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I have raised my pups with many of you on this forum over the years, but have become distant the past few months. Today my situation came full circle and I feel like I need to come back and share with the people that have been my friends and amazingly supportive over the years. Please bare with me as I try to get this out, as I have only shared with a few close forum friends my situation, but didn't tell even them the entire story for shame of what I allowed to happen.


In November of last year I left my husband of 10 years. He'd cheated on me for probably the 5th time, among numerous other things, and I could not continue in the downward spiral of depression that I'd been living in. Every summer, my four children go off to spend with grandparents, of which I am very grateful. The summer prior to me leaving, I fell into another bad depression spell as I was left alone with just my husband and the dogs. My dogs make me incredibly happy in the fact that they are 100% always loving and loyal, so in my unclear state of mind and loneliness, I purchased Kaleb, my 3rd GSD. Yes, I know... What better way to cure unhappiness, than a bubbly new puppy? :(


In September, shortly after the kids returned, was when I found out my husband cheated again. His rebuttal was to give me and the kids 2 weeks to get out. I had to go to his commander. It was November before I found a suitable place for me, the kids, and the dogs. We went from living in a huge house sitting on the water with private boat dock and dog run already built, to a tiny 3 bedroom home, but we had a fenced yard and no carpet, so that was great. Because I refused to try and work things out, my husband refused to provide any type support. I went to his commander again, and they told me there was nothing they could do, that I would have to wait until the divorce was final. I was struggling daily to feed four children and 3 large dogs, and my mother was doing what she could to help me get by. I battled the thought of rehoming them everyday, but by April I knew that I could not do it anymore and I made the decision to rehome Kaiya and Kaleb, and to keep Achilles.


Kaiya went to a wonderful home with the sister of a friend at work. They'd just lost their 14 yr old boxer, their children are grown and out of the house, and she became their sole child. We keep in touch through Facebook, and she posts pictures and updates all the time. It still pains me to see her photos, but I know she is happy, spoiled, and well cared for.


Kaleb was a different situation. After trying different avenues with nothing panning out, I got desperate, and placed an ad in the local paper. :( I thought he was going to a great home with a woman who had an active teenaged son who adored GSD's. She said she grew up with GSD's and when she came to the house, Kaleb immediately took to her. She asked lots of questions. We went over his commands, etc and talked for over an hour. She was going to surprise her son. My only concern was that he was going to a good home, so I only charged a $100 rehoming fee. She gave me a check, and took him home. My boys were crying their eyes out in their bedroom as he left. Kaleb was their favorite. This was a Saturday. The following day we exchanged a few more texts, she asked more questions, and I felt good about giving him to her.


We banked at the same place, so on Monday I went to deposit the check. They told me it was written on a closed account.:( I tried to call and text her, but she wouldn't answer or respond. I drove by the address on the check and it was no good. I gave her his papers, shot records, microchip tag/info. Everything... I had no idea where he was... I went to the DA's office and they gave me a stack of paperwork and processes to file fraudulent check charges. I didn't follow through on filing charges and just kept telling myself that maybe the rest of her story was true and that she would still take good care of him.


It has eaten me up for months. The FB page I made for my dogs has been barely visited. I returned to the forum for about a week in June, but it hurt too much to see everyone's posts about their dogs. How could I be so stupid and let him go like that. I didn't know where he was or what she did with him or if he was okay...


Last night I got a phone call from the Humane Society. The police had picked up Kaleb wandering a road somewhere far from the address she gave me, but they wouldn't tell me where. The microchip was still registered to me. I went down there first thing this morning. I told them what happened and they thought I wanted to surrender him. I told them, NO WAY, he was coming home with me!! They took me back to see him and explained that he was dog aggressive. I told them he absolutely WAS NOT! My poor boy was probably just scared and confused. When we approached the cage I saw that he was filthy and matted and looked nothing like he did when I gave him to her. He immediately started barking at us. I said, "Kaleb! HI BABY!", and pushed my hand through the wires. He smelled my hand and I swear it was like he'd been hit with a taser. He instantly buckled and started howling and crying with relief and happiness to finally see MOM again. I couldn't stop the tears.


The HS worker that was with me said, "OMG!" and started crying too. "He's like a different dog!" she said. He'd instantly turned back to my sweet pup. I wanted to hold him, but she couldn't open the cage. He was crying so badly and I could only barely touch him with my fingers. I wasn't able to bring him home because they said he had to be neutered. I had to pay a $75 fee to get him out, but it covered the neuter. It will be done in the morning, and he is coming home on Thursday. It hurt me so much to have to leave him there, but I feel so much better knowing that he is okay and coming back home with me.


I am still struggling right now, but I will do what I have to to keep him until I can find a great home with someone that will truly love and care for him. The kids will be returning from summer vacation soon and they will be beside themselves to see him again. Life gets so hard sometimes that you struggle on what is the right decision to make. It has pained me not to be able to come here and share about my situation or my dogs because of the backlash I see whenever someone talks about rehoming their dogs. I love my dogs whole heartedly, and always will, but if I cannot adequately provide for them, how can I be a good owner?? Anyways, it feels good to finally get that out. That is my confession...
 

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I am sorry you had to go through all of that :( I hope everything gets better for you soon.
 

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Lakl, we all have made decisions and choices, that we regret. I have made Many :(

Your story will have a Happy Ending. I have so much respect for a person who makes a transparent confession. Honesty is the first step toward recovery, from any situation. You need help, right now, as we all do from time to time. And by sharing your circumstance, you're on the path to receive it now :)

Tell us all about your dog, where you are, and what he needs!




