Goodbye Dakota

I'm so sorry for your loss. We lost our Ray almost the same way three years ago this October. Ray passed away in the car on the way to the specialty vet. He was 8 years old.

Dakota was very lucky to have had such loving parents - and all of us here definitely understand how strong the bond is between us and our furkids and how hard it is when they leave us.


<span style="color: #6600CC">I Stood By Your Bed

I stood by your bed last night,
I came to have a peep.
I could see that your were crying,
You found it hard to sleep.

I whined to you softly
As you brushed away a tear,
"It's me, I haven't left you,
I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."

I was close to you at breakfast,
I watched you pour the tea,
You were thinking of the many times,
Your hands reached down to me.

I was with you at the shops today,
Your arms were getting sore.
I longed to take your parcels,
I wish I could do more.

I was with you at the grave today,
You tend it with such care.
I want to re-assure you,
That I am not laying there.

I walked with you towards the house,
As you fumbled for your key.
I gently put my paw on you,
I smiled and said "It's me."

You looked so very tired,
And sank into your chair,
I tried so hard to let you know,
That I was standing there.

It's possible for me,
To be so near you every day.
To say to you with certainty,
"I never went away."

You sat there very quietly,
Then smiled, I think you knew...
In the stillness of that evening,
I was very close to you.

The day is over...
I smile and watch you yawning,
And say, "Good-night, God Bless,
I'll see you in the morning."

And when the time is right for you,
To cross the brief divide,
I'll rush across to greet you,
And we'll stand, side by side.

I have so many things to show you,
There is so much for you to see.
Be patient, live your journey out..
Then come home to be with me.

Author unknown
</span>

<span style="color: #000099">While nobody else can ever really know how you feel, I have to say, I know how you feel -

When Ray left us, it was the first time that my husband and I were alone - he was like our son and when he passed away, the silence in the house was deafening. We didn't know what to do with ourselves. It was like a part of our lives had been ripped away - and in fact, it had.

In the few days following Ray's death, I came across this website with a Monday night Candle Ceremony. It might seem corny to some people, but it really helped us through the grief, and I thought it might help you as well. Here is the website:

https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/CandleLighting_Tribute/default.htm

Every Monday night at 10:00, people all over the world light candles in memory of their beloved furkids who have passed away. It will be 3 years in October, and every Monday night, we still light the candles in his memory and honor. I hope you will find some comfort in the ceremony as well.

I also found the following essay by Terri Onorato very comforting as well. I must have read it a million times in the days following Ray's death and I thought maybe you might find it helpful:

http://www.angelbluemist.com/aplaceforus.html

I know it sounds like a cliche, but time really does help heal. It doesn't seem like it right now, but someday you will begin to remember all the fun and happy things about Dakota and the grief will begin to subside a bit. It's different for everyone, so take the time you need to grieve. But remember, Dakota would want you to be happy.
</span>

Quote:im put toghter pretty sound emotionally and this is buy far the worst heartache i have felt. Ive lost granparents and friends along the way but i dont remember the emptyness in my core being this bad

Click to expand...

Spoken like a true dog lover. My husband, who doesn't show a lot of emotion told me that we would never have pets again after losing Nala. Of course, time heals and we did get more dogs.

Some advice given to me: grieve. He was a member of your family too and therefore the loss is heart breaking. Talk about it a lot too. Eventually the pain will subside.

Then remember the BEST moments. The silly things, the things that made you crack up, that one spot he liked to be scratched...you know the one, the one that made his leg kick? The ball playing or whatever fun game he liked to play. Read the rainbow bridge poem that was posted above. That gave me great comfort. Stay OUT of the "In Loving Memory" forum until you are ready to give someone else some comfort. At some point you will be able to respond to a post and give someone else comfort by sharing your story.

And finally....when you are ready...get a puppy or rescue a dog from a shelter. The first thing you start to think is "I can't replace him!" And you won't be. You will be bringing a NEW member of the family in to shower with love and affection that you've been building up since you lost your boy. And who knows...when that time comes perhaps there will be that special 'thing' that tells you Dakota helped pick him out special for you! There are so many quirky things in my boy Hunter that I SWEAR is my husky letting me know he sent Hunter. It's freaky sometimes!!!

It's been 4 years since we lost Nala (GSD) and 2 years since we lost our husky and I still think about them at least once a week. But when I do I smile because I remember the good times. I still miss them but nothing I can do can bring them back so I go and hug Gracie and Hunter and tell them how much I love them.

You and your wife will get there someday too. It seems impossible right now but it will happen. My heart breaks for you because I've been right where you are at. All I can tell you is that it will get better....

Hugs...

Lu

I'm so sorry for your sudden loss.

It's always hard. Over my adult life, I've been privileged to live with seven dogs. The two currently living with me are 10 and 13. I burried three and cremated two. It is always hard. However painful their deaths may be for me, that pain has inevitably been a small price to pay for the joy of their company. That's what I try to remember. That and the legacy that the previous dogs have left reminds me that another dog stands in line to benefit. The only justification I can find for their short lives is that they are generous creatures and allow other dogs to benefit from what they have taught me.

How do I cope? I think I have wailed and cursed. I have certainly cried for what seemed like a century. But I remember the good times, I remember the rough spots they've shared with me, I remember what they have taught me. I get another dog. It honors those dogs who have gone before and I need a dog in my life.

You will find your way the other side of this. As others have said, you'll remember the good times, you'll remember the things that made you laugh and they will make you laugh again. You will know when another dog is right. Sometimes I had to have one right away and was not at piece until I had one, other times, I have waited. It is what is right for you now.