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I apologize if this has been posted already but I hadn't seen it. Very funny and I'm SURE my dogs wrote a couple of them specifically!!!

1. After your humans give you a bath, DON'T LET THEM TOWEL DRY YOU ! Instead, run to their bed, jump up and dry yourself off on the sheets. This is especially good if it's right before your humans bedtime.

2. Act like a convicted criminal. When the humans come home, put your ears back, tail between your legs, chin down and act as if you have done something really bad. Then, watch as the humans frantically search the house for the damage they think you have caused.(Note: This only works when you have done absolutely nothing wrong.)

3. Let the humans teach you a brand new trick. Learn it perfectly. Then the humans try to demonstrate it to someone else, stare blankly back at the humans. Pretend you have no idea what they're talking about.

4. Make your humans be patient. When you go outside to go 'pee', sniff around the entire yard as your humans wait. Act as if the spot you choose to go pee will ultimately decide the fate of the earth.

5. Draw attention to the human. When out for a walk always pick the busiest, most visible spot to go 'poo'. Take your time and make sure everyone watches. This works particularly well if your humans have forgotten to bring a plastic bag.

6. When out for a walk, alternate between choking and coughing every time a strange human walks by.

7. Make your own rules. Don't always bring back the stick when playing fetch with the humans. Make them go and chase it once in a while.

8. Hide from your humans. When your humans come home, don't greet them at the door.Instead, hide from them, and make them think something terrible has happened to you. (Don't reappear until one of your humans is panic-stricken and close to tears).

9. When your human calls you to come back in, always take your time. Walk as slowly as possible back to the door.

10. Wake up twenty minutes before the alarm clock is set to go off and make the humans take you out for your morning pee.As soon as you get back inside, fall asleep. (Humans can rarely fall back asleep after going outside, this will drive them nuts!)
 

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Those are good. Maddie does #4 a LOT, especially if it's cold/raining/I'm in the middle of doing something else, then she takes FOREVER. She whines to go outside when it's raining, so I take her out there, and as soon as her feet it the water, she refuses to go any further (and looks up at me like it's MY fault it's raining outside), so I get wet and cold for nothing. Crazy dog.
 

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Quote: 9. When your human calls you to come back in, always take your time. Walk as slowly as possible back to the door. <span style="color: #FF6666">AND DON'T FORGET TO ZIG ZAG MAKING THE LONGEST POSSIBLE ROUTE TOTHE DOOR!!!!!</span>


10. Wake up twenty minutes before the alarm clock is set to go off and make the humans take you out for your morning pee.As soon as you get back inside, fall asleep. (Humans can rarely fall back asleep after going outside, this will drive them nuts!)
Chloe did that this morning. or the typical "I REALLY have to go, dance and when i put her out it's pouring....I dont' really have to go that badly slink"...
 

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When did Chase learn to type?
 

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Originally Posted By: luanne

10. Wake up twenty minutes before the alarm clock is set to go off and make the humans take you out for your morning pee.As soon as you get back inside, fall asleep. (Humans can rarely fall back asleep after going outside, this will drive them nuts!)
I <u>wish</u> it was only 20 minutes! Maxwell gets us up around 4:30 AM!
 

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