I am feeling that maybe Jake and I are not good fit.He is an abused rescue I have lived with 4 yrs.I admit some mistakes in handling but he totally obedient to NILF and only prob I have not solved as yet is dog aggression.That said my adult son visited for first time in many years(we are not close geographically and both trying to survive by working demanding jobs)When son came jake welcomed him as he does with any human visitor to our home.Son been here 5 days -leaves tommorrow.Jake is in love-gives total attention-obedience-focus to son-something I am still working on.Right now I am on 3rd level bedroom (which also has room where Jake usually sleeps.He is down totally at home sleeping at foot of son's bed.He has for last 5 days totally transferreed his leadership/affection!Any thoughts???
gone without a backward look
1 - 13 of 13 Posts
I'll admit that if I were you, I would be a bit miffed too. Since the dog seems to be attached to your son, why not ask if he wants Jake. If not, I would be wondering about the difference in behaviors between you and your son towards the dog. What has he done that you haven't?
Joined
·
24,301 Posts
Pishtosh!
![]()
(been wanting to say pishtosh for a while!)
Especially in dogs whose background is unknown, we can't always explain their behaviors. We are keen to key in on fear behaviors and have no problems figuring that out (tall men, women who smoke, kids with sticks) but then feel inadequate if it's an affection reaction that is especially strong. But we shouldn't feel badly about it at all. My oldest dog has been in love with my mother since the first time they met. She's the exciting fun one and I am the person he respects. At least that is what I tell myself.
![]()
We can't explain it but can always wonder if perhaps his first person was a young man. Or if there is a scent or a need being sensed.
And I love what TorFree said:
"Don't feel bad - they say there is a soul of a dog that just connects where it is needed, bet he will miss your son. Maybe Jake will be more connected to you since he will feel the love you have for your son, just like he does."
Especially in dogs whose background is unknown, we can't always explain their behaviors. We are keen to key in on fear behaviors and have no problems figuring that out (tall men, women who smoke, kids with sticks) but then feel inadequate if it's an affection reaction that is especially strong. But we shouldn't feel badly about it at all. My oldest dog has been in love with my mother since the first time they met. She's the exciting fun one and I am the person he respects. At least that is what I tell myself.
We can't explain it but can always wonder if perhaps his first person was a young man. Or if there is a scent or a need being sensed.
And I love what TorFree said:
"Don't feel bad - they say there is a soul of a dog that just connects where it is needed, bet he will miss your son. Maybe Jake will be more connected to you since he will feel the love you have for your son, just like he does."
Joined
·
16,368 Posts
Me thinks you are feeling spurned! My dogs are always enarmoured when dog savy friends visit. Always. Without fail. But, me too! I'm willing to bet that if this were someone you did not like, Jake would not be sleeping at the foot of his bed.
I remember getting a little miffed when my dogs took to a family member that I was not particularly fond of. The next day they started barking at him!
I remember getting a little miffed when my dogs took to a family member that I was not particularly fond of. The next day they started barking at him!
Not every dog and every person are a good match. I had a dog (cocker spaniel) who I loved and I was committed to but I didn't like her. If that makes any sense! I ended up placing her with an older couple who wanted a couch potato. It couldn't have ended better!
I have a friend who had a gsd for years. He and that dog were NOT a good match...constantly butting heads. He didn't think he could ever place the dog because he could be aggressive with strangers. One day, his cousin walked in the house and, not knowing the dogs history, patted him on the head nonchalantly and walked on by. The dog thought this man was the best thing since milkbones and now lives with him!
IMO, there is no shame in finding a good fit..for you AND the dog.
That said...my dog LOVES her Grammy. She will follow Grammy around at her heels, sit next to her chair, defend her, want to sleep by her bed, etc etc. I honestly think its because my mother just hands out the rewards for the dog doing absolutely NOTHING! Why work for rewards when you can get them for free?!
I have a friend who had a gsd for years. He and that dog were NOT a good match...constantly butting heads. He didn't think he could ever place the dog because he could be aggressive with strangers. One day, his cousin walked in the house and, not knowing the dogs history, patted him on the head nonchalantly and walked on by. The dog thought this man was the best thing since milkbones and now lives with him!
IMO, there is no shame in finding a good fit..for you AND the dog.
That said...my dog LOVES her Grammy. She will follow Grammy around at her heels, sit next to her chair, defend her, want to sleep by her bed, etc etc. I honestly think its because my mother just hands out the rewards for the dog doing absolutely NOTHING! Why work for rewards when you can get them for free?!
