Nike

I'm so sorry you're going thru this. I wish I could say or do something to help you. Having a much loved dog put down never gets easier. I know I always second guess myself, I know I'm doing the right thing, but I still always question myself about it. I've never found a way to prepare myself for the eventual loss of any of my babies.

I lost JR to Cauda Equina Syndrome. I joined a CES list for humans and they gave me a lot of tips which helped him. Like you, I didn't want to put him thru the surgery (he was about 10 when he was diagnosed). Per the CES people, I put him in hydrotherapy which helped for a while, but eventually there was nothing else left to help him. I had to have him put down three months after his 13th birthday.

A couple months ago his 12-1/2 year old daughter was diagnosed with CES and spondylosis. She's going in next Wednesday for a Bowen Massage Therapy treatment - I'll post here if I see any results or not. I'm not sure if I'll put her in hydrotherapy or not, her brother got pneumonia twice last year from aspirating water. Right now she's doing pretty good but I can see her starting to exhibit more symptoms. So far she's doing well on Metacam and Tramadol, but I'm sure eventually she'll have to start taking Pred and Valium for the muscle spasms.

This is the support group that helped me so much. They wouldn't let me join, but they did give me all the support I needed including taking my problems with JR to their membership.
http://www.caudaequina.org/

GOOD LUCK and my prayers are with you and Nike.

I'm so sorry to hear this Losing a dog is always very tough, but when it's your first it's a terrifying thought also.
My Logan was my first dog and he was also 9 years old when I had him put to sleep. I spoiled him so much in his last few days. He had his favourite sausages for dinner and I spent as much time as I could with him.

On his last day, it was just so strange.. It was almost like he knew what was coming and he seemed almost relieved that the pain would be over. He was ready, without a doubt. He would usually get so excited about going in the car, but his car trip to the vet was silent.

There's no way really to prepare yourself.. Everyone deals with grief in different ways. I myself, experienced a loss of reality. It felt like I was looking down on everything from a distance. It was scary. I'll be honest and say that, even though it was fourteen months ago, I still cry over him and miss him terribly. But you have to take comfort in the fact that they've moved on and they're at peace finally And that you'll have so many wonderful memories of her too!

Death is a natural process of life. I sorta like to look at it as being reborn almost. It doesn't have to be a completely negative thing. As much as we miss them, I truely believe they'll always remain with us in spirit

Here's my story: I put my first GSD down in 7/04 due to similar signs. He was 12 yrs old and we had battled an autoimmune disease for 4 years that at first attacked his joints and in later years caused hind leg paralysis. We managed to bring him around from the paralysis 3 times during his last 6 months. It was clear that the last bout wasn't responding to treatment. He was a large GSD at around 110 lbs. He also had diarrhea that wasn't responding to treatment, and was diagnosed with pnuemonia secondary to fast onset laryngial paralysis. My big boy with a heart of gold was falling to pieces before my eyes. I would use a sling to support his hind end to take him outside. We had to barricade him into the kitchen and I did a lot of laundry. I started thinking it might be time, not due to the work load on myself, but due to how "embarresed" he seemed to be about his lack of control and the odds against a decent recovery from all his issues. I "knew" it was time when I went to lift him with the sling and he whined. I wasn't going to put him through pain in addition to all his other problems. I had worked in the vet field for 10 years at that point, all but 6 months at one practice. I made an appt with my previous boss (my boss and a another coworker there where also his pet sitters and friends) and when we got there all my former coworkers came out to the van, and we put a catheter in him. I fed him 2 whole slices of pizza (he usually only got the crust) and he was given the injection to a chorus of "Good boy". I've witnessed a lot of euthanasias over the years, but this was the only time I've seen this, the last thing he did was wag his tail. That helped.

As far as preparing yourself, I'm not really sure you can. The house felt empy each time I returned home (even with another dog in the house). We were preparing to move, which I think helped alot - not only kept me busy, but once we moved it was easier to not run into a memory around every corner. I also lavished extra attention on our other dog. It takes time to dull the pain and we all find our own ways of dealing with it and remebering them. Some people feel compelled to get another dog right away, others can't even think about that for months or years. I know people who have gotten involved in breed specific rescue out of a "tribute" to their lost companion.