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I know this sounds horrible and will get flamed for this, but here's my confession.

I often wonder if I got the right breed.

Don't get me wrong. My dog is fine.

She's more or less calm, well-behaved, well-trained, and not aggressive or possessive or hyper or suffering from any major issues that seem to be written about on here.

But I just love Golden Retrievers (and some Golden Doodles) and see how much they love being petted, love being around people, and just seem happy all the time.

And I get a little disappointed...because my dog does NOT really love being petted (she tolerates it for a few seconds then skitters off to a distance -- except with me ), is fairly standoffish with strangers, and just doesn't seem to have that "love me, pet me" attitude.

Granted, she loves being AROUND me and AROUND the family pack.

But at a distance. Just staring.

A great low maintenance dog certainly, and loyal, but not quite what I was hoping for I guess.
 

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No I would never wish I've gotten a different dog. I wouldn't trade my dog for the world, she loves being petted. Every dog has a different personality, there could be Golden Retrievers/Doodles that don't tollerate petting either it just depends on the dog and the way you train it etc.
 

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This is a similar problem in many human relationships; the love given isn't appreciated or recognized because it isn't the way of love the person wants/needs. Try to see the areas of loyalty and love she does share for you AND ONLY YOU :) GSD's are a different breed, although many can be full of love and utter goof balls with their loved ones, one of their main traits is being aloof. Reserved. Very cautious and specific on whom they door out their affections. This is extremely humbling when you recognize that if you alone are receiving any special affection or her way of showing love, it is reserved for YOU. She doesn't just willy nilly discard affection to anyone - just he one who earned it... GSD's aren't Goldens or labs, you earn their respect and love :)

No flaming here, just encouraging you to look for those special ways and respect it. For her to show any overly exert affection is out of character for her, so if and when it is done, know that it was a special gift. Look for her other ways of showing her love for you. As people, we can tell one another what we need and thus accommodate for that, even when it may be uncomfortable.... The dog can't do that, she allows the hugs because she loves you, but I bet she would without another thought, lay her life down for you... Which is love? Both... Just thoughts :)
 

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Hineni7's post reflects my attitude.....nice post!

I also see the intelligence of the breed and it keeps me on my toes at times...okay..most all the time.

I have come to find over the decades...many a GSD will "meet" the human on the dog's terms and if this "meeting" is forced upon them to any degree, they will go the other way.


SuperG
 

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Thank you :)

I agree, GSD's can certainly rebuff forced affection and make it seem like the dog doesn't care about one at all. In actuality, if we find the way the dog likes to receive love and attention, their 'love language' to borrow a term, they will often open up and all our way of loving a bit more easily.... Maybe never to the extent one may want (if you want golden type love and she isn't that way), but enough to fill the void... I've had both types; overtly reserved and tolerably affectionate, and extremely loving and affectionate (for me)...
 

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Arctic, how long have you had her? Love may need to grow. Start to do fun things with her even if you don't feel like it. Once you start to learn about her passions, you may enjoy her more. If you continue to doubt and feel like you have the wrong dog, then maybe she is the wrong dog for you and she will be better off with someone she can better bond with.
I have had a dog that I didn't bond with well but we had 4 at that time so he kinda tagged along and we kept him. He was fine in his own ways and therefore respected and enjoyed as well.
 

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You don't mean that you don't like the dog so much as you're wondering if this is the right breed? Yes, I have a very high maintenance rescue who has been a handful since Day 1, and who I occasionally wish we'd never adopted, but I've learned a lot from this dog, too, so it's been beneficial. Sometimes I'm exhausted by the energy it takes to maintain the dog, though.

You didn't say how old your dog is. Behavior isn't all hereditary, some is learned. Do you try to shape your dog's behavior by giving rewards when she comes over to you? Does she have a special spot on her body that she likes you touching, like her abdomen or behind her ears? When she's acting affectionate, reward her with patting, a treat, attention. When she walks away, ignore.

For GSDs being around people is rewarding in itself. We had a very friendly female GSD, who liked to be touched and loved but preferred settling herself in the middle of where we were. If we were scattered all over the house, she found a spot right in the center, equal distance from each one of us. That is their job, to keep track of family members.
 

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Hinein, great response! Bang on!

And, I know I got the dog I wanted, right from the moment the breeder emailed me his photo @ 6 weeks! I fell in love with a picture, everyday is a new experience, a new joy..:D:D. Give yourself time, you too will find that bond!
 

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I have GSDs and goldens, plus a couple others and they are all my shadows. I sit down, they are all there, I go to the bathroom, they are all there. They all love to be near me and they love getting pet. If I take a nap on the couch, they rotate to lay by my feet. I don't think its a breed thing, but more an individual dog thing. My husky/greyhound is just now after a year starting to ask for affection, he has always followed me around, but it ended there. Now he wants to be by me and loves belly rubs:)
 

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I know this sounds horrible and will get flamed for this, but here's my confession.

I often wonder if I got the right breed.

Don't get me wrong. My dog is fine.

She's more or less calm, well-behaved, well-trained, and not aggressive or possessive or hyper or suffering from any major issues that seem to be written about on here.

But I just love Golden Retrievers (and some Golden Doodles) and see how much they love being petted, love being around people, and just seem happy all the time.

And I get a little disappointed...because my dog does NOT really love being petted (she tolerates it for a few seconds then skitters off to a distance -- except with me ), is fairly standoffish with strangers, and just doesn't seem to have that "love me, pet me" attitude.

Granted, she loves being AROUND me and AROUND the family pack.

But at a distance. Just staring.

A great low maintenance dog certainly, and loyal, but not quite what I was hoping for I guess.
I wouldn't give up hope just yet. Your dog is only 9 months old.

