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I read that entire thread by Charlie's Mom 82 about toddlers and an aggressive dog.

Are there people who have raised new born babies with adult dogs that aren't socialized, or are unstable, around kids?

From what I understand, there were two views: one being that the child comes first and that the dog should be rehomed (something along that lines) and the other being that the baby/child should be controlled, monitored and not allowed interact much with the dog...fine

I don't want kids but at some point, most likely real soon, I probably will. What I don't understand is, is this a choice between keeping the dog(s) vs. not having kids if you know the two will be a problem together? It's a little unfair to the dog(s) if you have a baby but it's unfair to the family if you don't...

How do you manage walking two pulling dogs with a baby/stroller? I don't see a pretty picture doing that. How do you manage your time? I already feel so overwhelmed with 2 dogs and 6 cats I don't know how adding a baby into the mix will work for us. Plus the anxiety and the depression it seems like a bad time. But is there ever a good time for a baby? Seems like you just gotta jump in and see what happens, right?

Insight please?
 

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Zeeva, one of our neighbors recently had a baby and the parents also have a bulldog.
The bulldog is a smaller one and seemed mellow and mild mannered. But the parents were very serious about their future child's safety. As soon as they found out they were pregnant, they sought out a dog trainer, who happened to be the same trainer we use. They did a lot of private lessons and group lessons on issues they felt were important, even walking properly so the dog would not pull when mom was pushing the stroller. Like many things in life, things can be worked out with planning, hard work and commitment.
 

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I don't know how you would have an unstable dog and a baby/babies - and as a new dog owner, take what I suggest with a grain of salt - I'm sure someone who's been there, done that will chime in soon. I do think the child comes first, but that's why a commitment to a dog has to be thought out. If you have children already, can you also handle the time and energy commitment of raising a dog? If you are bringing a dog into a family with children already present, can you choose an older, trained dog that will require less work if you don't have the time? If you do want a puppy, be prepared. It's like having another child in the house.

I think any dog needs lots of training, but especially one that's expected to be around children. When I found out that we were expecting, the first thing that popped into my head was that I needed to up Fleury's training. I would expect him to not pull on leash so that I could manage a stroller and him. He walks ok now, but we would train a good, solid heel so that he could be managed more easily on walks. He still mouths us lightly, but we would have to be more vigilant on getting that to stop. Not that Fleury's unstable around kids, but he does like to jump, etc which would need worked on. If you have a dog that is unstable around kids, I think it would need to be worked on before you had the baby to see if it could be managed/ how hard it would be to manage. I think it's good you have 9 months to work on whatever issues the dogs may present - upping their socialization to children, reinforcing basic obedience, etc. I'd suggest if you are planning to have kids, why wait? Start training/socializing now to children so that more progress will have been made when children come into the picture.

I think the final decision rests on what exactly the particular issues with the dog are.
 

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Zeeva do you have ongoing appointments with a mental health therapist.

My wife is a MH therapist and I know she would advise you to see one. So am I advising that.

These things all grouped together really can't be addressed online.

Some adult dogs do well with babies and some don't.
Trying to control two dogs with a baby will be a challenge to say the least.
Especially with anxiety and depression issues.

It's not my place to go against your family or their beliefs or wishes but my personal belief is that you don't have children to fill someone else's need.
 

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PLEASE don't have children if you don't want them. I know your mom is pressuring you to have children, but having children when you don't want them will ruin your life and destroy your mental health even further. You already suffer from depression and recently tried to commit suicide. Having children you don't want is going to make those feelings worse.

And it's not fair to the children to be used just to appease your mother. She won't be around as long as they will. And any mother that would sacrifice her daughter's mental health just so she could have grand children is not a mother you should be trying to appease. That's the kind of mother you cut out of your life.

I'm honestly begging you: don't have children right now. It will destroy you. Please wait until you are mentally in a better place.
 

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Zeeva, I've always tried to be supportive of you but, as they stated above, don't burden yourself with more anxiety and worry then you already have. Forget what your mother wants, what do YOU want.
 

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The right time to have children is when you are emotionally stable.
Children are 100 times harder to deal with than dogs.
 

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Are there people who have raised new born babies with adult dogs that aren't socialized, or are unstable, around kids?

From what I understand, there were two views: one being that the child comes first and that the dog should be rehomed (something along that lines) and the other being that the baby/child should be controlled, monitored and not allowed interact much with the dog...fine
I will be. My husband and I are expecting our first in early August. My 2 year old GSD, Holly, is historically NOT good with kids.

We've talked a lot about it and Holly is important to us and we made a commitment to her; she is not adoptable since she is also not great with strangers or other dogs. The situation will be very closely managed and we are well aware that we may have to make a very difficult decision in the future because the child does come first and we are realistic about Holly's instability.

