German Shepherds Forum banner

Spaying/Neutering Your Children

41 - 60 of 100 Posts

· Registered
Joined
·
9,340 Posts
It is funny how people are all for freedom of choice unless it is someone's choice to have a lot of children. So what if the Duggars have more children? They are all loved and cared for and financially supported without tax money, so why is their choice anyone else's business.
Because there are lots and lots of people having a lot of children who can't support them. The Duggars I'm not worried about.

At my boxing gym, most of the kids live in government-supported housing (due to the nature of the sport and where the gym is located). Off the top of my head, I can't think of a single one who has less than 4 brothers and sisters. Every year we have a benefit to help out the kids whose parents can't afford to pay for their school supplies-- which is most of them. I don't have a problem helping the kids and certainly don't blame them for their parents' irresponsibility, but it is irresponsible to have kids if you can't afford to care for them.
 

· Registered
Joined
·
9,340 Posts
It is funny how people are all for freedom of choice unless it is someone's choice to have a lot of children. So what if the Duggars have more children? They are all loved and cared for and financially supported without tax money, so why is their choice anyone else's business.
I don't have a problem with the Duggars. Have as many kids as you want, if you can afford to feed and clothe them and take care of your medical needs. It's the ones who can't afford them but have them anyway that drive me crazy.
 

· Registered
Joined
·
606 Posts
I don't have a problem with the Duggars. Have as many kids as you want, if you can afford to feed and clothe them and take care of your medical needs. It's the ones who can't afford them but have them anyway that drive me crazy.
I agree. It's the 16 year old mothers who come into county hospitals to give birth, while on welfare, and baby-daddy comes in to say "hey" for 5 minutes then leaves. And she tells her nurses "I want to have as many kids as I can!!"........are you serious!?!?

I don't know if I would go as far as forced sterilization though. Even for felons. That doesn't sit right with me.
But then, I really wanted to forcfully sterilize some parents I saw come through the Pediatric ER I worked. After 3 bad child abuse cases in a row, I wanted to sterilze them ALL myself. :mad:
 

· Registered
Joined
·
4,001 Posts
110% in agreement on mandatory birth control, but not IUD's. Mine tore a hole in my uterus, migrated out, and was poking into my kidney. Had to have surgery to remove the stupid thing.
I can understand that, but there are very few methods of birth control that wouldn't require serious supervision of sorts to ensure it was being used properly and actually utilized.

The pill, I suppose you could watch her take it once a day at a designated time. That could turn into a real battle for many kids though.

Everything else needs to be taken out and put in with use or with each cycle. Not something most parents really want to supervise!

The depo shot, I don't know anything about, I think it lasts a number of years, that might work.
 

· Registered
Joined
·
2,951 Posts
I have a huge problem with the Duggars...sorry. If they didn't make a media circus out of the clown car they run they couldn't support all those kids, nor do I think their living conditions those first few years when the money was just coming in was good. I also don't see their parenting style as a good way to prepare those children for the real independent world and feel sorry for those kids. However, the problem with seriously sterilizing anyone based on income is that individual incomes change so much.

When I was 8 months pregnant with my daughter my ex cheated on me and I left big belly and all. I had no money, a crappy degree, and soon a new born to care for. We never excepted government handouts and instead I worked two jobs and got my Masters. I make 5x what I did when I had her, but had I been judged then and sterilized my son wouldn't be here. Looking at our economy we can see many examples of people who had all the money in the world and a picture perfect family to boot. 6 years later their homes have been foreclosed on, they are jobless, and begging for handouts. Economic status is not permanent and therefore should not be a determining factor for those who are worthy of birth and those who are not. Of course yes your ghetto mom with 5 baby daddies is probably always going to be ghetto, but not all:)
 

· Registered
Joined
·
34,350 Posts
The depo shot, I don't know anything about, I think it lasts a number of years, that might work.
Three months, last I knew. And I know several women whose cycles were messed up because of it. My sister for one. She spent a few months in foster care in her late teens where she was required to get the shot. So this girl went from regular as a clock to no periods and unable to get pregnant for years.
 

· Registered
Joined
·
1,500 Posts
I have a huge problem with the Duggars...sorry. If they didn't make a media circus out of the clown car they run they couldn't support all those kids, nor do I think their living conditions those first few years when the money was just coming in was good.
Actually...the Duggars were debt free before they signed up for their TV show. As for their living conditions prior to building their new house, they had a roof over their heads, food to eat, and parents that love them. Sounds like they had all they NEED. Many kids in this country pray to be so lucky.

