Brutus is a 12 yr old pitbull. He is my oldman, He was brought to me by a store owner, that is located down the street from me. He had been found in a cardboard shoe box with his litter mates. He was 2 wks old. Bru had been shaved, cut, burnt by cigs etc. over the years he has had his moments. He bit two of my cousins when he was small, and at the time i contemplated putting him to sleep because i had been one of those that believed that all pitbulls were bad. especially since he had been so badly abused when he was born. The one cousin, he bit when she grabbed and twisted his, scrotum, she didnt know what they were, and tried yanking them to see if they came off. Obviously they didnt. I began obedience training him him more, i spent hours with him a day, trying to ensure that i could keep him under control. I had read somewhere taht they more a pitbull is handled with a gentle and loving hand, the nicer a dog they grow up to be. Brutus has been a fantastic dog for most of the time that we have been together. The real calming effect in his life had been our Wolf cross, King,
King ran a tight ship so to speak, lol, He refused to allow ANY DOG, to treat one of his humans in a rough or unbefitting manner. King, did not violence, growling, etc and would quickly send Brutus rolling if her heard it or seen his lip curl. This did not happen often, but when it did, the minute we would punish or disipline for a better word, Brutus knew, King would be upset with him and either roll him or snub him completely.
when King passed, Brutus went through a period of mourning, and then when we brought Bearla home, he had decided, He was going to be big dog in the house, lol, that is until bearla got larger than him, then he realized, "ok, maybe i better not push it, shes almost as big as King. TODAY, she is actually as big as King was. Brutus is typical of Pitbulls in one way, he only has eyes for one human in his pack, Me. i guess because im the one who cared for him, bottle fed him etc. If i leave him, he is a basket case and drives everyone crazy with his whinning for the first couple of hours. The whole time im away he sits staring at the door or out a window, waiting. If no one is home with him, he becomes destructive so i have to keep him kenneled or locked in a empty room with his water and a toy until i get back. if i dont have him in a empty room he will rip the furniture apart, chew everything and become out of control. Most of these reactions started last year, and the vet claims the reason is doggy dementia. The poor old man is getting on in age and is suffering from various issues that a old dog does. He is going blind, his one eye is completely clouded as a result of cataracts. His liver is failing, his kidneys are failing, and he has hip and shoulder issues taht cause him alot of pain. He also has numerous small cysts and tumors developing all over his body. I adore my babies, and i would do anything for them. Sometime s i think i go too far and i dont know when to let go. Ive been baby sitting Misty, bearlas sis this weekend, as well as the chihuhua and for the most part i have been having problems with brutus. He doesnt want to listen AT ALL. i was doing some obedience training with the 3 girls and i had wanted Bru to take part in it. He down right refused to the point hat when i tried to bring him in the room, he bit my hand. this is the second time he has bitten me in less than 3 wks. i tired putting him through his paces in a room with just the two of us, but all he did was lay down and stare at me with half closed eyes. My heart sunk when he did that because it was like i was hearing my mom in law or father in law telling me it time to let go. every time i think that it may be time i start remembering me holding him in my hands, bottle feeding him, walking the dirt roads up north with him, watching deer as he sat staring at them silently wondering what they were. I remember him running the fields with King, nuzzling me when i lay in bed sick. He was a saving force for me, many times when i battled cancer. I remember the way he stared at my oldest daughters belly when she was pregnant with Tara because he had his head on her lap and Tara had kicked him. He was so fascinated by it. How he loved her when she first came home. As time has gone on though, he has began to try to round her up, and growls when she touches him and it makes me afraid, because she is my angel andi wont let anyone or anything hurt her.
I know its his age but its hard. I cant walk him anymore, because he can no longer make it around the block, unless i have the babies wagon. the past few days, all he wants to do is sleep and he doesnt want anything or anyone near him or touching him. i sat beside him on the floor earlier and put my hand on him, talking to him quietly and he growled quietly as if to say, just leave me alone. im watching him as i write this, im sitting on the couch with the lap top, bearla beside me sleeping and Misty at my feet with bearlas bone. Annah, is tucked in the corner of the couch beside bearla, i just noticed, lol Bru is laying curled near the tv. He doenst want to eat, drink or go out which is unusual for him. i had to force him out this morning and he just stood there and then lay and put his head on his paw.
he cries in his sleep at times, and its killing me. i think he is ready to go but im not, i dont know how to do this. I held King in my arms when they had to put him to sleep when they couldnt operate as a result of his age. he had torsion at the time. He goes off on his own more and more and i think i figured out why he takes off out the back door if he sees the large door open and the glass one closed. i think he is trying to go off and pass on. I dont know how to let hm go, i told him this morning that its okay to rest and to go to King, if he feels its time but i dont know how to help him do it. what if its not time and he is trying to just rest or what if its that he doesnt like having the other dogs around right now. How do i make the determination? How do i know for sure?
Hes such a good boy and i love him so so much. i had thought that i loved him diferently than bearla but i dont, this is tearing my heart apart.
I m sorry for complaining here.