Originally Posted By: RavensMom
The most difficult thing is this: I am the trigger for the behavior. When I am not home, he doesn't do it. My husband and adult sons have told me that none of this begins until I am in the house - wedo not know why. I am taking him to the vet to be evaluated further and most likely, put on medication.
This to me is the most significant thing. It doesn't seem medical if he is able to NOT to do it part of the time.
How weird is that? So he does not-ever? sometimes? do this with your husband or sons? Do they do anything differently with him while you are gone? Is he crated? And what changes when you are home?
Have you tried leashing him to you to reduce his ability to perform these behaviors while mentally stimulating him by giving him commands, etc? I am not convinced that is the best advice but will see what others think! (because I would do that-but wouldn't want to tell someone else to do it and have it backfire)
I hate to reference Cesar Millan because I do not agree with everything he does (more than I do not agree with someone like Ian Dunbar) but it seems like there is something going on in the relationship with you and your dog/the leadership issue.
He may be nervous-feeling like he has to take care of you. That little idea in their heads creates MORE problems! Believe me, I know that first hand with my oldest dog. He taught me that I have to be large and in charge even if I didn't feel it so that he could relax. Otherwise he would pace, have periods of anxiety, etc. He's still (15) not right, but we use the tools of me controlling resources to help us!
One of those tools is NILIF.
http://www.k9deb.com/nilif.htm
Another thing
is exercise and mental stimulation.
Your female is trying to fill in the leadership gap-again this is only my perception via the internet. She's got the whole "if you're not going to do something about it, I will" thing happening. Once you get him going on NILIF, get her on it too, she'll feel better.
Try checking out The Dog Listener by Jan Fennell.
I have never been anti-medication because chemicals are chemicals whether they are in dogs or people, and drugs can help, but if there are other things that can be done first and perhaps negate their use, or to only need them for supportive and not suppressive purposes to me is much better.
And sorry that you have other things to deal with in addition to this. Your stress level may be leeching out to your very receptive dog. But this happens, and it's not the blaming the mom thing, just one of those things that happen. Sometimes our dogs can force us to do things for ourselves that we wouldn't normally do! Get a massage, take some time to meditate or do deep breathing, relaxation stuff for you and help your dog in the process!
In fact, that is one thing I had to remember to do with my dog-when I'd get home I'd sit in the car and get relaxed so I wouldn't reinforce his idea that I was in danger "out there" in the world.
GOOD LUCK! Thank goodness he has you.