Mine is turning 3 next month and just recently, within the last 6 months, has become a "love pig."

GSDs are slow to mature and you have to earn their trust and affection.
Your girl may just surprise you.
 

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I wouldn't give up hope just yet. Your dog is only 9 months old.

Mine is turning 3 next month and just recently, within the last 6 months, has become a "love pig."

GSDs are slow to mature and you have to earn their trust and affection.
Your girl may just surprise you.
This seems to be true with the experiences I have had with 3 GSDs....I now say they are 2 year project, I have heard some others say 3-4 years. My current gal came on line a bit sooner than 2 years but that could have been for many reasons.

To the OP....Don't stop doing the proper thing....hang in there and all your patience, frustration, hopes and EFFORTS will be paid back with dividends beyond your expectations.

SuperG
 

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Just curious--Did you do any research on GSDs before you got her? The aloofness, especially with people outside the household, is inherent in the breed. Usually they attach themselves more closely with one member of the household, although the whole house is considered their 'pack.' Is there anyone else in your household that possibly she has picked?

You can improve your relationship with her, as others have pointed out. Both of my current GSDs are rescues, and the male bonded himself to me immediately--he picked me as his person the first time we met, and he was 2 years old. The female is a retired breeding girl, nearly 6 years old, and she took some months to really bond with us, although she had accepted from the beginning the fact that she now lived with us. In bonding with her it did take a lot of exploring what she liked, didn't like, etc. How she likes to play, when she wants attention. (Sometimes their way of asking for attention can be subtle, you may miss it at first.) She loves to have her butt scratched, just above her tail, and I have taught her that there are other spots that she can't get to quite so well, and she has decided she really likes that, too, the ears especially. We have had her for a year now, and it has been about the last 3-4 months that her real personality has finally blossomed, and she is a delight--with us. Not so much with anyone outside the household, but that's okay, we accept that in her.

I am sorry you feel that way about your girl. I do so hope, for her sake, that you realize she is worth the effort of getting to know her better, and bonding with her--sometimes it does take effort. No, they are not like a golden, but for many of us, that is what we like about them.

Susan
 

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I'm the opposite I wanted a dog that didn't always wanna be petted lol my boy is six months and loves the love but he's getting more aloof. Might sound bad but I really don't like over friendly, excited for strangers, type of dogs at all. I don't like when peoples dogs come to me to pet them when I didn't wanna lol.
 

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I can't complain. My GSD boy is up my butt 24/7 and that was exactly what I wanted.

He is actually so attached currently he can't be left with other ppl. He's only 4.5 months, so we will be working to remedy this...
 

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I definitely find the aloof total connection offered by a GSD as a deeper more enduring connection that that by a cuddly dog like a golden or a spaniel but GSDs are not for everyone. The eyes. Make eye connection with your dog - not staring at her eyes but gazing into them. You may be surprised.

Some dogs take longer to connect. My current dog was about 18 months before we really bonded.
 
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Mine follows me EVERYWHERE. She's 4 months old. When all my family is outside she'll be around them but when I come out, she always comes to me. And I'm the one who feeds her and loves on her. I really love my dog......I don't much care for over affectionate dogs either. But your GSD does love you, I'm sure. Like someone else said on this thread, spend more time with her, play games with her, ect. Maybe if only YOU feed her meals? Like someone else said when she comes close, give her a treat. :)
 

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So far I am happy with my GSD puppy, and my other two dogs I wouldn't want to replace with someone else's dog.

Did you get the right breed? Yes, dogs are all dogs and being a different breed only makes their appearance and traits vary slightly. Did you get a compatible personality? Maybe not. Some GSD's are friendly and some are not.

If you raised her from a puppy then some of her personality has been contributed by you and the environment she was raised in. If she was from a shelter then who knows where she has been and I would give her some time.

Sounds like you are a little hurt and disappointed by how's she's turned out. Nothing is set in stone, you could have got a different breed but then you could have still ended up in the same situation.

If you truly wish for another dog then give her to someone who will appreciate her and get an adult dog with the personality you want. When you obtain a puppy you take a gamble on what kind of dog they will be when they get older. A gamble that usually pays off :)

She sounds like she favors you out of all others, loves you even. What more do you want??
 

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I have a lab and a german shepherd so I've got dogs who are kind of both at the opposite ends of that friendliness spectrum. They've both got their problems (Rocky the GSD is a chewer and a barker, and he's always been like that. Bella the lab is very attached to the people she loves and gets bummed out if Mike, her primary caretaker leaves for a day or two.) but they're both great dogs and I know they love me and are loyal to me even if they show it in different ways.

I think maybe you came into getting a dog with expectations that you shouldn't have had. Some dogs are known for being friendlier and some are more aloof but every dog is different, even when you're just looking at dogs of the same breed.

Sure, my lab is friendly but she's most likely going to be uncomfortable around you for a while even if you're someone she knows but doesn't see on a constant basis. Rocky will bark and be kind of wary if you're a stranger but if you come around more than a few times he'll love you and will want you to play with him and pet him the entire time you're there.
 

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When my GSD was younger, he was friendly with everyone. Now that he has matured, he can be kind of aloof to those people he doesn't know. He is super cuddly with me. He not only wants to be with me all of the time, but has to be touching. He's either leaning on me, lol, or laying across my feet or sometimes standing on my foot, but we *must* have contact.
My husband has a female Cowdog who wants to always be with him, but usually does not want to be in contact. She is loving, but on her terms. He tries to hug her or get her to sit on his lap and you can tell she does NOT like that.
I always tell him that if he wants a lap dog and can stand 80 lbs., just call Hans over and invite him up!! :D
In my experience, with many pets over many years, if I want cuddly, I choose a male. I know that isn't everyone's experience -just mine. :)
 
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