German Shepherds Forum banner

1 - 20 of 25 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
831 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
So my boyfriend has this friend who is one of those people that thinks all animals love him. Which is fine, whatever, but he purposely does things I have asked him not to do with my dogs.

Eko does love him, big shock, he loves everyone, but my big issue is that he "makes out" with him. He lets Eko lick the inside of his mouth for minutes at a time and it's really loud and sloppy and disgusting.... it makes everyone uncomfortable and I have asked him to stop but he does it anyway. I almost feel he does it to spite me. He also calls Eko like seconds after I've called him and clings to him the whole time he's there. Whatever, Eko is fine with it, it irks me but I just deal with it since he's my boyfriend's friend and I don't want to start anything.

But yesterday, he picked up my new ABPT puppy without asking and put her in his lap. Xena is EXTREMELY fearful of people and hasn't even really warmed up to our roommates yet, she JUST got used to my boyfriend after a week. I told him this the first time he came over after we got her. I was so mad I yelled at him and he just gave me this look like I was stupid and said, "Well she looks fine, she's not snapping at me or trying to get away." She was PETRIFIED, shaking like a leaf and just drooling nonstop, she wasn't not trying to get away she couldn't move! I took her from him and put her away, he has completely set back her training I had gotten her to a point where she would approach strangers after a while instead of just hiding behind me quivering til they left, now when someone comes over she bolts from the room.

I have to start from square one now because this jerk thinks he knows more than me about MY dogs. Now I'm just considering putting the dogs in the crate every time he comes over, I hate to do that to them but I don't know what else to do. :mad:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
19,157 Posts
Putting them safely in crates sounds like the best thing since the fool obviously has zero respect for your authority regarding your animals. I get downright nasty if people dont respect my wishes in MY home regarding my kids or my animals. They get one chance to play by the rules and then they are removed from my home until they can listen and are invited back in which is usually not going to happen. Get mean if you have to. Your animals, your rules.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
766 Posts
Have you talked to your boyfriend about how this irritates you and make you uncomfortable? They are your dogs and your feelings/concerns. He should be made aware of the situation or it could escalate. :) Communication is definitely key, just be careful to not attack the friend whilst discussing his behavior with your boyfriend. Just let him know and maybe he can talk to his friend and get him to understand where you're coming from. I let my husband know if he does something with the dog that makes me uncomfortable and have no issue throwing out even friends if they hurt my pup. My best friend's boyfriend decided sliding my dog *pretty hard* into the front door was hilarious and he got the boot, I would have stopped him before that happened if I wasn't busy in a different room. We're all still okay and I think he'll never touch my dog again :smirk: People get watched very carefully when they are around my dog now.

So yeah, communication! It is very important! Or see if when you guys hang out it can be at a place where your animals aren't :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
831 Posts
Discussion Starter #4
I would stop him from coming over and my boyfriend knows I don't want him over anymore so his solution was to invite him over when I go to work overnight. Doesn't solve anything, just makes me stress out about what he's doing to my animals while I'm trying to work. I have gotten mean before, even other friends have made some rude comments, he just ignores us. Crates are my last option, and if he has to come over then he will not have access to my animals anymore. I am sick of being disrespected in my own house!

I have talked to my boyfriend about it, he just agrees with me and shrugs, says that's the way he is not much to do about it. I would have us meet somewhere else if he would actually give us notice before coming over, 9 times out of 10 he just shows up. -_-
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
19,157 Posts
I would stop him from coming over and my boyfriend knows I don't want him over anymore so his solution was to invite him over when I go to work overnight. Doesn't solve anything, just makes me stress out about what he's doing to my animals while I'm trying to work. I have gotten mean before, even other friends have made some rude comments, he just ignores us. Crates are my last option, and if he has to come over then he will not have access to my animals anymore. I am sick of being disrespected in my own house!

