There are moments....
There are moments, during the course of my daily duties, when I drum up in my mind some of the statements I have heard from people who called about puppies. The one that sticks in my craw the most in a variety of forms is "how come they cost so much?"
Why do they cost so much?
Well maybe because of February mornings when my dogs are inside with their legs crossed while I am outside fighting with the kennels. I live in the snow belt. Which means when other people have grass peeping through and the remnents of a snow plow pile still hanging on, I still have 18 to 24 inches of snow all over the place.
The dogs trample it down, and it freezes, then melts and is trampled, and it freezes and then melts, and so straw gets trampled into it, and it freezes and melts, until there is a flooring 3-5 inches deep on my kennel floor.
How I KNOW it is 3 to 5 inches deep is because I am 5-6 or 5-7 ish, and the kennels roof is 6 foot. But the two by fours that cross over the top of the kennels, hang down to 5-8 to 5-9 on the bottom edge. I think you know where this is going. CRACK! Yes, I had some bad cracks on the head today while weilding my pooper scooper blade/ ice breaker / support.
Maybe they cost this much because I am out there hacking away at the frozen mixture trying to free the gates enough for me to get a bucket of water and the pooper scooper into the kennel.
I get to Odessa's this morning, and this one is a little different, a couple of AKC kennel panels make the puppy pen a little smaller. I get in there, lift the latch and it is frozen to the ground. Using my calf and foot, I push the bottom to push the frozen tundra enough so I can get through and weild the ice breaker, scraping away at the frozen slurry to let the gate slide. Well, the bleeping thing disconnects at the bottom!
Suddenly, I am holding the whole lousy gate in my hand. (This was the last kennel I needed to clean, and after several good cracks from the two by fours.) But I doggedly attacked the ice and snow and tried to figure out how to get the gate back on track.
I beat back the ice and cleaned the bottom section, and tried to get the thing back together. And it just would not go! By this point, I was speaking in tongues, and Odessa decided that she was better off inside away from the crazy lady with with the hoe.
Why do they cost so much???
I went back in, and brought water buckets and dogs out, slipping and sliding on the half frozen, half thawing, wet muck.
I do not know the science behind it, but poo has a freezing point that is lower than water. Because the grownd was pretty much frozen, but the poop was mushy. Nice. When it is good frozen turds, you can smack them with your garden tool, and poo separates from the frozen concrete or snow and flies neatly into your scoop.
But when the poo is moist and the ground cover is not, you must scrape the poo and the top layers of snow off. This means that you are pulling up nine parts snow ice mixture to one part poo. This means the scoop fills nine times faster than usual, and you have to empty it nine times more. Yippee. This means walking over the frozen slippery yuck nine times more placing yourself in the peril of falling.
Falling with a full pooper scooper is not a pleasant concept. And while you are concentrating on where you are stepping and staying upright, sometimes, you fail to notice the two by fours laying in wait for your forhead.
With a bucket of steaming water in one hand, and your support in the other, and a crazy two year old running circles around you trying to trip you up, and you are wondering if you remembered to take your cell phone off of the burner and put it in your pocket in case the maniac dog manages to break you leg for you...
The whole time, you are hoping that the whole procedure is not taking too long with respect to the bladders that remain unrelieved in the house.
When you add it up, I mean when you really add up all the time and all the work and all the money and all the thought that goes into a litter of puppies, do people really understand what a bargain they are getting???
Heidi Ho, Odie
Joy-Joy, Bear Cub, Hepsi-Pepsi
Cujo2, Karma Chameleon
Ramona the Pest, Kojak -- who loves you baby?
Tiny Tinnie, Susie's Uzzi, Kaiah -- The Baby Monster.
Last edited by selzer; 02-07-2011 at 11:54 AM.