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Started training both mine in Jan 2011... started really getting into it at some point, and started doing helperwork last year... Now I'm training other dogs many times a week. I was just thinking... since I started down the dog training path, I've been single. As the years tick by and another B-Day is rolling up fast (coupled with a few sarcastic comments here or there about the "dog thing") I'm wondering if these are related. Thoughts? All the "dog people" know who are in functional relationships have equally "dog-people" sig others...

Or does dating and finding people just get this much harder with age? I truly don't understand why I'm single and watching all my friends get married, have kids, etc...

("Stop looking and you'll find someone" and other such gems just frustrate me further btw lol. If a guy stops looking and trying, he dies alone lol)
 

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My husband is a dog person, but he isn't as involved with the training as I am. If I need him to do something with training he will, but he knows that I like to have it done a certain way and doesn't want to interfere with that.
 

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Started training both mine in Jan 2011... started really getting into it at some point, and started doing helperwork last year... Now I'm training other dogs many times a week. I was just thinking... since I started down the dog training path, I've been single. As the years tick by and another B-Day is rolling up fast (coupled with a few sarcastic comments here or there about the "dog thing") I'm wondering if these are related. Thoughts? All the "dog people" know who are in functional relationships have equally "dog-people" sig others...

Or does dating and finding people just get this much harder with age?

("Stop looking and you'll find someone" and other such gems just frustrate me further btw lol. If a guy stops looking and trying, he dies alone lol)


It does get harder with age. Plus it seems all free time is spent training(I'm the same way) and there really doesn't seem to be too many single ladies involved in that.

I was single for a long time. Honestly I was perfectly content being single and wasn't looking for anyone. Then a mutual friend introduced me to my GF. She was always an animal person but not to the same extent as me. She's a vet tech but other than your usual pet stuff wasn't into the training and competing. Our first date was to the schutzhund field:D. She has come to every training, demo and trial since. I then got her a dog and now she's better than me so be careful what you ask for haha.

Maybe it's time I make a trip to SC. I have some friends out that way and I have been wanting to work your dogs so....
 

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I think I do spend too much time with my animals. It's probably not healthy. lol

I think the older I get, the less patience I have with people. People exhaust me, I feel like at least animals are honest and don't have hidden agendas. I feel like a lot of people don't "get" me. Like friends who want to get together, but it's always a late night, and I have horses and responsibilities at home and have to be up really early. I just can't make myself stay up late, I hate the crowds at the bars, and I'm exhausted at the end of the day.

I also find, as you get older, you have more responsibilities. All day you are tied up at work. You get home and you have stuff to deal with there, and then you've got your hobbies (dog training), which usually means you're working with a group of people, but it's usually a small group, so you don't really meet too many new people, if you know what I mean?

I'm going to be a spinster with too many pets. :D Hopefully they will call 911 when I'm an old lady, if I fall and break a hip.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
It does get harder with age. Plus it seems all free time is spent training(I'm the same way) and there really doesn't seem to be too many single ladies involved in that.

I was single for a long time. Honestly I was perfectly content being single and wasn't looking for anyone. Then a mutual friend introduced me to my GF. She was always an animal person but not to the same extent as me. She's a vet tech but other than your usual pet stuff wasn't into the training and competing. Our first date was to the schutzhund field:D. She has come to every training, demo and trial since. I then got her a dog and now she's better than me so be careful what you ask for haha.

Maybe it's time I make a trip to SC. I have some friends out that way and I have been wanting to work your dogs so....
I've been content for a while, but its getting a bit lonely these days and its not that fun always being the single guy hanging with the couples lol. Before the dog thing I started a company so that ate up most of my time in my late 20's unfortunately... so now I'm very successful but no one to share it with lol. The disturbing thing is it has literally been years since I've met anyone that really sparked an interest.

You're welcome to visit whenever you like, however I encourage you to wait till the 100 degrees and 100% humidity has passed lol.
 