As for not preparing them to be in the "real" world, I have never understood what that means. What skills do you think they are not learning to prepare them for the "real" world? Are you saying that you just don't agree with their conservative values? You are against home schooling?
 

· Registered
Joined
·
4,001 Posts
Three months, last I knew. And I know several women whose cycles were messed up because of it. My sister for one. She spent a few months in foster care in her late teens where she was required to get the shot. So this girl went from regular as a clock to no periods and unable to get pregnant for years.
I stand corrected! :) I know nothing about the shot, I thought there was one that lasted a few years but perhaps not. There really isn't a good solution, unfortunately.

I don't really have an issue with the Duggars since we're on the subject. They support them, the oldest seems to be well adjusted to society, and all the kids are well behaved and polite. Can't fault 'em there!
 

· Registered
Joined
·
2,951 Posts
I believe home schooling can most certainly be as enriching in many ways as choosing to school your children outside of the home so no that is not what I meant. I feel that parents should be their children's leaders and primary care givers though. Expecting your children to help raise your other's degrades their childhood on many levels. I believe children should have play dates, time and money for extracurricular activities, and exposure to others outside of their home and community. The saying everything I needed to know I learned in Kindergarten rings very true. Children learn how to socialize and navigate their relationships, work, and personal responsibility by having to cope in environments, and with people that are not their family.

My kids do chores and have to help each other out- thats teaching them to be decent and responsible in their home, and with their loved ones. However, when they are hurt, need guidance, and a snuggle I am there for them. 2 parents can not provide the proper emotional stimulation more than 16 children need, and because of this duties that should be restricted to the parents are forked off on children who by all means should just be getting to be kids. They run a neat and tidy ship at their own children's expense and I find them disgusting honestly. You can be conservative, religious, and home school without enslaving your children because you created a family too big to care for emotionally. These should be kids not mini mommies and daddies:)
 

· Registered
Joined
·
606 Posts
I believe home schooling can most certainly be as enriching in many ways as choosing to school your children outside of the home so no that is not what I meant. I feel that parents should be their children's leaders and primary care givers though. Expecting your children to help raise your other's degrades their childhood on many levels. I believe children should have play dates, time and money for extracurricular activities, and exposure to others outside of their home and community. The saying everything I needed to know I learned in Kindergarten rings very true. Children learn how to socialize and navigate their relationships, work, and personal responsibility by having to cope in environments, and with people that are not their family.

My kids do chores and have to help each other out- thats teaching them to be decent and responsible in their home, and with their loved ones. However, when they are hurt, need guidance, and a snuggle I am there for them. 2 parents can not provide the proper emotional stimulation more than 16 children need, and because of this duties that should be restricted to the parents are forked off on children who by all means should just be getting to be kids. They run a neat and tidy ship at their own children's expense and I find them disgusting honestly. You can be conservative, religious, and home school without enslaving your children because you created a family too big to care for emotionally. These should be kids not mini mommies and daddies:)
That was very well said. However, even with a family of 4 or 5 children, the eldest do take on some responsibilities for the younger. Being the eldest of four, I know I had much more responsibility for my younger siblings than the eldest of 2 children would have. I had extracurricular activities for sure. But I probably didnt have as many as a single child because my parents simply didnt have the time when there were four the had extra activities.

I do think it is virtually impossible for 2 parents to emotionally be there for all those children (19 now!). And the eldest are probably given more respsibility than is ideal. But I dont think the fact that the kids lives arent always perfect, means they are psychologicaly damaged. If you talked to the older Duggar siblings, I'm sure some of them are aware that they miss out on some things and dont see their parents as often as they might like. But would they trade the existence of their younger siblings for those activities? I dont think so.

But then some feel like they missed out on things by NOT being part of large family. There are sacrifices and pro and cons either way. What is ABSOLUTELY neccesary in a child's ubringing (beside food, shelter, and protection) is very subjective, and will vary vastly depending on what part of the world youre in too.
 

· Registered
Joined
·
1,500 Posts
I believe home schooling can most certainly be as enriching in many ways as choosing to school your children outside of the home so no that is not what I meant. I feel that parents should be their children's leaders and primary care givers though. Expecting your children to help raise your other's degrades their childhood on many levels. I believe children should have play dates, time and money for extracurricular activities, and exposure to others outside of their home and community. The saying everything I needed to know I learned in Kindergarten rings very true. Children learn how to socialize and navigate their relationships, work, and personal responsibility by having to cope in environments, and with people that are not their family.
Their children do have exposure to others outside their home. They have others they attend church with, they have company over often (I think they said once per week), they a form of hockey once per week...

