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I have a double bed, and I swear Babs can take up most of it.

Babs starts out draped across the pillows on the top of the bed. She likes her comfort. I could be mean and order her off until I get in, but I don't, I figure that she just wants me to use her as a pillow.

Well that is usually uncomfortable or hot after a few seconds, so I tell her that I need part of the bed. She gives me her best Civil Disobedience look and digs in.

I get out of the bed and lift her into a longwise position and get back in. She gets in a huff and moves herself longwise next to me with her butt up near my head.

I tell her I want her head up by me not her butt. Come on -- no Butt! So she will move and leave her head down by my waist, but at least the she has her head up.

By then though, I have to go to the bathroom and get out.

So she moves back in position up by the pillows.

Usually, she jumps out of the bed and lies on the floor shortly after I get in and get her situated so I have some room. But that was before Shelob.

I am sitting there in my bare feet doing what no one can do for me, and I see her, Shelob, giant black spider with near human intelligence.

Shelob looks quite well fed and about the size of my hand. And she is grinning at me. Yes, spiders do too grin!

After looking at the spider for a few minutes, and seeing Babs up there on my pillows offering NO help whatsoever, I started to reach in the OPPOSITE direction for my shoe.

The Spider scuttled quickly in between the towel shelves and the wall where the shoe would not fit. Hmmmph!!!

After a while, she came out from the back and started staring at me again. Like she has never seen so much blood in the same package before! I reached for a plastic bag, and she just continued to grin, knowing I would never try to kill her with that.

I chose Shelob because, although she is deadly and old and evil she KILLS all her babies. And believe me, you do not want more than one of these hanging around.

I woke up this morning and Babsy was lying down the center of the bed taking up at least two thirds of it. I was hanging over the edge half awake trying not to lose my grip and feed Shelob.
 

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:rofl: You should write a book of short stories! :) I would buy it!
 
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