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:hugs: Lakl I was wondering where you were.

I'm so sorry you are going thru all this. You will come out of this stronger. How incredibly sad that your ex is so willing to hurt his children. I know you did a lot of research before buying your dogs. Will the breeder not take Kaleb back?
 

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Discussion Starter #6
Kaleb is a sweet, sweet boy. I just want to get him home and reassess his behavior and what he may have experienced in the past few months. Just make sure he is really okay. I will give him some time to settle and readjust. Achilles will be so happy to see him. :)

Things will be tight, especially with school starting, but I will just do what I have to. I already went and picked up some more food. Tomorrow I will ask the butcher at work to give me some nice raw bones. I'm sure his teeth will need them. We are in Biloxi, MS.
 

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Keep us posted. It sounds like you will keep him for now, but if it turns out you do need to re-home him, we are all here to help this time around :)


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MS?! I have no idea why I thought you were in Canada!
 

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I don't really 'know' you up here, but that was a great story and I am glad you got him back. I am sure he will be glad to be back home and maybe you will be able to keep him. It sounds like he was meant to be home with you anyway.
 

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I'm baffled at what his commander said. I'm in the military as well and I'm almost certain he could do more for you. That's ridiculous.
I'm sorry you're going through this!
 

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OMG! I knew the beginning of this story, but not the middle and end. I am SO sorry. :( It sounds like Kaiya has a great home, how horrible that it didn't work out the way you expected with Kaleb. Is there any way you can keep him?
 

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I would LOVE to keep him, but at this point, the soon to be ex feels like anything he contributes financially or otherwise is just a means to help ME and not his children. So not only am I constrained financially, but I'm doing everything on my own as well. I so want to see Kaleb in a home where he can be worked in some form or activity. He is a working dog and craves the training and activity.

It was the reason I decided to keep Achilles. Because of his hips, he has never required the amount of physical stimulation as the other two.

I will be so happy to get him home though. And just for the record, despite the struggle and exhaustion of doing all of this on my own, I am FAR happier than I was just a year ago. It has been like coming out of a deep sleep and I am thankful that I have managed to keep "most" of my family together in the process.
 

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Hopefully once the divorce is final he'll have to pay child support, and things will be better.

It takes a certain kind of man to be a serial cheater to a good wife, and to walk away from his responsibilities to his children. 'Nuff said! :angryfire:
 

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Your one of my favorites on here Lakl. I'm sorry about what has happened and I really hope there is some way you can keep him.
 

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Lakl - I totally respect you and the decisions you have made. Life isn't always easy and you did everything you could to ensure a proper home for your dogs given the hand you were dealt.

I know it was hard to share your story and I'm so happy you have. There is so much we all can learn from your experiances. Big hugs to you. Big ole tight hugs to you!!!!
 

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Your story made me very sad, you did the best you can and hard as it is your priorities were in order, people just suck sometimes, they present themselves a lot better than they are, I once sold a beautiful young Arabian horse and a beautiful TWH mare to a friend of my sisters, based on all my sister said of her, which unfortunately was based on what she told my sister, a year later my sister said she had left her husband and left the horses with her ex, who didn't know one end of a horse from the other. I drove to the house and the husband wasn't home, the neighbor said his son fed the horses for him as he was never home, I went in the back and found the two horses in the barn in stalls with manure to their knees, dirty filthy water and their bones sticking out where you could hang a coat on the hip bones, the hard part was they nickered to me when they saw me, despite their condition, I was so enraged I went home, got my trailer and confiscated them right than and there, I never heard from any of them, they couldn't care less, both horses are happy and healthy today and I learned a valuable lesson, I no longer just trust anyone at face value, its just a sad fact of life.
 

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Your story is heartbreaking. I am so sorry!!! If I could help you out I would! I will say, you living off base, you are OWED his BAH. if you are legally separated, he is NOT entitled to the BAH. that is for you and your children, not his at all!!! Please PLEASE contact JAG. Sometimes commanders will only look out for their troops and screw the wives. Please talk to JAG. I dealt with something very similar, and had to get JAG involved. They were amazing!


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^^I was raised a military brat and this is what I always thought and what my mother told me! I didn't actually talk to his commander the second time, I spoke with his MSgt. HE told me that he'd spoken to the 1st shirt and the Commander and they said there was nothing they could do. I almost felt like he was trying to protect my husband as they work closely together. He even asked me if I had family I could go to for help. I told him I just didn't understand how the military would allow one of their soldiers to NOT support their family?? I left there in tears frustrated. Maybe I didn't go high enough?? I am going to make some more calls in the morning.

It's been over 8 months since we separated. I've never even pushed an amount on him, just asked that he give me SOMETHING, anything to help me keep a roof over their heads. He has since moved into military housing, using the kids names to get a 3 bedroom home, yet has 2 of his friends living with him. One of them is also military, so he's getting full BAH as well. My kids have never even stayed there, as he will only pick them up for a couple hours at most one day on the weekends.

The only help I need is if/when the times comes that I need to place Kaleb, perhaps the forum could assist me in finding a good home since we have members all over the country, and I'm sure closer to my area. My apprehension has always been that I would like him to go with someone I can trust to take care of him and give him the life he deserves. A home like Kaiya is in where I can get updates or pics from time to time and know that he is okay and loved and well cared for.
 
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