Their duties of being one of their sibling's "buddy" doesn't mean they are the primary care giver. I am the youngest of five and my oldest sister helped a lot with my care. I really don't think that she felt cheated out of her childhood because she got me dressed every morning. Kids at school and summer camps often have a "buddy" to help keep track of lots of kids.

2 parents can not provide the proper emotional stimulation more than 16 children need, and because of this duties that should be restricted to the parents are forked off on children who by all means should just be getting to be kids. They run a neat and tidy ship at their own children's expense and I find them disgusting honestly. You can be conservative, religious, and home school without enslaving your children because you created a family too big to care for emotionally. These should be kids not mini mommies and daddies:)
You are absolutely entitled to your opinion, but this is not a fact that 2 parent CANNOT provide proper emotional stimulation for more than 16 kids. Where are the statistics to prove that? I know a lot of parents with one child who can't provide proper parenting.

Both of the Duggars are full time parents. They are with their children 24/7. They stay up late spending time with their older children while the younger ones are in bed. Considering that 30% of America's children live in single parent homes and many others in households with 2 working parents, I don't think there is that huge of a difference in time spent with the kids.

I think "enslaving" is really harsh language. Having chores to do is pretty far from being "enslaved". But, compared to the majority of kids their ages who are self centered and lazy I could see how it might look that way in comparison.
 

· Registered
Joined
·
20 Posts
Their children do have exposure to others outside their home. They have others they attend church with, they have company over often (I think they said once per week), they a form of hockey once per week...

Their duties of being one of their sibling's "buddy" doesn't mean they are the primary care giver. I am the youngest of five and my oldest sister helped a lot with my care. I really don't think that she felt cheated out of her childhood because she got me dressed every morning. Kids at school and summer camps often have a "buddy" to help keep track of lots of kids.



You are absolutely entitled to your opinion, but this is not a fact that 2 parent CANNOT provide proper emotional stimulation for more than 16 kids. Where are the statistics to prove that? I know a lot of parents with one child who can't provide proper parenting.

Both of the Duggars are full time parents. They are with their children 24/7. They stay up late spending time with their older children while the younger ones are in bed. Considering that 30% of America's children live in single parent homes and many others in households with 2 working parents, I don't think there is that huge of a difference in time spent with the kids.

I think "enslaving" is really harsh language. Having chores to do is pretty far from being "enslaved". But, compared to the majority of kids their ages who are self centered and lazy I could see how it might look that way in comparison.
Actually, in their tv show they said they try to spend like 3 minutes with each kid every day. It was some ridiculously low number like that. MINUTES a day! That's it! My phone conversations with my mother even now are more than just a couple of minutes. Kids need one on one time with their parents. It's important, and yes, even people with only one kid underestimate its importance all the time. Can't imagine why the therapy industry is booming....

Enslavement seems about right for what the girls are taught. These kids are sheltered beyond belief. They're taught to wear dresses, and only spend time with "good" church-going others. Kids need to know what the world really is. These kids are taught to be judgmental to anyone who doesn't conform to their idea of "modesty" (most of the world). Don't believe me? Watch the episode of Say Yes to the Dress where they appear. Then there was the marriage of the oldest son. The bride's dad took her aside and went on and on about how glad he was that she would have a new man to tell her what to do. These girls aren't learning to be independent, they're learning to be slaves to men. The bras have been burned, and they should have a choice if they want to be submissive or not. They are not taught any other way though. They are not taught to learn about the world. That to me, is a tragedy.

I have no desire to tell anyone who can or cannot reproduce or how many kids they can have. I do, however, have a problem with all parents who think women aren't as valuable as men. It can be so destructive to the female mind. I also have a problem with people thinking it's perfectly acceptable to force sterilization on anyone. I don't care if it's a felon or someone with a disorder *you* (general you here) don't approve of. I don't like people telling me to spay my dog and I don't like people telling me members of my family should be neutered.

And just because I'm a complete hypocrite, I will be spaying/neutering my children. It just seems like the best course of action, since I already know they're going to be just like their dad. :p
 

· Registered
Joined
·
445 Posts
Just FYI, before people go spouting off what the Duggars as parents can or cannot do emotionally, physically, blah blah blah, maybe you should make a treck up here to Northwest Arkansas and ask them yourself and their children. I'm sure a lot of you would have a rude awakening. I think it's in no way your place to say those children don't get emotional support they deserve because you do not know. To say something without fact is ignorant. Maybe people should be more bash happy about the Westboro Baptist Church's children. They are the ones that need some emotional stability from their parents! Now that's obvious when you watch their disgusting protests.
 
41 - 60 of 100 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top