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I adopted Chai from a rescue in December, she was just over a year old. From day one she was sweet and affectionate like I never expected. She was an immediate companion and loyal friend. I still can't imagine why anyone would have given her away.

Four days after I adopted her she became very ill. It was diagnosed as Discospondylitis. For a few months we battled with an accurate diagnosis and medication. Thru all of it Chai remained sweet. Even the vet's offices commented on what a sweet dog she was especially considering how sick and in how much pain she was. Unfortunately, her infection was too much for her little body to handle. She passed away in the middle of the night a few weeks ago. It was very sudden, she had been seemingly better and we had taken a walk and she ate so well that day. But it seems the infection spread to her heart and she probably had a heart attack.

I hate that I was asleep when she died, she laid down right next to my bed and died. I feel like she needed me and I wasn't there for her. I hate that she was alone when she died and I wasn't there giving her love until her final breath.

My heart is crushed, and the tears and pain are still so strong. Even in our less than 5 months together she meant so much to me. She loved our nearly daily walks when she was well. She would just lay on the floor and watch me going about my day. I loved to hear her collar jingle towards the door as I turned the key. I laugh to think of how she tried to give kisses to all of the neighborhood dogs and all of the dogs at the park. I miss her hand licks and how she loved to lay her head on my lap and cuddle. She had so much love to give. It is horrible that it was cut short.

I hope she knew that I did EVERYTHING I could get her better, I just wish it could have worked permanently. I hope she knew that I loved her so much and miss her so much. Even my cat misses her.

Goodbye to my sweet baby Chai. I will love you and miss you always, you will always have a place in my heart.
 

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I'm am so sorry for your loss:( She knew you loved her and don't think for a minute you weren't there for her. You took her in and showed her what it's like to be loved, she was not alone. She died at your side, with you right next to her.
 

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I am so sorry for your loss. She was not alone.....she was with you and I am sure she felt your presence. I do understand how you feel but please don't blame yourself!
 

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My deepest condolences. It is very amazing how quickly we bond to them and losing them so quickly can't be more painful. Don't worry, I'm sure she knows how much you love her and if she was beside you she certainly wasn't alone.

Sent from Petguide.com Free App
 

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I'm very sorry for your loss :hugs: You were present and there for her at every moment, even when she passed she was beside you and I'm sure that was enough to comfort her and she's out of pain running free

RIP Chai :(
 

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I am sorry for your loss.

Please don't be so hard on yourself. You were indeed there for her in so many ways. I think she understood that and sought you out in her final moments. It's ok that you didn't wake up. She knew you were there.
 

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I am so very sorry for your loss. What a wonderful gift you gave each other: Chai knew what a loving home was before she passed, and you benefited from her sweet companionship.
Sheilah
 

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I'm so, so sorry for your loss. As you know (I saw your reply), I lost my rescue, who I only experienced 14 months of life with, on April 30, so I can certainly relate. Actually, one of the things my husband couldn't help saying over and over and over after the loss was "She had so much love to give," so reading the same words expressed by a different broken heart really affected me today. Another similarity - my cat still desperately misses Eva, too. Comfort your cat, and let her comfort you.

Please take solace in the fact that you provided her with a good, loving, caring home; that she experienced joy and comfort and love in your presence. That's why she sought you out to lay next to in her last moments. I am certain that being near you gave her comfort for her final breaths.

Wishing you peace.
 

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so sorry for your loss
with this i agree
She was not alone.....she was with you and I am sure she felt your presence.
 

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I agree with everyone here. Chai was not alone, she had you right beside her.

As a matter of fact, it kind of seems to me, she was brought into your life at just the "right" time, if you will, so that she would not be alone just when she needed someone the most... and you were there.
 

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I am so sorry for your lossof Chai. She was not alone she had your unwavering support , love and care. Take care.
 

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I am sorry for your loss...
She was not alone, you were right there with her. She probably slipped away in her sleep. Had she been in discomfort, you would have heard her. It sounds like she went peacefully, which is what one can hope for if it is meant to be.
 

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I'm so sorry. We fought discospondylitis with Cassidy. She was about 2-1/2 when she started showing signs of pain, and once we got a diagnosis we did everything we could for 20 months before finally letting her go at 4 years old. It was heartbreaking. :(
 

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I am very sorry for your loss. I know it will take a lifetime to heal and few words will be of comfort to you and your family. Also, yes she knew all that you hope she did. That's why she chose you to rescue her and why she chose to be by your side in her final moments. She didn't want you to wake up, she wanted you to only have happy memories and not remember her at her worst. If she had wanted you to wake up she would have woken you. Her love and respect for you were her gift she chose to give. God Bless.
 

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So sorry for your loss of beautiful Chai. You were her chosen one to share her brief but special life. She shared her life with you because you made her feel special. RIP sweet Chai.
 

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Oh I am so sorry! It always sucks anyway but a year! Sometimes life is just not fair! But she knew that she was loved! Take care. :(
 

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What a beautiful girl! I am so sorry for your loss. Please be gentle with yourself. Perhaps because she was such a loyal friend, that I t was easier for her to let go while you were asleep. I once read about a study about dogs' brainwaves during sleep replicated their owners' when they slept in the same room. Their sleep cycles were in sync.

Take care.
 
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