None of the dogs in the house, even the two that are good with kids, will be left along with the baby ever. Gates, crates and ex-pens will be used to supervise interactions and our son will be taught very early on to behave with dogs or he will not be allowed to interact with the dogs if he can't. I love my dogs too and they deserve to have their space and home respected and that doesn't change because I chose to have kids.

I don't want kids but at some point, most likely real soon, I probably will. What I don't understand is, is this a choice between keeping the dog(s) vs. not having kids if you know the two will be a problem together? It's a little unfair to the dog(s) if you have a baby but it's unfair to the family if you don't...

How do you manage walking two pulling dogs with a baby/stroller? I don't see a pretty picture doing that. How do you manage your time? I already feel so overwhelmed with 2 dogs and 6 cats I don't know how adding a baby into the mix will work for us. Plus the anxiety and the depression it seems like a bad time. But is there ever a good time for a baby? Seems like you just gotta jump in and see what happens, right?

Insight please?
I know everyone else has zeroed in on this part of your post. All I will say is if you don't want kids, don't have them. You will end up resenting the people who pressured you to and possibly even the kids. For those who want both kids and dogs, it's not difficult to make the time for everything and to make it work. If you are overwhelmed already, it's time to re-evaluate your life. It's not supposed to be overwhelming and hard all the time.
 

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I echo everyone else. Please don't have babies just because your family wants you to. I know what it's like to get pressured by family to have a baby, but my Husband and I couldn't be happier being the best Aunt and Uncle to our nieces and nephews and being awesome "parents" to our "fur kids". I'm sorry that you are going through a rough time mentally. Many, many hugs to you.
 

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Absolutely do not have a child until YOU want one. My in laws put constant pressure on us to have a child. I waited until I knew I was ready. After all, it is me that is going to be taking care of the child! Then they put pressure on us to have a second one quickly, as they felt it was better for the kids to be close in age. Nope to that one too. I waited 5 1/2 yrs between kids because that was what was right for me. And I have never regretted it.
As to dogs....When my first son was born we had a 9 yr old GSD. She had been our baby up till then. We really were worried about how she would be. For us, all turned out well. She never was aggressive to our son in any way. But we spent a lot of time training both dog and child how to interact and carefully monitored all interactions. And to this day, I don't ever feel comfortable leaving a small child with any dog!
 

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I don't have kids, but none the less it doesn't matter what breed dog or even with a perfect temperment you have to take precautions with a baby. Just like when I brought that kitten home, it was my responsibility to protect him from my dog that seriously wanted to bite him. As well as I had to teach the kitty to be aware of the dogs.
 

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I think the biggest thing you have to accept if you have kids and unstable dogs, is that the dog is going to be much more sheltered and restricted than it already is. When my cousins are around, my dog is on a leash (even inside) and he's actually good with kids, but he can get excited and I just don't want anything to happen.

You're really good at giving your dogs human feelings...but don't. They don't care. My dog doesn't care one bit if he's forced to be 6 feet away from me chewing a bone, or if he can chew the bone wherever he wants...he's just happy he has a bone to chew. If I don't want to deal with him at a larger gathering...I bring a crate...and when I'm tired of having him tethered to me...he goes in the crate for a few hours to give me a break. He gets a nap, I get to relax and enjoy myself without worrying about the dog, and he still loves me the moment I let him out of the crate. And I'm talking about a very stable dog that is beautifully aloof and very good with everyone. His only issue is that he can get very excited and play a little too rough.

I don't have kids yet, and my dog is like my child, but the moment a baby is in the house, he's going to get knocked down a peg. I don't have to worry about pulling or bad behavior though as I've already taken care of that through training. But IMO a dog will get a shock to their world when a baby enters the picture, but they will get over it quite quickly. They'll adapt, they'll live their "new" life just as happily as their old one.

Always remember...our dogs have it 100 times better than most.
 

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I know we are from very very different backgrounds.... but, like you, I don't want kids. My family respects that. There is NOTHING wrong with not wanting children. Period! That is absolutely a personal choice... and a very very important one.

However, there IS something wrong with having children when you don't want them. Other people have touched in on what that could do to you and how that's really not good for your mother to be doing this.... but what about those children? What a horrible horrible way to be raised.... with a mother that did not want you. They could end up with serious mental health issues because of this. That's not fair. Children are not a choice to take lightly.... you think the dogs are difficult?! Oh goodness... children bring WAY more stress and anxiety. You have to not only be able to handle that.. but you have to WANT it. Truly want it.... not just to make someone else happy.

