On Aug 20th, 2018, I lost my best friend and soul mate dog. No words can describe what she was to me. Her name was Maggie. Born March 13, 2006. She lived a long wonderful life full of love. She loved her humans more than anything.
I am trying to make sense of it all. I know she was old and it was her time, but this is not how I anticipated it would go. She had a lot of chronic health problems the last 2 years, but they were manageable. About 2 weeks ago, she stopped eating which was very unusual for her as I could swear she lived to eat. She was taken to the vet and diagnosed with heart failure. Her heart was enlarged and she had a lot of fluid. She started on cardiac meds and Lasix and seemed to be responding well.
I actually live away from home and she lives with my mom. My mom and I got her when I was 20 yrs old. I ended up moving away for college and work when she was 3 yrs old, but always came home frequently to visit. The bond never changed. In fact, it seemed stronger because it was even more special when I came home to visit. She knew my voice, I would talk to her on the phone when I was away and she always knew I would be back. I missed her all the time. Not a day would go by that I didn't think about her and look at her pictures. We basically grew up together. Coming from a very small family with no brothers or sisters, she was like the sister I never had.
After the new diagnosis, we knew she wasn't going to be around much longer. She was responding to the cardiac meds and started eating more and was back to her usual tricks of stealing utensils out of dishwasher and anything she could get on the counter. I was unable to get back home due to work, but the vet thought she would be around if I came home end of August. The day before she passed away she had a really good day. She was eating, she was up to her tricks, and went for a walk. I had called my mom and she had the phone on speaker so that she could her me the whole time. For years, her response to hearing my voice on the phone would be to bark, lick the phone and run around looking for me. Since she had been sick over the last week, she wouldn't usually bark, although my mom was sure she heard my voice and new it was me. As I was getting off the phone with my mom, my mom said to Maggie "say goodbye to your girl" She started barking! I was so happy to hear her bark again, but I didn't know this was her saying goodbye forever.
The next morning I got the dreaded call from my mom. It was at 6:00 in the morning and I immediately knew she was gone. She passed away in her sleep on her favorite spot on the rug in the living room. I was in shock. My mom was beyond devastated and traumatized. That was it. I would never get to see her beautiful face, hug her, and kiss her goodbye. This is not how I thought it would go. As most people have to make the decision themselves and take their dog to vet, I really thought that is how it would have happened. I wanted to be with her touching her and holding her while she took her last exhale. The vet said it was a heart attack. Although I am grateful she passed away peacefully in her favorite place and she choose when to go, I am so heart broken that I was not there and didn't get to say bye properly.