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Be happy in some ways that you’re a guy, the worst especially for females is the “now honey, don’t worry, you’ll get your day someday” at weddings! :rolleyes: Or holding a friends baby and all the older ladies are eyeing you with a knowing glance


I think when you spend as much time on a hobby (for lack of better terminology) like dog training or anything else then you need someone who is either just as passionate about the hobby or someone who at least understands the time required.

Passion is in the eyes of the beholder. I may never understand someone who is absolutely fascinated with model trains, spending hour after hour browsing shops, shopping online, and painting models? Not my cup of tea, but I'm not going to judge someone that loves it and say my passion makes more sense and is better

I love hanging out with dog people, they understand why most of the time I would rather talk together while going on a two hour walk with the dogs than sitting at a bar or restaurant for the same amount of time. They also don't roll their eyes if I spend 30 minutes talking about simply dog nutrition or training techniques. They understand why I can’t just go out at the drop of a hat at 4 PM and stay out until 2 AM

Relationships that work are give and take, there’s no such thing as perfection and there are good and bad days. There are days I’m completely happy I’m single and don’t have to worry about pleasing anyone but myself, if I want to stay home on a Saturday and lounge in PJ’s until 2 PM who cares lol But then there’s days when you are hanging out with happy couple and you’re the only single and you get the “well I have a friend” speech which makes my teeth grit. Or you get two tickets to something and all your friends already have plans and you have to show up alone

If you truly want to meet someone, it does take effort. Going online or out in person to different groups or social areas and talking with people. Most are duds, especially when you’re older and don’t fit in so well with the younger party crowd anymore but there are some great people out there
 

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My husband and I started dating when I was still in high school and I was VERY much into horses. He rode a little and loved animals, but was never as animal crazy as I was and still am. When I got my first dog (my mom never liked them, which has changed, so I was 19 before I convinced her to let me have a dog) she was a pet. Then the family got one, I got involved with competing, I got Tara (my first GSD) and that was the beginning of the end. LOL I had dogs and horses when we got married. Kevin loved the dogs, but I don't think he ever understood the obsession. He was also raised with "no dogs in the house" and would grumble about dog hair. He tried to tell me "no" each time I wanted to add a new dog, but he did support me. I got a few "your dogs" comments when I asked him for help, but then he drove all over the country with me to get puppies over the years. He saw me train once. He never saw me trial. He was very nice and went to the 2000 Nationals with me. Next to my mom he was always my biggest supporter.

IMO our SO or spouses need to be supportive of our hobbies, our passions, while we also are supportive of theirs. I do not need and probably do not want to get into a relationship with another dog competitor. I almost would rather find someone who does not have pets. LOL I do think that if you are in a relationship you also have to make time for the other person and that can be hard for single people who have pretty much given their entire lives over to their passion/hobby/sport.

I hate being single and miss being in a loving relationship and sharing my life with another person. Finding the right person was far easier when I was in my late teens than it is now at 51 (no, my age doesn't bother me).
 

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Discussion Starter #8
Be happy in some ways that you’re a guy, the worst especially for females is the “now honey, don’t worry, you’ll get your day someday” at weddings! :rolleyes: Or holding a friends baby and all the older ladies are eyeing you with a knowing glance


I think when you spend as much time on a hobby (for lack of better terminology) like dog training or anything else then you need someone who is either just as passionate about the hobby or someone who at least understands the time required.

