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Some day when you're feeling strong, do a search on the forum for "hemangiosarcoma" so that you can start to wrap your mind around it, and allow yourself to accept there truly was nothing anyone could have done for a different outcome. It might as well be called "GSD-cancer," and it's always terminal. I offer that because I remember second-guessing everything when we lost our first one to it -- should we have done different senior tests to have caught it early, how could the vet have missed it on her annual exam a few weeks earlier, what did we do that caused it, would a different vet have been able to treat it?....and as I read more, I realized it was probably just an inevitable outcome baked into her genetics. It allowed me some peace.

SO many of us have lost dogs to this wicked disease -- it's always sudden, jarring, and heart-wrenching. Always.

I'm so sorry for you loss. Know that we understand, because we've been there too. :(
This is so true. we lost two of ours , Chevy and Daisy to this thief. It is so sudden and it happens in blink.
 

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I'm sorry Harley got this crap. Hemangio often comes with no warning at all and if it does come with warning it is still too late for any effective treatment. Take comfort in what a great time you and Harley had together. He sounds like a wonderful dog that had a wonderful life with you.
 

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RIP Harley
I know exactly what you are going though as I am going though it right now also, just over a week ago on May 7th I lost my 9 year old lab to a mass in her spleen, It was cancer, they went in to try and take out her whole spleen and found it had attached to other organs and if they took it out she would die in the middle of it, so all that was left to do was take her home and wait, she lasted just over a month and I put he down one morning when it was clear she was ready.

Its so hard I wish you all the best during this time, it was so sudden I can imagine how horrible you both you must have felt during all that. You gave him an amazing life, you know that and so does he, don't blame anything on yourself there was nothing you could have done if it was bleeding like that so please spare blaming yourself for anything. Think of all the positive memories and keep away from all the "what ifs", just some advice from another grieving pet owner.
 

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I'm sorry. He was still a young guy. And yes, it comes up so suddenly when it does. Thank you for not letting him suffer. I know that was hard, but you gave him a good life, and in the end, you helped him out too. That is all we can do. German Shepherds build up our hearts and when they go, it tears them pretty bad. Right now the ending is so huge it is hard to see around it to how good it was what you had with him. Time does help some with that.

I lost Arwen to this, 6-7 years ago. I think of her every day. Every day her name comes up in one context or another: "Arwen used to do that that way." "She looks a lot like Arwen." "Arwen was half-human -- she taught me...." Losing her no longer over-shadows the joy of her lifetime.

I'm really sorry.
 

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I'm so sorry for the loss of Harley-such a handsome boy. Wish there was something I can say that could take the pain away. He will be sure to visit you in your dreams. RIP Harley.
 

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Sorry for your loss but you did the right thing. It would have been worse to let him suffer. I went through similar few years ago. Time heals all wounds, you never get over it but learn to deal with it. Focus on the good times and the fact you did what was best for him.
 

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I am so sorry for your loss. I lost two gsds to hemangiosarcoma and it was such a shock. My boy Basu wasn't even 11 years old.

I am confident that your boy knew how much you loved him and I hope that in time you will be able to cherish the memories of all of the wonderful times you shared. Take good care.
 

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Discussion Starter #32
Thank you all so much. I do feel guilty, like I should of known, I could of done something, but I know that is not the case. You never think it will happen to you, until the day it does and you are no where prepared to say goodbye. Spending every day with him for 9 yrs and all of a sudden he is gone. It feels like a dream I am waiting to wake up from. Had a rough night, hoping today goes alittle better. I just want him back home..........
 

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Thank you all so much. I do feel guilty, like I should of known, I could of done something, but I know that is not the case. You never think it will happen to you, until the day it does and you are no where prepared to say goodbye. Spending every day with him for 9 yrs and all of a sudden he is gone. It feels like a dream I am waiting to wake up from. Had a rough night, hoping today goes alittle better. I just want him back home..........
I have to say, I avoided reading your thread, I read the first few sentences the other day and had to stop--it was too much for me, because your pain, everything you are going through, I have had, too. More times than I care to recall. And in at least two instances, exactly the same, with the same horrific disease. But I post this, as others have, with hope that it may help you to know you are not alone in this. Others have dealt with it in different ways, but for me, the best way was to bring another puppy or rescue GSD into my home asap. This helps so much. At first you may feel like you're being a traitor... But you will still love Harley just as much, and you will learn to love the new puppy or dog for his or her own personality. He won't be a replacement at all, we know that could never be. But your heart is big enough, your love is expansive, and you will love the new dog for himself. And he will help you to heal.

