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Discussion Starter #1
My pup is 6 months and totally used to getting lots of exercise and attention. I don't expect him to understand, but I don't really feel like walking/ playing/ training right now. I feel bad because he's dropping toys in my lap and really wants my focus, but it's just not there.
 

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What's causing the grief? I will say that you are actually doing a good thing by not engaging with him while he is dropping/throwing toys at you.
 

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Grief takes time to work through, and there are many sources of help out there as well. Call centers, chat rooms, or grief councillors are tools to be utalized. Grief is natural but if it's taking over your life then you might need outside help.
 

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Maybe your pup is trying to tell you something. Everyone greives in ther own way and time. My dogs always helped me move on.
 

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I know the feeling. But the last thing you need to do is heap guilt on top of greif.

Of course you have to take care of the puppy's needs... but give yourself permission to do it without your heart in it right now. You don't have to engage with him every time he solicits your attention. In fact, it may be better if you don't. Studies have shown that puppies only need 20 minutes a day of engagement with their person to maintain a bond. If you can just do that for now, you don't have to beat yourself up for not catering to his every whim. Take care of yourself right now. You need to get through this.

At a later stage, you may find that playing and training with your pup is helpful.
 

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Dogs can sense when something is wrong. Or if your not feeling good. I just had a knee replacement at the end of Jan. Dog would rarely leave my side. Daughter came over with her Husky an she beelined it up to the bedroom to see where I went to. It was funny to see the dogs trying to get as close as they could to me. Then the Husky got up an laid on top of me :p They stayed there a while but would keep on checking up on me.
We have also had some family deaths lately.. When both the dogs are at my house they run around like chickens with their heads cut off. But they always stop an come over to cheer us up without saying a word.
 

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Discussion Starter #7
What's causing the grief? I will say that you are actually doing a good thing by not engaging with him while he is dropping/throwing toys at you.
miscarriage :( curious: why do you say it's good that I'm not playing when he does the toy in the lap thing.

Freestep - Thanks for that. I have been walking him even though it's the last thing I want to do (and of course, I just have to run into all the neighbors today). I will try and give him 20 minutes, I think I can muster it. He's getting more crate time than usual, so the guilty feeling is hard, but I hope he'll forgive me :) I hope by next week that I'll be tough enough that we can start our agility classes (they are scheduled to start Monday) - he seems to really enjoy it and I was looking forward to working with him.

Shade - Thanks, I think I'm still in the "normal" range of grieving for now, but it is the first time I've really been crazy distracted from the pup and like Freestep said, was heaping guilt onto grief.
 

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Heartfelt condolences for you.

I, too, am a member of the club that nobody wants to belong to. I know everyone grieves in their own way; but my dogs are what really pulled me through.

I might not have done anything else during the day, but I went out and walked with my dogs. I didn't want to. I did it for them, but I always felt better after I walked.

I hope your dog can bring you comfort too.
 

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I'm sorry. Take your time and remember that dogs don't have great memories nor do they hold grudges so don't feel guilty about being distracted.
 

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I'm sorry for your loss :( I was 5 when my mom had a miscarriage with her third child and it was hard on the whole family. Even though it's been over 20 years I still think of my brother or sister who I haven't met yet

I know we'll meet again in the next life and I remember reading somewhere a quote that's stuck with me. I can't remember it precisely but it references the fact that there are certain people who are just too special to spend much time on this world and are waiting and holding our seats for us at God's side for the day that the rest of us can join them.
 

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I am sorry for your loss. They can seriously help you along. When my mom was sick and shortly after passed, my dogs were there for me. They put up with all the weird hours they ate and went out because I was busy with my mom. At the end of the day they curled up and slept with me and just knowing they were there and petting them made me feel better. I personally don't find anything wrong with him trying to get you to play. In my world it just means he is trying to cheer you up and what is a better way then having those big eyes looking at you tilting his head, like he's saying come on and play...it will make you feel better:)
 
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