Passion is in the eyes of the beholder. I may never understand someone who is absolutely fascinated with model trains, spending hour after hour browsing shops, shopping online, and painting models? Not my cup of tea, but I'm not going to judge someone that loves it and say my passion makes more sense and is better

I love hanging out with dog people, they understand why most of the time I would rather talk together while going on a two hour walk with the dogs than sitting at a bar or restaurant for the same amount of time. They also don't roll their eyes if I spend 30 minutes talking about simply dog nutrition or training techniques. They understand why I can’t just go out at the drop of a hat at 4 PM and stay out until 2 AM

Relationships that work are give and take, there’s no such thing as perfection and there are good and bad days. There are days I’m completely happy I’m single and don’t have to worry about pleasing anyone but myself, if I want to stay home on a Saturday and lounge in PJ’s until 2 PM who cares lol But then there’s days when you are hanging out with happy couple and you’re the only single and you get the “well I have a friend” speech which makes my teeth grit. Or you get two tickets to something and all your friends already have plans and you have to show up alone

If you truly want to meet someone, it does take effort. Going online or out in person to different groups or social areas and talking with people. Most are duds, especially when you’re older and don’t fit in so well with the younger party crowd anymore but there are some great people out there
OH guys get that too... and the worst part, particularly in the south, is all of the pursuit is squarely on the guy... if a guy doesn't try he will remain single. And most of the time unless you're brad pitt with an equal wit to match you will get rejected more often than not... and its hard to take repeated rejections without losing enthusiasm to keep trying lol.

The past year, it seems women have gotten flaky'er... done the online thing, had several "first dates" where the other party canceled hours before or even worse - the no-show that doesn't have the decency to even say via text "hey, I've changed my mind". I've even had about 3 women approach me in some capacity, either outright or through a mutual friend, to set up a date and then no show... which is the most frustrating of all as I'm like "WTF, you are the one who asked *me*".
 

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Discussion Starter #9
My husband and I started dating when I was still in high school and I was VERY much into horses. He rode a little and loved animals, but was never as animal crazy as I was and still am. When I got my first dog (my mom never liked them, which has changed, so I was 19 before I convinced her to let me have a dog) she was a pet. Then the family got one, I got involved with competing, I got Tara (my first GSD) and that was the beginning of the end. LOL I had dogs and horses when we got married. Kevin loved the dogs, but I don't think he ever understood the obsession. He was also raised with "no dogs in the house" and would grumble about dog hair. He tried to tell me "no" each time I wanted to add a new dog, but he did support me. I got a few "your dogs" comments when I asked him for help, but then he drove all over the country with me to get puppies over the years. He saw me train once. He never saw me trial. He was very nice and went to the 2000 Nationals with me. Next to my mom he was always my biggest supporter.

IMO our SO or spouses need to be supportive of our hobbies, our passions, while we also are supportive of theirs. I do not need and probably do not want to get into a relationship with another dog competitor. I almost would rather find someone who does not have pets. LOL I do think that if you are in a relationship you also have to make time for the other person and that can be hard for single people who have pretty much given their entire lives over to their passion/hobby/sport.

I hate being single and miss being in a loving relationship and sharing my life with another person. Finding the right person was far easier when I was in my late teens than it is now at 51 (no, my age doesn't bother me).
I've thought about that... most "no pets" people are clearly not able to understand me having dogs... lot of "Can't you just leave them outside and we can go to XYZ". But then most people that already have dogs... well I'd be above the city pet limits lol

I'm 33 and it seems that dating has gotten remarkably harder the post 30.
 

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Good post Shade :)

It's hard to find the right person. Especially if you're a quiet/shy person, who's busy with hobbies. And it's worse if you've been single for a while, because you tend to fill your life up with other things, or you'll end up just sitting in front of the TV all night.

hunter, I don't think it's just the women who've gotten flakier, I think it's just society in general has gotten flaky. We've forgotten that there are real people behind all the texts, BB's, emails etc. People don't seem to know how to be polite and decent to one another anymore. It's ok for people to change their minds or get cold feet, but there is no excuse to stand someone up, that is a really hurtful and ignorant thing to do.
 

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My husband is not at all interested in dog training. He puts up with me, and he enjoys Crookytail, but he thinks that competitive dog sports people are crazy. And he is probably right.

