how to train a....kid

What if Shane attends the party while on-lead? He can get pats, socialize, etc.

If you want Shane offlead, though, I would respect this youngster's fears-- and tread c-a-u-t-i-o-u-s-l-y here. One innocent (but abrupt, startling, spray-diffusing, and LOUD) sneeze from Shane, and any progress with this boy can be sent backwards, if the child is that terrified. I would rather have Shane miss out on a party than to have a child's fears cement by a waggy, happy, bumbling accidental bump, sneeze, etc... are you prepared to stay watching Shane like a hawk during this party? The last thing this child wants is to see this enormous monster (from his perspective) chasing and tussling with his peers.... and being LOOSE.

If you really want to introduce Shane to this child, let the child decide when it stops and should go no further.

Here is an idea to help:

1. Decide to intro the child and Shane together in a QUIET area-- NOT the party zone.
2. Bring out Shane ON LEAD.
3.DOWN Shane far away from the boy.
4. Ask the boy to approach Shane.
5. You groom Shane with an undercoat rake for a few strokes, showing the child how to do this.
6. Explain and show how much Shane looooves this, how it feels good to him.
7.Explain to the child, as you gently hand him the rake-- that this grooming tool can HURT Shane.. so be g-e-n-t-l-e.
8. Supervise the child gently grooming Shane.

This shows the child that Shane can FEEL.. he can feel good if he is groomed gently... or, he can feel HURT if roughly brushed. Let the child see that Shane has FEELINGS.

I still say be cautious here-- the fear is based on the randomness of the big dog's movements.. and letting him be free, offlead at a party with running kids.. i think the child would be quite anxious.

Maybe things will go well with the intro. I hope so!

GOOD LUCK!! Have a super party, too!

Thanks Patti,

That is a super idea! I will ask the kid to see how he feels, but if not, like you said, I won't push the issue. Shane may have to be spend the party alone (with visitation and treats from me of course). At least I can try to see if I can bring Shane out on a lead, if the kid is comfortable with it.

It is the fact that Shane is a "big dog" that makes him scare. He just see's a big body, big head, big teeth, big paws! I don't blame the kid, I'd be scared too! ****, I seen adults run away from him lol. I just want to make him comfortable, so that when he does come over, I don't have to hide Shane and he be able to toss the ball to him (He always wanted to play fetch but too scared to try).

Thanks for the advice! I am looking forward to this party (my first break in a long time!) Have a wonderful 4th of July (Although you are in Germany lol)!

Tough situation all around. You didn't say how old the kid was. Chances are good that he won't come around to Shane in the course of one day. The **** of it is that most people will remove the dog just for the sake of peace and quiet from the screaming kid, though the dog is doing absolutely nothing wrong. Kids learn pretty quick too. I don't guess there is any chance you could put the kid in the house? I wouldn't take him long to realize the fun was going on outside. Sort of a little NILIF for the kid.
Kids are like dogs in many respects, recently I took Mack around a wee little guy and he initially started squawking but when I took Mack away within a few minutes he was asking where the puppy was. I took him back in and they got along famously. If a kid gets fussed over and babied over the deal, he has little incentive to overcome his irrational fear, if it is, indeed, irrational.
I have a Grandson that was mortified of Mack, but I convinced DIL to ignore the tantrums. The screaming bloody murder at the mere sight of Mack has stopped altogether. Of course it took some time. I think basically the kid has to come to the decision himself.

I actually kinda don't think this is the "big dog" issue as much as it seems. I would put money on that it is the randomness of the big dog that scares him. We're never afraid of the man in line in front of us as the grocery check-uut.... until next week when we learn he is the new dentist we are seeing! Now he seems "scary"-- because we do not know what he will do to us, in that white coat, wearing those gloves and mask.. got a big light.... etc. Basicly, the unknown randomness is what scares the child.

"Shane is going to lie down now, because I am going to ask him to."

"Shane like icecream too, just like you. Now he will lick a tiny amount of rocky road from this paper cup I am bringing him. See? He likes that." (reminds the boy Shane has feelings)

"Now Shane will lay here. That's his job, because I told him to lay there, he must stay there. If you come over to say hello to him, he is not allowed to move." (don't say.. not allowed to come to you, play with you, etc.. those are scary ideas best left unsaid-- big emphasis here is that he must down-stay and remain there until you say differently. This will help the child fee safe.

If the child wants, he can give icecream in a second little cup to Shane. If the child wants, he can talk to, look at, touch-- but remind the boy that "Shane may NOT get up.. I am sorry, but if you want Shane to do anything else, he is not allowed to. He must stay laying down until I say different."

The idea of seeing an immobile dog in a downstay, onleash, is a good thing for some scared kids.

Just random thoughts here. You can also tell a story of when Shane was scared of something, shy about something, nervous... a Shane-as-puppy story about him being a baby, a silly story, a goofy story.. a story about Shane being clumsy, or about him sleeping with a favorite toy. Also, Shane is just 16 months old. He is probably younger than all of the kids at the party. That is something to mention perhaps, too. Possibly none of these may help.. am just wishing the best for both boy and dog.

Happy 4th!

THANK YOU EVERYONE!!!!! I TOOK ALL YOUR ADVICE AND IT WORKED!!!!!! The little boy was able to bond with Shane!

I was telling a "sad" story about Shane. About how Shane has Lyme Disease and he limping and how he take medication . IT WORKED! He wanted to see Shane and see his leg, (but he wasn't ready to touch him yet!) I was able to bring Shane within 20 feet of him!!!!!!!!!!! I was so proud of Shane, he was very calm!

Then I showed the tricks that Shane can do! AND THE LITTLE BOY ASKED IF HE COULD TRY! He was excited when he could Shane to "stand up" and to "speak"! AND HE ACTUALLY FED HIM! Again, SHANE WAS FANTASTIC, I was so proud of my baby! By the end of the night he was petting Shane. I couldn't believe it!

Shane was so happy to be with everyone, I was so proud of him. But when the neighbors started to set off their fireworks, I had to take Shane inside, he got too nervous. Otherwise, Shane was what you call "perfect" I was such a proud mama!

If I haven't said it enough...THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU ALL!