Glossary of Dog Show Terms
ANGULATION - Degree to which dog handlers will bend over backwards to impress judges
BALANCE - a) How to arrange the checkbook so your husband won't know how much money you spent on dog shows last month. Usually done in the bathroom with the door locked;
b) Ability to hold coffee, danish, leash, treats, and entry form all at once.
BITCH - a) Proper name for a female dog;
b) Name often heard at dog shows, not always to describe a
BLIND RETRIEVE - When you can't see the toy under the furniture.
CGC - Canine Gastrointestinal Catastrophe (aka GAS)
COAT - The hairy covering of a dog that usually falls out about one week before the Specialty show.
CRABBING - What you do when the judge doesn't like your dog.
DAM - a) A female dog with puppies
b) Expression frequently overheard at dog shows as losers leave
DISTEMPER - Shown by those competitors who just lo st to someone they can't stand.
DOG - To chase a judge from show to show in an effort to attain more breed wins.
DOUBLE BLIND - Finding two toys under the furniture.
ELBOW - Method of getting to ringside quickly when late.
EXPRESSION - 'Sweet' look adopted by hungry dogs while staring ravenously at chunks of liver.
FANCIER - Degree to which some gentlemen handlers dress more than others.
FORCE FETCH - Dog drops the toy under the furniture, scratches at the carpet until you're forced to 'fetch' it.
FRONT - Part of the dog often facing outside of the ring.
GUARD HAIR - An activity in which one watches intently as the dog's hair falls out, in clumps, just after entries are mailed.
HEEL - a) What you feel like when your dog beats the one you had just sold to an eager novice;
b) Expression often screamed to attract the attention of deaf dogs.
HOCK - A way of financing your dog shows by the use of jewelry such as wedding rings.
KENNEL - Where you go when the kids fight and your husband is in one of his moods.
LITTER - Trash left all over the building and parking lot after a dog
MASK - What to wear when you have to show your gorgeous pick of the litter that fell apart a week before the show.
MUZZLE - What to put on your kids at a dog show to prevent them from calling your competition what they overheard you call him last night.
NOSEPRINTS - Cute marks left all over your French doors.
OUTCROSSING - What your husband tells the minister you are doing out in the kennel with the dog and the bitch.
OVERSHOT - Running so fast as to pass the 1st place ring marker and plow into the judge and the stewards.
PEDIGREE - Dog food with lots of coupons.
POINTS - Minute, invisible awards for winning which you cannot convince your spouse are more important than cash prizes.
PUPPIES - Small, dog like food processing machines with the ability to stink up an entire house and collectively deafen a band of magpies. (These creatures have not yet been perfected, as they come with leaky systems, and can also be dangerous to weak hearts and bank accounts.)
QUALIFYING SCORE - Just the 170.5 you got in obedience today.
RIBBONS - What competitive exhibitors with distemper (see above) will cut you into when your dog places over theirs.
SPECIALTY - Whatever your dog is good at, like bringing home dead cats or chewing on walls.
TYPE - What your dog has.....if you turn down the lights and squint a little.
UTILITY - The kind of vehicle you need to haul around your dogs.
RATCHX2 SG Wisp von Schneiden Fels BH NW1 RA OAP OAJ SWN CZ8B CAA CGCA TKN TC HIC
SG Chase vom Mittelwest II BH
SG Flame von Nummer-Eins CA TKN HIC