I've found that rescue is a good way to meet new people in the dog world. Training clubs tend to have a more or less static group of hardcore participants; beginner/puppy classes are a little more fluid, but a lot of those are one-and-done. Rescue, though, has a good mix of core volunteers, part-time volunteers, and a ton of involvement with the adopting public. One of the side effects of the burnout rate is that new people are always coming and going.

Particularly if you're on the training side, or are fostering a dog, it's very easy to strike up relationships with your students and adopters. So that might be one way to make new friends and, in the process, find someone who strikes sparks.
 

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My husband is not at all interested in dog training. He puts up with me, and he enjoys Crookytail, but he thinks that competitive dog sports people are crazy. And he is probably right.

I've found that rescue is a good way to meet new people in the dog world. Training clubs tend to have a more or less static group of hardcore participants; beginner/puppy classes are a little more fluid, but a lot of those are one-and-done. Rescue, though, has a good mix of core volunteers, part-time volunteers, and a ton of involvement with the adopting public. One of the side effects of the burnout rate is that new people are always coming and going.

Particularly if you're on the training side, or are fostering a dog, it's very easy to strike up relationships with your students and adopters. So that might be one way to make new friends and, in the process, find someone who strikes sparks.
Lol I fostered a dog, he got adopted by the first people I introduced him too, and old married couple
 

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OH guys get that too... and the worst part, particularly in the south, is all of the pursuit is squarely on the guy... if a guy doesn't try he will remain single. And most of the time unless you're brad pitt with an equal wit to match you will get rejected more often than not... and its hard to take repeated rejections without losing enthusiasm to keep trying lol.

The past year, it seems women have gotten flaky'er... done the online thing, had several "first dates" where the other party canceled hours before or even worse - the no-show that doesn't have the decency to even say via text "hey, I've changed my mind". I've even had about 3 women approach me in some capacity, either outright or through a mutual friend, to set up a date and then no show... which is the most frustrating of all as I'm like "WTF, you are the one who asked *me*".
I'm not trying to downplay that guys don't get razzed too, I think older women are just more open about critizing the younger generation.

Oh yes, I've noticed the big trend going back and forth between the man is supposed to make the first move and now the woman should be making all the decisions. I've never been one to always go with the daily trend lol We've swung from one extreme where the man is "the man of the household" to now the woman runs the household outright and if you listen to your husband you're repressed.

Wow, I understand last cancellations if absolutely needed but just to not show up is so disrespectful.

I've had good and bad experiences with the online dating. It's helpful to weed out people outright, but it's no guarantee there are any winners and it's not cheap to keep paying for a service which may never work out.

Personally, if I'm interested in someone I'll show interest. Make a effort to talk, invite for coffee, etc but when it comes to something serious I prefer the guy to take the lead. So many women I know are the leader in the relationship and that won't fly by me, it's an equal partnership not a dictatorship on either end.

Some of the best people I've met have been total randoms. You never know who and when you're going to meet at the strangest places, it's hard not to get discouraged but don't give up because of a few bad eggs.

Whenever I get really discouraged I remember Natasha Bedingfield's lyrics asking how many frogs she has to kiss before her prince comes along. It reminds me to keep smiling and there are plently of fish in the sea
 

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Good post Shade :)

It's hard to find the right person. Especially if you're a quiet/shy person, who's busy with hobbies. And it's worse if you've been single for a while, because you tend to fill your life up with other things, or you'll end up just sitting in front of the TV all night.

hunter, I don't think it's just the women who've gotten flakier, I think it's just society in general has gotten flaky. We've forgotten that there are real people behind all the texts, BB's, emails etc. People don't seem to know how to be polite and decent to one another anymore. It's ok for people to change their minds or get cold feet, but there is no excuse to stand someone up, that is a really hurtful and ignorant thing to do.
I agree, our culture is getting more and more "pay me now, I'll do the work later (maybe)"... and no one seems to be willing to put any effort into anything lol. Its like people will end a marriage over someone changing their hair cut.