Originally Posted By: JeanKBBMMMAANPishtosh!(been wanting to say pishtosh for a while!)![]()
Especially in dogs whose background is unknown, we can't always explain their behaviors. We are keen to key in on fear behaviors and have no problems figuring that out (tall men, women who smoke, kids with sticks) but then feel inadequate if it's an affection reaction that is especially strong. But we shouldn't feel badly about it at all. My oldest dog has been in love with my mother since the first time they met. She's the exciting fun one and I am the person he respects. At least that is what I tell myself.![]()
Good point there. My dog absolutely loves spending time with my 17 y/o son. The difference that I can see is that he will rough house and chase her outside in the backyard. Does he feed her or take her out for daily walks? No. Go figure why she loves him because I am the primary caregiver.![]()
We can't explain it but can always wonder if perhaps his first person was a young man. Or if there is a scent or a need being sensed.
And I love what TorFree said:
"Don't feel bad - they say there is a soul of a dog that just connects where it is needed, bet he will miss your son. Maybe Jake will be more connected to you since he will feel the love you have for your son, just like he does."
Re: gone What a resource
Try to reply to all-For some reason can't see replies so I'll wing it without names
Great reply saying if my dog loved my son he would love me just because of that!!
NO I will never give up my PIA great dog to anyone
pishtosh-yeah OK being a little self pitying jerk
Thinking it through some other questions??
is it possible Jake knew that he was my son genetically through something accessible to dogs that we do not understand?
My son is an adult 44 yo and VERY self confident-could Jake have seen him as NEW pack leader?
i ABSOLUTELY learned that I NEED to become more interesting to my dog when training-every down has an up if you take the time to see it!
Try to reply to all-For some reason can't see replies so I'll wing it without names
Great reply saying if my dog loved my son he would love me just because of that!!
NO I will never give up my PIA great dog to anyone
pishtosh-yeah OK being a little self pitying jerk
Thinking it through some other questions??
is it possible Jake knew that he was my son genetically through something accessible to dogs that we do not understand?
My son is an adult 44 yo and VERY self confident-could Jake have seen him as NEW pack leader?
i ABSOLUTELY learned that I NEED to become more interesting to my dog when training-every down has an up if you take the time to see it!
Joined
·
17,397 Posts
I agree!!Originally Posted By: JeanKBBMMMAANPishtosh!.....![]()
Our GSD does the same thing with my 19 year old nephew. And minds him better too!!!
There is also something about the gender difference too. I train Max, I feed Max, I take Max to the vet, etc. But yet it's my husband, who spends almost no time with him, that can make him stop on a dime.
Aaargh.
Joined
·
7,571 Posts
Re: gone What a resource
When my parents first visited me after I got Camper, (they live out of state), he went NUTS for them, more than he did for any of our friends. When we first visited my family, it was like he could discern which family was blood relatives and which weren't. The BIL (a total dog guy) he liked ok; the relatively same-age niece? OMG! LOVED her! My sister's step son (not genetically related), he was gentle with but generally ignored. My approx same-age nephew (my niece's son), Camper kept herding him around the house, then would lie right next to him on his blanket at nap time.
When Dh's brother visited us a few months ago, Camper didn't even bark when he walked in the door. He just squealed and ran around the house like a long lost-friend had come home. But he never met him before.
I think it makes sense, from a survival mode, to know who is related to your pack members and who isn't.
Maybe I'm crazy. (well...
![]()
) . But when we were visiting my family, it was clear that he was making some sort of distinction. And it wasn't just based on love. Because I love my step-nephew and my great-nephew pretty much the same. They both came into the family the same time, and I know them about the same amount (which, unfortunately, isn't all that much). So there's something else at work).
Yes, I absolutely think so.
When my parents first visited me after I got Camper, (they live out of state), he went NUTS for them, more than he did for any of our friends. When we first visited my family, it was like he could discern which family was blood relatives and which weren't. The BIL (a total dog guy) he liked ok; the relatively same-age niece? OMG! LOVED her! My sister's step son (not genetically related), he was gentle with but generally ignored. My approx same-age nephew (my niece's son), Camper kept herding him around the house, then would lie right next to him on his blanket at nap time.
When Dh's brother visited us a few months ago, Camper didn't even bark when he walked in the door. He just squealed and ran around the house like a long lost-friend had come home. But he never met him before.
I think it makes sense, from a survival mode, to know who is related to your pack members and who isn't.
Maybe I'm crazy. (well...
Joined
·
1,492 Posts
Re: gone What a resource
Maybe you're trying too hard.
You've taught Jake a lot, relax a little. Enjoy him. You've reached the place where you don't have to monitor his every movement.
(This may all be wishful thinking-that doing less=more, but it's a thought)
Mary Jane
Maybe you're trying too hard.
You've taught Jake a lot, relax a little. Enjoy him. You've reached the place where you don't have to monitor his every movement.
(This may all be wishful thinking-that doing less=more, but it's a thought)
Mary Jane
1 - 13 of 13 Posts