Susan
 

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Discussion Starter #35
I have to say, I avoided reading your thread, I read the first few sentences the other day and had to stop--it was too much for me, because your pain, everything you are going through, I have had, too. More times than I care to recall. And in at least two instances, exactly the same, with the same horrific disease. But I post this, as others have, with hope that it may help you to know you are not alone in this. Others have dealt with it in different ways, but for me, the best way was to bring another puppy or rescue GSD into my home asap. This helps so much. At first you may feel like you're being a traitor... But you will still love Harley just as much, and you will learn to love the new puppy or dog for his or her own personality. He won't be a replacement at all, we know that could never be. But your heart is big enough, your love is expansive, and you will love the new dog for himself. And he will help you to heal.

Susan
Thank you. I know there will never be a bond close to what we had. Yes I have thought about another GSD or another breed (prob won't make me happy). I feel like I can't be around a dog right now but at the same time I know it would help. I just remember how jealous Harley would get if another dog was getting my attention. He would cry like a baby. I would feel guilt even though I know I shouldn't. IDK what I am going to do. Can I handle going thru this pain again with another GSD? I don't think any other dog would make me feel complete. Harley def spoiled me with his good behavior and I think I would always compare and not be able to give a new one the right love. Maybe I just need alittle more time. I broke down last night holding his red ball to my face, bawling my eyes out. Still doesn't seem real..........
 

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Discussion Starter #36
I had him put down at the ER vet and wanted his own vet to keep him to send his body for cremation so I brought him home Thursday night, wrapped in nice comforters as his body lay on my back seat. I was taking him to his own vet first thing in morning, well I ended up laying on the back seat with him, holding him for half the night. I just couldn't leave him........
 

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I had him put down at the ER vet and wanted his own vet to keep him to send his body for cremation so I brought him home Thursday night, wrapped in nice comforters as his body lay on my back seat. I was taking him to his own vet first thing in morning, well I ended up laying on the back seat with him, holding him for half the night. I just couldn't leave him........
:crying:
 

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Thank you. I know there will never be a bond close to what we had. Yes I have thought about another GSD or another breed (prob won't make me happy). I feel like I can't be around a dog right now but at the same time I know it would help.
Harley would not have wanted for you to be alone. Honor his memory by ensuring that someday, when you're ready, you'll allow another dog into your heart.

After some time passes, consider fostering for a breed rescue. You only commit to keep the dog until it's forever home is found. You're just a temporary bridge -- and the dog will be a bridge for you too. If you foster a few dogs and eventually find "the one" that you can't bear to let go, you can always adopt it, but the rest will find great homes, and lives will be saved.

You won't ever have another love that's like the one you lost. You will have a different love though for a different dog, and it will surprise and amaze you with how glorious it will grow to be, if you let it. The love for each dog is unique and special. Over a lifetime, it's like tending a garden of one-of-a-kind flowers in your heart. You make room to let the next one grow and bloom.
 

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First, I am so sorry for your loss.. I think most of us have been in your shoes in losing such a beloved family member.. My heart goes out to you... Having lost a heart dog (which took a long time to feel normal and I still miss greatly) I can honestly say, for me, having a dog ready to rub and cry on helped... There is no replacement for your boy. Period.. But as I type this, my girl is laying on her side, a paw over nose trying to get me to pay attention to her... My relationship with my current 'kids' (sorry to those who hate that term, it is what they are to me) is different, but oh so good.. I had 3 weeks without a dog and that was the longest for 25yrs! I was lost... But that is just me.. You would not be betraying your boys memory, not at all.. If anything, he would want you to be cared for... I prayed for dogs that had special aspects that my cherished lost pets had, and I swear to you, I see it! They are different from those dogs, but they have little areas, nuances that remind me of a particular dog and I can see that dog smiling.. I think of it as a gift.. But that is just me... In the meantime know that I am praying the grief will ease and you heal..
 
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