pan!
 

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Too good!!

Cathy, I think that Tank tought "Are we feeding some puppies? I can contribute too!".
 

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People with dogs AND cats are entertained in even more ways. But with years of practice, we learn to jump up from a deep sleep, instantly recognize the perpetrator by the sound, grab them in the dark, and quickly move them to a more vomit friendly floor surface (off of carpet). Before that skill is perfected, or if we miss it, a squish is felt between the toes as we walk from the bed in the morning. I don't know why, but it's always between the toes. What a nice way to start the day!
 

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Urka Gurkas here and YES that sound can wake me from a dead sleep!


My clients lab likes to Blap...usually lake water in my Jeep.
 

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LMOL

My Lab gets the Urka Gurkas all the time. Fortunately we have all hardwood so it doesn't really matter where he goes. He does usually leave quite a trail though. I have never seen Kaper throw up.
 

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I tell you the 'URKA-GURKAS' sound in the middle of the night not only instantly wakes me but I swear I actually levitate vertically up to almost hit the ceiling on the way to chase down the offending dog in the attempt (almost always no good) to get the dog outside before it's to late (or off carpeting).
 

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Luckily my dogs are "trained"
not to puke in the house. If I am home and they "feel the need" I am lucky if I don't break my neck tripping over them as we BOTH race to the door with me yelling "GET OUT, GET OUT, GET OUT!!!! " Luckily they are hurrying as fast as I am, without having to be hauled out by the collar.
 

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Don't forget #5:

5) The foot-finder: The vomit that attracts bare feet like magnets. The kind that squishes between your toes in the middle of the night, usually after a shower. Slimy with occasional chunks for variety. The producer is usually always nearby after the foot-finding incident, wagging its tail as if to say, "Look, Master, I made it hot and fresh just for you!"

(Just read Tncurt's post after writing the above! Icky!)
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So next time I call in sick, I'm going to tell them I have the blaps, the garks, and the yellow urka-gurkas. They won't want to see me for a week!
 
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