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Discussion Starter #1
Rest in Peace my beautiful boy, you were my heart, my healer and my angel.
Ghost was 7 weeks when we brought him home and he died at 10 1/2 months old.
I have spent the last week, furiously writing down everything, all the great things, all the puppy things, between bouts of uncontrollable crying and sadness, just so I don't forget anything, what it amounts to is pages and pages of mostly crazy stuff because Ghost was a great puppy but terrible all the same, typical GSD and so unlike any dog we have ever had. We loved him beyond reason and spoiled him rotten and thank goodness we did, I have no regrets in that regard, he was a wonderful boy with a giant personality. I miss him so much, I can't bear to put away his things or vacuum his hair off the floor and I am completely at a loss. He was just a baby, we are devastated. This is last picture I took of my Ghosty about a week before he died.
Ghost 10/11/15 to 08/20/16
 

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So sorry about your loss. RIP Ghost, run free! Such a beautiful dog!
 

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Discussion Starter #11
May I ask why he died so young? Im so sorry for your loss.
Thanks.
There is a whole other thread I started about what happened even though I am not quite sure myself. I go from thinking we did what we had to for him, to thinking there should have been something else that we could have done, to it was my fault for letting them give him the rabies shot at the same time as being neutered to wishing I had not followed the vet's advise in getting him neutered at 8 months, to just being so sad that he isn't here anymore.
 

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Thanks.
There is a whole other thread I started about what happened even though I am not quite sure myself. I go from thinking we did what we had to for him, to thinking there should have been something else that we could have done, to it was my fault for letting them give him the rabies shot at the same time as being neutered to wishing I had not followed the vet's advise in getting him neutered at 8 months, to just being so sad that he isn't here anymore.
Guilt is only helpful so long as it helps us not to repeat mistakes. Otherwise, it can be a destructive force, though perfectly natural in the grieving process. If it drives you to look up health concerns in the breed and be more informed, so that other dogs you might have might benefit from that, than it has served a purpose.

But you gave your dog a good life, and did everything in your power to save your puppy. On the advice of a vet, you took him to a farther vet, in hopes of getting a better outcome. It simply did not work out that way. Very sad. Whatever you did, you would be feeling guilty about it at this point. Sometimes, we have to just accept the entirety of a situation, and maybe give it to God. We only see a piece of the puzzle that is life. We maybe see those pieces that surround us, and maybe not even all of those pieces from where we are sitting, in the middle of the picture. I believe there is a plan in life. I don't believe that every critter or every human that dies does so by the will of God. But I think that even death can cause some good to come to be, like for instance, the group of mothers who have worked tirelessly to get lights and bars and railroad crossings. The deaths of a few young people ended up saving the lives of many, many people.

I'm sorry. Try to let go of the guilt. And try not to let it morph into blaming others, because that won't make you feel better either. Everyone needs to hug their dogs (and people) every day, and tell them how special they are. Because life is fleeting, and tomorrow is not promised.
 

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Discussion Starter #13
Thanks Selzer, I think the guilt comes in waves and in my head I know it's normal.

We were so careful with Ghost, with everything, his food, training, socialization, probably over careful since I lost my big old poodle at almost 11 y/o last October and my bulldog in January at 5 1/2, (about two months after he had a full round of booster shots), it's been a real **** year to be honest. But then my husband reminds me that every other dog or cat we have owned and loved has had these shots with no effect that we know of with no knowledge or thought other than we had to do it because it was the law, even the stupid feral cats that I feed were fixed at 7 weeks and given rabies and other shots to no effect, I still feed them 5/6 years later, the ones that haven't gotten run over by cars.

I would like to blame someone, since I am angry...angry he didn't get to live to be 10, 11 or 12 like he was supposed to, I am sad that my baby isn't here to hold/bite my leg or slobber on me or coat my legs with hair or go for a walk or share my banana or help me put groceries away by stealing them out of the cupboard or be in every single thing I am doing and in the way all the time. Yes, I realize this is normal, it's just quiet and lonely and clean and there isn't food, water and hair all over the floor other than what I can't bring myself to vacuum up yet.
It's still early in the grieving process and I will beat myself up for a while, I loved him beyond everything. And then maybe it was nothing we could have prevented at all, maybe he was just here for that moment in time to love and spoil but it doesn't make it better.

I know every person here understands this.....I have been through this what seems like countless times and yet the pain is still the same, it's always hard and even more so when they are heart dogs and even more so when it is not expected in any way. Ghost was my first GSD and even though my husband swore he would be the last (oh he was such a terrible puppy but had just started growing up) I am planning on another, hopefully someday soon.
 
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