I've watched several friends marriages disintegrate b/c both parties dug in their feet and demanded the other person to change to suit them. Its like everyone 35 and under these days is spoiled 10 year old
 

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I'm not trying to downplay that guys don't get razzed too, I think older women are just more open about critizing the younger generation.
Yeah and telling us our eggs are going to be coming down on walkers if we don't hurry up. lol :rolleyes:

I agree that people just don't want to put the work in anymore, not on anything! We live in a disposable society! :crazy:
 

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yeah and telling us our eggs are going to be coming down on walkers if we don't hurry up. lol :rolleyes:

I agree that people just don't want to put the work in anymore, not on anything! We live in a disposable society! :crazy:
:rofl: on the bolded, I call it a "Mrs. Bennett" from Pride and Prejudice! :D The lady who played her on the BBC version was fantastic

Absolutely, it's a "what's in it for me" society now :(
 

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Do u mind if I ask how old you are? I didn't get marry till close to 40 and it was a blessing. By then I knew exactly who I was and who my husband was. We got married because we loved each other exactly the way we are. So many of my friends who got married in their 20s are already divorced. It is VERY hard to date, but you need to make an effort and find a group of people you can hang with similar interests. I agree the bar scene sucks. If your friends only want to go out late, why don't u suggest happy hour. It is not about finding someone at bar, but just about being social. The more time you spend alone the easier it is to stay home and isolate yourself. Are there any dog clubs or parks around you? Do u attend religious services? They usually have social events... Hang in there. It is never to late;)


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Lol I fostered a dog, he got adopted by the first people I introduced him too, and old married couple
My first foster dog got adopted by a middle-aged couple. Second one went to an elderly couple.

Since then, I'd say about 3/4 of them have gone to people in committed relationships and 1/4 have gone to single women (with one single guy adopter just to mix things up). But most of the couples have been around my age (late 20s/early 30s) and they've all kept in touch and so it's definitely been a way to broaden social circles.

Meeting people is a numbers game. You have to make contacts to make more contacts. And, honestly, I would feel a little weird about trying to date a student or an adopter directly; I'd feel a lot more comfortable if that just developed into a friendship and then they were the ones to suggest single friends who might also be looking. Better to have a little bit of a buffer in case things don't work out, IMO. But that may just be me.
 

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Do u mind if I ask how old you are? I didn't get marry till close to 40 and it was a blessing. By then I knew exactly who I was and who my husband was. We got married because we loved each other exactly the way we are. So many of my friends who got married in their 20s are already divorced. It is VERY hard to date, but you need to make an effort and find a group of people you can hang with similar interests. I agree the bar scene sucks. If your friends only want to go out late, why don't u suggest happy hour. It is not about finding someone at bar, but just about being social. The more time you spend alone the easier it is to stay home and isolate yourself. Are there any dog clubs or parks around you? Do u attend religious services? They usually have social events... Hang in there. It is never to late;)


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Oh I'm quite social, don't get me wrong there... Its not for lack of exposure to single women, just most are not attractive to me for some of the reasons already mentioned, and when I am attracted its often a very flaky discouraging experience. A good friend just got broken up with my his gf of 6 months who I actually really liked (as a person) via txt... lost a lot of respect for her on that one. sort of hurt my hopes there was another "her" around here somewhere as she turned out to be just like the rest lol.

I have a strong desire to have kids which is where the pressure has really started to increase. I have a friend who is a bit older than me that said "screw it" and met online and just married a girl from China and brought her over lol. So I know I'm not the only one that is getting fed up with the dating scene here I guess lol.
 

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I hope he got a good prenup.... Have an acquaintance who did the same thing and the minute she had her citizenship and child (for support) she fell out of love. Amazing how that happens. Lol I know how hard it can be. I keep wishing my bro would meet someone. At the same time, I have a lot of friends who are great smart educated girls who can't find a good guy. I think there are good people on both sides, but it is just hard for people to connect now a days. Just keep a positive attitude and keep your heart open...


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