I have talked to my boyfriend about it, he just agrees with me and shrugs, says that's the way he is not much to do about it. I would have us meet somewhere else if he would actually give us notice before coming over, 9 times out of 10 he just shows up. -_-
This right here... when you're kids, this is fine and all fun but when you're an adult it's rude. Your boyfriend needs to respect your decisions which would include the bonehead not being at the house if you're not there.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
766 Posts
I agree with KZoppa. There definitely is a point in there where enough is enough. I'm sorry you are going through this. If crating them is the only way to keep them safe from the jerk then do it. I sadly put animals above humans sometimes and my animals safety is more important than any disrespectful guys feelings.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
831 Posts
Discussion Starter #7
This right here... when you're kids, this is fine and all fun but when you're an adult it's rude. Your boyfriend needs to respect your decisions which would include the bonehead not being at the house if you're not there.
I agree! Incredibly rude!! I told him that but he said I can't stop him from being social and having friends over... like I am trying to keep him all to myself. :rolleyes: It's just this ONE person, who irritates the heck out of me, our roommates, our other guests, and even my boyfriend sometimes - I just don't get why he even wants to hang out with this guy. So I just told him if he HAS to come over then the dogs are going in the crate... period. He said that would be rude and he would be able to tell we are doing it because of him and I said good! I'll even tell him myself! I said what about Xena, she was practically traumatized because he doesn't listen, so that is the only way he can come over anymore without me having a huge fit and throwing him out so my boyfriend has agreed. It's ridiculous it even has to come to this point! :mad::mad::mad:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
831 Posts
Discussion Starter #8
I agree with KZoppa. There definitely is a point in there where enough is enough. I'm sorry you are going through this. If crating them is the only way to keep them safe from the jerk then do it. I sadly put animals above humans sometimes and my animals safety is more important than any disrespectful guys feelings.
I think so too, my dogs depend on me to take care of them they can't tell this guy to leave them alone and he won't let them get away from him so I have to solve it once and for all.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
15,195 Posts
definitely crate the dogs when he visits. maybe put the
crate/crates in another room with the door to the closed
when he's there.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,699 Posts
try to compromise with the boyfriend - I don't care if he comes over, just crate the dogs and leave them in the other room. That way, he isn't put in the middle between you and his friend and the dogs will be safe.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
9,796 Posts
It sounds to me like you should seriously evaluate your relationship with your boyfriend since he apparently has so little respect for you and your feelings. If he wants to sneak his friend into your home while you're at work I suggest that you find a new boyfriend and another place to live.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
363 Posts
I think crating them when he comes over sounds like a good idea.

These are your dogs, not his, and if he can't respect your wishes in regards to handling the dogs, then he loses the privledge of being able to interact with them. It's that simple.

(And, by the way, his allowing the dog to lick *in* his mouth and the visual I got from that is disgusting. I love my dogs, I know they're clean, but I'll be darned if I'm letting them to give me wet, noisy mouth to mouth kisses. :sick:)
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
363 Posts
As far as the boyfriend is concerned.... your relationship with him is not for any one here to really judge. If you live together, your home is his home, and within respectable levels, he's allowed to decided who comes and goes. And when I say "within respectable levels" I mean, just as you would take his wishes into account, he should do the same for you. But we don't know your schedule, why he'd be home and inviting friends over when you're not there, and that sort of thing. But it's him home, too. So, like others have suggested, if the boyfriend can't grow a pair (sorry to be so blunt) and tell HIS friend that he needs to back off the dogs, then they should be crated, in a different room, when that friend is over. That's not too much to ask, and it puts the boyfriend in the position of not having to stand up to his friend for disobeying the house rules.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
831 Posts
Discussion Starter #16 (Edited)
Thanks guys glad to know I'm not being unreasonable about this. :) We talked it over and I will be crating them in the bedroom when he comes over from now on to keep everyone happy. And I agree, the kisses are absolutely disgusting I haven't had anyone over who was ok with seeing it. :/
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
21,368 Posts
well I would let Eko smooze all over him and next time, after he's done, I'd say,,"did eko's breath smell? Because I just saw him eat a huge pile of dog poop before you got here" :)))
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
831 Posts
Discussion Starter #18
We've tried that!! We've told him Eko just ate ****, or was licking his butt, or was licking his junk, and he just laughs and does it anyway like he thinks I'm kidding! I'm not!! Lol
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
766 Posts
yea that guys a jackass and some boundaries REALLY need to be set or he shouldnt be around your dogs.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
831 Posts
Discussion Starter #20
I agree he's already been asked to stop and he won't so dogs go in the crate when he's here. Someone just told me it was my fault Xena went back in her training because I got so upset and I should have just let him pet her so she would have to get used to it. I think that's wrong, I don't think I should put her through so much stress just to make her get over it, treats are working just fine. :mad:
 
1 - 20 of 25 Posts
Top