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I could use some advice on our situation. Kane is 18 months old, intact male and I am clearly 'his person.' My husband works out of town and has a 10 days away/10 days home rotation.

Kane used to excitedly welcome him home with wiggles and kisses; but for the past 3 months or so wants nothing to do with him when he gets home. He shies away from him and when my husband tries to give him physical affection, he growls. After a day or so, all is well.

We have a difference of opinion on how to deal with this. I think Kane is just stressed and needs some time to adjust. I ask my husband to just leave him alone and wait until Kane relaxes into the situation.

My husband, on the other hand, is of the mindset that he should be able to do whatever he wants with the dog and forces the issue by continuing to hug/kiss him and then corrects him for growling.

He thinks it's a dominance issue and I think Kane knows that every time "Dad" comes home our schedules and routines are different and the energy in the house changes drastically.....I'm very mellow and my husband is super high-octane energy.

I think it's my responsibility to stop this negative interaction and make sure Kane is not overly stressed and then corrected for growling. My husband thinks I should stay out of it and let him deal with Kane in his own way.

Maybe we're both wrong and should be dealing with it in a different way...any thoughts?
 

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I'm no expert on how to handle this but if I was in this situation and I was the hubby I would start with building trust with the dog again. For whatever reason the dog is not fond of him at the moment. Even with a 10day on/off schedule it's still possible to establish routine. Which I see it with my own dogs, that they do well with routine. I would make sure I was the one to take him for his morning walk, or play fetch or whatever it is he likes doing. Maybe make it routine that when he is around that he's the one to feed. Stuff like that might help? The dog is still young and maybe never truly bonded with your husband and because of the 10 on/off thing the dog see's that you an both do without him perhaps he's just lost interest in him. That's a lot of speculation and assumptions on my part. I'm more thinking out loud about how I would attempt to start going about this in his shoes.

I'm not sure what he's doing to correct the dog that's growling at him, but that might be making things worse. I would consult with a trainer on that bit.
 

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Maybe we're both wrong and should be dealing with it in a different way...any thoughts?
Or .... maybe ... "you are correct and he is wrong? :) "

It sounds like more of a "people" issue than a dog issue to me?? I don't see what a "Trainer" can do for your situation??

We see on the news "Troops" coming back from "years" deployment and there dogs "happily" greeting them! You can't "force" a bond with a dog ... but you can develope one.

I would "suggest" that he could further with the dog by first "ignoring him" and "Walking the Dog" no touch no talk just "walking." And then finding a spot to people watch and just "Sit." IE ..."Sit on the Dog."

Details are here:
Fearful, Anxious or Flat Crazy "The Place CommanD - Boxer Forum : Boxer Breed Dog Forums

I actually had the "opposite issue" my dog seriously ticked me off! He went hard after my American Band Dawg GUnther and then after that ... people issues??!!! I was ticked!! :mad:

And basically said "Dog this people thing is not happening!" I took care of him but basically "ignored" him, we "Walked" many mile together ... pretty much in "silence" and then "he" changed but I did notice ... and then "this" happened. :

http://www.germanshepherds.com/forum/aggression-good-bad-ugly/399905-what-would-my-dog-do.html


Sometimes ...less is more. :)
 

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You are right. Your husband is wrong. He is not respecting Kane's thresholds. Hubby is going to push Kane into biting him and then blame Kane. Kane is clearly telling your husband his attention is not wanted, but hubby keeps pushing. He needs to ignore Kane and wait for Kane to come to him.

Put a prong collar on hubby and keep him on a short leash. If that doesn't work, banish him to the garage.
 

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best advice i have for your husband is for him to ignore Kane when he comes home. Sit down, relax with a high value treat in hand and wait for Kane to sniff it out.

Your husband can give 'sit,' or 'down, or whatever command Kane knows, and then give treatl

Let Kane associate husband's arrival with fun.

Don't tell dog or husband they're wrong, but encourage good interaction. Just my advice..
 

