Momma's boy

1658 Views 5 Replies 4 Participants Last post by Guest, Jun 24, 2008

cork2win

Discussion Starter · Jun 23, 2008

We adopted our mix a year and a half ago. While he's always been "my" dog, he likes both of us. He's perfectly happy being with my husband doing all kinds of stuff, but only as long as I'm not around.

Whenever I'm around, he's with me. Always. Well, unless someone has food, but other than that he's pretty much glued to my side. He's gotten more attached since we've gotten him and my husband now regularly refers to him as a "momma's boy" because he seriously just won't leave my side.

We're moving to acreage soon and I would really like for our dog to go outside and get some exercise when my husband is out there mowing the lawn or working but the dog stays with me, and usually I'm in the house doing what needs to be done in there.

While I don't mind going for a walk around the property with him just to get him outside, I'm starting to wonder if his attachment to me is unhealthy? While personally I love his attachment and devotion to me, I'm concerned that if this trend continues that he might be upset when we go on vacation or something. He's fine when I leave for work in the morning, he's fine when I'm not around at all, it's just that when I *am* around, he wants to be with me.

Will his attachment grow into separation anxiety? Even if it doesn't, would it be good for me to somehow try to detach him from me a little? I don't even know if that's possible, but if it's best for him I'd do it.

We'd like to get another dog and I'm wondering if maybe the other dog would help him separate from me a little (assuming the other dog isn't a momma's boy too). I basically just don't know if his attachment to me is a problem, or could become a problem. Like I said, he's fine when I leave for work or when I'm not around, it's just that if he knows I'm around, he wants to be with me. My husband took him on our pond in the boat, and as soon as the dog realized I didn't get into the boat too (I was on the shore) he started to whine and eventually jumped out of the boat and swam to shore. Had I not been there at all, he would have been totally happy on the boat with my husband, but because I was there and he could see me, he wanted to be with me.

Thoughts?

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Karin

· #2 · Jun 23, 2008

Heidi is the same way. She is really, really attached to me. She likes my husband, but whenever I leave the house when he's home, she'll lay down by the front window and wait for me to come home. I leave her in her crate when I have to leave her all alone and and she seems fine with that--which is a great improvement over when we first got her. She used to whine and rumple her bedding in her crate, but now she is OK as long as I don't leave her too long.

If we go on hikes and I lag behind, she'll whine and cry and want to wait for me. But if Dave does the same, she just keeps walking! It hurts his feelings, and I don't blame him!!

I'm looking forward to reading the answers you get because I need to work on this with her as well.

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Lilly Pad

· #3 · Jun 23, 2008

Karin your dog and mine sound so much alike. When I got Lilly 6 months ago she could not be enclosed anywhere. Se barked in her crate when we went out and and chewed her teeth down trying brake out. The crate pads were all bent out of shape. Now she lays quitely till I get home. When hubby is left with her and I go out she cries the whole time I am gone and goes to the doors and waits. She will come to hubby now when called and he tries to buy her love with treats but it is evident that she is my dog and I feel bad for him because he is the one who wanted another shepherd to fill the void left by our sweet Tara who adored him and was his shadow. I am hoping time will help Lilly with her separation anxiety and acceptance of my hubby into the pack.

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BlackGSD

· #4 · Jun 23, 2008

Originally Posted By: cork2win

I'm concerned that if this trend continues that he might be upset when we go on vacation or something. He's fine when I leave for work in the morning, he's fine when I'm not around at all, it's just that when I *am* around, he wants to be with me.

Will his attachment grow into separation anxiety? Even if it doesn't, would it be good for me to somehow try to detach him from me a little? I don't even know if that's possible, but if it's best for him I'd do it.

Thoughts?

My feeling is that since it has been a year and a half already and he is still fine when you are gone, seperation anxiety isn't going to become an issue. And since he IS fine when you are gone, I really see no reason to try to detach him from you.

This is just how a lot of dogs are. Even if they are "family" dogs, they choose 1 person to be their "favorite".

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cork2win

Discussion Starter · #5 · Jun 23, 2008

Originally Posted By: BlackGSD

Originally Posted By: cork2win

I'm concerned that if this trend continues that he might be upset when we go on vacation or something. He's fine when I leave for work in the morning, he's fine when I'm not around at all, it's just that when I *am* around, he wants to be with me.

Will his attachment grow into separation anxiety? Even if it doesn't, would it be good for me to somehow try to detach him from me a little? I don't even know if that's possible, but if it's best for him I'd do it.

Thoughts?

Click to expand...

My feeling is that since it has been a year and a half already and he is still fine when you are gone, seperation anxiety isn't going to become an issue. And since he IS fine when you are gone, I really see no reason to try to detach him from you.

This is just how a lot of dogs are. Even if they are "family" dogs, they choose 1 person to be their "favorite".

Thanks for your opinion. That's kind of what I was hoping to hear. I love the fact that he adores me so, because I adore him, I just don't want it to become an issue in the future. I guess if something starts to present itself then I'll have to make some adjustments. Mostly I feel bad for hubby because I think he's a little jealous, but the dog was my idea to begin with, so it's only right that he adores me, right?

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· #6 · Jun 24, 2008

In my experience at least I've found it perfectly normal for a GSD to be more inclined towards one senior member of the family that is the opposite sex than they are. Not always the case to be sure but often enough that it's no surprise.

Frigga is "daddy's girl" here. She very much loves DW and minds her well, but when I am home Frigga is my velcro dog. She stays so close she's in a virtual permanent heel.

Odin was my dog first and for years he was the only dog and I the only person in his life, but since DW and I have become a family Odin spends more and more time with DW. We still have our time together - including our "special" moments, but his heart has always been very big and he has room enough for us both.

Each dog is different of course but what you describe is a relationship I've seen many, many times now.

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