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They took her off of her thyroid pill 4 months before as she had hypothyroidism and the next CBC had said hyperthyroidism. Instead of cutting the dosage. She was sluggish and gained 9 pounds in 4 months. He wanted to recheck her in a year! She vomited horrendously and the next day did not eat, although the days before she was eating normally, drank tons of water then stopped both. I brought her in that morning and she had a CBC, ultrasound and x-ray at a different clinic. Her pancreas was terrible and she was in sepsis, could barely pick her head up. I always fed her the best food, between Wellness then low fat Avoderm. She had treats but much less of them and any table scraps were chicken with the fat cut off, lean ground beef, a chunk here or there,never fats. My problem is since we lost her at at 8.5 years, I feel so guilty I can barely stand it. I hold myself responsible for maybe feeding her, well just, the wrong thing here and there unknowlingly. I looked up the best foods, gave her 2 cups a day of food, sometimes licking out an empty jar of peanut butter, the usual. The sepsis made her DM so much worse that she was crossing her back legs at night when she was walking as we had to take her home overnight. I stayed up all night with her and brought her back. I even opted for a plasma transfer to build her white blood cells up, which were very low. We spent 4,000 in two days. She still would not drink or eat anything they told us to give her. They were going to try to put a tube down her throat to feed her in a few more days. There was no quality of life. I did't want her to suffer anymore and at home she was full of IV fluids and we took her out back and she looked like she forgot how to pee. We tried several times. She inviountarily peed on the blankets on her bed. Whether it was brain damage or worsening of the DM and having no control, I don't know. The new vet said she was probably affected by the pain meds.. well my husband said that we have been on pain meds and always were able to pee!. She was on IV antibiotics, 3 of them, painkillers, antiparasitics, just in case during the day there plus the plasma transfer. I am still so sick with guilt that maybe if I fed her less snacks she would still be here.
 

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I am so sorry.....such a difficult situation to manage....<<<hugs>>>
 

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I am so sorry, you are grieving. The guilt is your way of processing sorrow and loss. You will feel awful for awhile. Share your beautiful memories when ready. That terrible feeling is part of Love. You loved her and she loved you. Hugs.
 

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Discussion Starter #4
Thank you so much for your support.
 
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