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I could use some advice on our situation. Kane is 18 months old, intact male and I am clearly 'his person.' My husband works out of town and has a 10 days away/10 days home rotation.

Kane used to excitedly welcome him home with wiggles and kisses; but for the past 3 months or so wants nothing to do with him when he gets home. He shies away from him and when my husband tries to give him physical affection, he growls. After a day or so, all is well.

We have a difference of opinion on how to deal with this. I think Kane is just stressed and needs some time to adjust. I ask my husband to just leave him alone and wait until Kane relaxes into the situation.

My husband, on the other hand, is of the mindset that he should be able to do whatever he wants with the dog and forces the issue by continuing to hug/kiss him and then corrects him for growling.

He thinks it's a dominance issue and I think Kane knows that every time "Dad" comes home our schedules and routines are different and the energy in the house changes drastically.....I'm very mellow and my husband is super high-octane energy.

I think it's my responsibility to stop this negative interaction and make sure Kane is not overly stressed and then corrected for growling. My husband thinks I should stay out of it and let him deal with Kane in his own way.

Maybe we're both wrong and should be dealing with it in a different way...any thoughts?

I can only go on experience. My dogs no matter time away would not act differently, if anything overly happy to see me. I used to work crazy shifts in law enforcement then stay away from home periods of time.

I don't mean to assume or speculate, but it sounds like tension is there between you and your hubby. If your laid back and hubby is the alpha up tight type he may give off energy to you that the dog does not like, especially if he is basically your dog i.e. bonded more to you.

Just a theory. I know my hubby is a pain in my ass at times and when I go all puerto rican on him and raise my voice Chico (his dog) more bonded with him gets spify with me.

Which I now started shutting that behavior down immediately. Bella (kids dog)does the same with my kids, she don't take kindly to us scolding them, so we had to correct her for that.

On another note he simply may not like your husband, he may sense somitting he dislikes. I think he should leave him alone and earn his trust on the dogs time not his timeline. Respect the dogs intuition sometimes they know more than we do...

I'm not implying your husnand is bad. Just that the dog obviously senses something, let the dog work through it with out forcing it. I tried it with Chico and Bella's the let them come around way at first but then ended up using correction.

After realizing there were no other options. My husband and I will have tifts i.e. bikering and the kids will get scolded, they had to learn that it is part of family. Anyway those are my similar experiences.
 

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Dogs kind of trust you more if you give them the opportunity to decide you are ok and come to you. Overtures, especially hugging, makes the dog more wary.

Hope your husband doesn't need to learn this the hard way.
 

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Put the dog in a crate before your husband comes home so the attention does not immediately go the dog, which it shouldn't anyways after a 10 day absence ;). I am glad the prong collar and time out worked! On a serious note, I am glad that he took the advice and as a result has a better relationship with Kane. Dogs are forgiving.
 

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This thread bothered me.

I have a different take on your dogs behavior, in a second.

But first Don't. Correct. Growling. It's like taking the batteries out of your smoke detector. Growling is the dog telling you it is not comfortable. Take that away and I hear statements like, I don't know what happened, he just snapped. Or, she didn't growl or anything just attacked. And then the dog is suddenly in the wrong.

As to the behavior, you said he used to be happy when hubby came home.
So pup gets all happy that dad came home and dad leaves. Hmmm. So pup pouts a bit and voices his displeasure and suddenly he has dads undivided attention. Hmmm. I am really curious what will happen the next time hubby comes home. Some dogs have a tough time with their people being away.
 

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This thread bothered me.

But first Don't. Correct. Growling. It's like taking the batteries out of your smoke detector. Growling is the dog telling you it is not comfortable. Take that away and I hear statements like, I don't know what happened, he just snapped. Or, she didn't growl or anything just attacked. And then the dog is suddenly in the wrong.
That's essentially the argument I made that clicked in his head. Hubby loves Kane too, and when I said that my greatest worry was taking Kane's growl away and having him bite someone then die for it....he finally saw what I was trying to say.
 
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