I really like you, and I promise I did not post this to attack you.... but, with all the posts you've had lately, I just don't think this is the time for you OR the dogs. I really think seeing someone to talk about this will be best. Maybe they can put some sense and reality in this for you without bias opinions or even knowing your family. I really worry you're going to make some bad decisions for yourself.

About the dogs.... it's really not going to be clear until a baby is there. Some dogs can handle that, some dogs can't. Zira is good around kids, just a bit rough with her weight, Storm needs to grow up a bit but she's great with kids too (Just way too hyper)... However, Duke can NOT be around children. He wasn't socialized with them before I got him, and he just can't handle how they move, their energy, and their actions. They just freak him out. Back in the days though, we had a dog that had never seen a child.... my sister started babysitting when the dog was an adult, and that dog ended up LOVING having the kids over. So it can happen, but you have to socialize and you have to really understand your dogs signs and emotions. If not.... well... the child is human and you brought them on this earth, they come first. Rehoming the dogs may need to happen in that case.
 

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I wouldn't be in any hurry to have kids, especially due to pressure from family. I waited until I was 34 for my first kid. He was/is an easy baby/child and my dogs at the time, a somewhat onery Labrador, a beagle and a malamute were great with him. They only had basic obedience training, little exposure to kids, and none at all to babies. My second child was/is a handful. Hip dysplasia, surgeries, ADHD, etc.. Very demanding of our time. I love her with all my heart and wouldn't change a thing about her. I guess my point, like dogs, every kid is different and so are their demands, just something else to consider.
 

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Discussion Starter #15
I hate to resurrect this thread but I don't want to start a new one.

What type of training do you do with a trainer or by yourself to prepare an unstable dog for a new baby??? "Leave it" is all I could really think of...
 

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I feel like one shouldn't have children if they don't want them, but that aside here is what I think. My girl, when I first got her, didn't like kids. She wasn't mean to them, in fact she was kinda curious about them, but they scared her to a point where I wasn't sure if she was backed into a corner what she would do (I now know the answer is nothing. She's a sweetie who has come to.....not love...but like or tolerate kids to a very very good degree), so I had decided that if that did not change that I just wasn't going to have kids in her lifetime, and when she passed, if I wanted to have a dog as well as kids (which I of course did) that I would get a dog that was stable and proven with kids. I knew my only other option would be to give her to my mom because it wouldn't be fair (in my opinion) to only have her around me when I could get away from my kid, and though I love Sasha with all my heart, human trumps dog. I didn't want to give her up because she is my heart, so I just knew if she couldn't handle kids that I just couldn't have kids until she passed. I now know that she could handle a kid and if I wanted (though certainly at the moment I do not) I could have kids and not worry about a bite, but if that wasn't true I couldn't do it. Too much of a recipe for a disaster and heartbreak.
 

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I hate to resurrect this thread but I don't want to start a new one.

What type of training do you do with a trainer or by yourself to prepare an unstable dog for a new baby??? "Leave it" is all I could really think of...

Sorry, just saw this was an old thread. I don't know if you're pregnant already or if you're just planning on it (I'm not on here too much anymore), but if you're already pregnant, I would recommend finding a trainer who is accustom to unstable (not just under-trained) dogs and ask for their advice if you're set on keeping an unstable dog and a baby in the same environment. I don't think it's the best of ideas, but from what I remember about your situation you don't have many family members that could take your dogs, and I know, if that's the case, that you love them too much to just give them to a stranger, so I guess it's about attempting to make the best of a less than ideal situation. Long story short, find a really experienced trainer and ask for specific advise, about your dog's specific issues, and try to move forward based on that and common sense.
 

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Hi Zeeva,

In an earlier thread, I left you instructions on how to get started training your dog.

Do what it tells you, and in 3-4 months time you will have a dog that you can take off leash anywhere, under any conditions and never have any problem whatever(well, from the dogs---people on the other hand.........)

I guarantee you that if you have children later on, there will come a day when you look at the leash and training collar and thinking to yourself........."Well, it worked really well on the dogs, hummmm.......
{LOL, I'm just kidding you a little there----but the truth is, there is NO better way to prepare to become a parent that the lessons you learn training dogs. You learn discipline and self control, how to be firm and get good behavior without being harsh or cruel. You learn how to make work and learning fun, for both of you. Good things to know with dogs and children.

Train your dog this summer----and your dog will help you train the children when they come.

The most important thing you will learn that applies to both dogs and children is how to get them to think and be responsible for their actions. You'll be surprised after you have trained both successfully how similar it is.
 

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zeeva..... how do you define "unstable" ? lets start from there. to me, unstable, when applied to dogs, means they could pose aggressive behavior to newborns and children in general. is this the case?
 
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