German Shepherds Forum banner

1 - 15 of 15 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
154 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Ok so I havent really seen this topic. If there are answers somewhere, please point me to them.

Here is my problem: New puppy (first puppy for me, but 4th dog). My boyfriend though, has never had a dog. His only experience was with my senior Border Collie - who he loved dearly after awhile.

Now the puppy is a whole other issue. He has no clue on training, and isnt too interested in my input. Why he's not I'm not sure... so I'm trying my best to let him "figure it out" on his own. Its not working so well.

I thought he'd learn that rough housing, and playing with his hands only winds up in puppy bites (and then he's angry). But seems to not be getting to him. He plays, then gets mad when he's bit and is done.

So what I have now is: SUPER EXCITED PUPPY when he comes around, rough housing for 2 minutes, puppy bites, BF angry and stomps off to his office.

WAY FUN. :help:

What I AM trying to do is: When BF gets up in the morning, or comes home from work - I distract puppy with treats & training. This is working OK but she still LEAPS away, jumps on him, then rushes back to me for sit/down/treat. :smirk: I guess I should put her on a leash. I try to encourage him to train with her, and he will, begrudgingly for a bit, but it is not often enough.

I am trying my best and realize we need a frank discussion. Any insights on how to deal with this?

(Puppy is a HIGHLY ACTIVE, mouthy, confident Duck Toller 18 weeks right now - we've had her 10 weeks)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
75 Posts
Maybe suggest he take the puppy for outside training? Hearing the advice from a pro trainer might make him listen. I took my pup to training and tried to share what I learned with my hubby and he never listened. Now he comes to all classes and it really helps.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
10,355 Posts
Is this a good boy friend? He doesn't respect you while you are bending over backwards to appease him. And there will be more to come. Trust me, it is my own experience.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
154 Posts
Discussion Starter #4
I hope to get him to come to some classes when they start up. He works a lot so it can be difficult to schedule with him.

Wolfy - I appreciate that insight! He is a good boyfriend, mostly! We both have a bad case of cabin fever, need winter to end, and stress at work. So that compounds with everything else. A good discussion regarding puppy training will be happening soon. I take his advice on say, car repairs (which he knows about, I do not!), so he should take my advice on puppy play.

It is frustrating, for sure. I guess this is more of a vent... Though I appreciate any advice! I know I simply need to communicate better to him what he needs to do and not do. I feel bad though because he LIKES to play with the puppy... but not when he gets bit. But if he played properly, he wouldn't... She doesnt act like this with me, because of course I am the caretaker, trainer, and everything else. He's just a big play toy.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,334 Posts
I've been with my husband almost 25 years, when it comes to training or handing the dogs, its all me. No matter what I would "suggest" would turn into some sort of "disagreement" or whatever you would like to call it. I tried printing articles, inviting him to class for which he really didn't have time for. It seemed that anything I said got him annoyed, like I'm some sort of know it all. I guess the countless hours I spend here or reading about dog stuff and all the classes I've been to shouldn't count for anything.
However if its some sort of information he happens to stumble across the information becomes valid and he is usually proud to share it with me, I just nod, smile and say oh.
Don't get me wrong, I love him but I train the dogs and he's happy giving them a little love and attention.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
154 Posts
Discussion Starter #6
OH gosh Kiya, thank you for sharing!!! I feel a little bit better that maybe this isn't just "me"!! Maybe I should try harder to not let it bother me.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,438 Posts
Yeah, ignore him. It's the only way, lol. I used to get upset because my DH wouldn't use the proper words, but now I just point out that GSDs are so gosh darn smart, they can understand the difference between a feminine voice and a masculine one, so the same word can mean 2 different things, lmao. It's so much easier now.

The biting while playing thing was an issue here too, since DH had never seen a landshark before. He used to get mad, and I'd tell him if he didn't want to get bitten, then just don't let him bite you! We had dozens of squeekies, tugs, balls, plushies and bones lying everywhere for the puppy - just grab one when you see him racing towards you, lol! And grab a bunch because he's coming back for more!!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
283 Posts
"BF angry and stomps off to his office"......I hate to say this, but not good - for both puppy and you.

How is he when he is angry at you?

Also keep in mind if your serious about him, how he behaves towards the puppy may be how he behaves towards kids if you want them?

He needs to be involved with the training, and listen to and respect your direction. (if not please look long and hard at the situation) so neither of you get hurt.

If you were my daughter I would suggest you re-consider the boyfriend. His behavior to me is a sign of things to come - sorry.

Also please post a pick of your pup.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
154 Posts
Discussion Starter #9
Powerscol - Thank you for your advice - it appreciated and considered. "angry and stomps off" means he's annoyed he got chomped on (yeah it hurts), and if he's in his office the puppy cant get to him because that portion of the house is blocked off. He's not angry at me. It bothers me that he can't come enjoy the living room with the puppy & myself because he doesn't know how to deal with her (or wont..)

He's a good guy...just not good at dealing with this. No kids! We have out hands full with cats & dogs. :)

Photos attached! Sorry no GSD here but she is AWFULLY cute.
 

Attachments

·
Registered
Joined
·
283 Posts
I have never seen a Nova Scotia Duck Tolling Retriever in person, but she looks like a wonderful dog. I love the eyes.

Remind your boyfriend he is actually very lucky. retrievers have soft mouths, take her teeth and add a factor of 10 to get to a GSD puppy teeth - trust me I know :eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek: I have learned that Emma is truly a land shark. none of my golden's ever bit as hard and as often.

Good luck with him - hopefully you can train him as well as the pup. :D:D:)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
154 Posts
Discussion Starter #12
Thanks everyone for the advice. We had a good talk the other evening regarding this issue, and then over Easter we visited my parents, along with the puppy. I think it was really good for him to see how my dad and mom handle Emme, and how she responds to them, compared to him. He kept asking me, "How come she's not biting HIM? How can he hold her like that??" He was amazed. I think it really opened his eyes to everything. He also realizes now that I am bending over backward for him, and he had better participate a bit more.

Ever since then, things have been MUCH MUCH better. We still have our moments, of course, but moving along a whole lot better now!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
665 Posts
Some people just aren't dog people. That is ok. But it is not realistic or fair of him to play incorrectly with the pup and then get mad. BF sounds like he has the emotional maturity of a 10 year old when that happens. If he loves and respects you then he should let you lead on this and take your advice.

If he is just inexperienced with dogs (but can love them like he did your former dog) then just keep gently instructing him and helping him see what he needs to do, he should come around.

If he's one of these guys who has little patience for the little woman telling him what to do, then get out now, that will only get worse.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,235 Posts
I highly recommend him taking a class with you and her. Husbands and kids don't like to listen to what wife/mom has to say. But suddenly when an outside person says it, they are willing to listen. I know many husband/wife teams that have to learn from someone else in my French ring and IPOD because when one tries to teach the other it ends in arguments or hurt feelings.


Sent from Petguide.com Free App
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
154 Posts
Discussion Starter #15
I am very hopeful he will be able to come to some training classes once they start up. May 1st cant come soon enough!
 
1 - 15 of 15 Posts
Top