My Lulu is gone... still can't believe it... - German Shepherd Dog Forums
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post #1 of 21 (permalink) Old 06-15-2018, 11:15 PM Thread Starter
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Unhappy My Lulu is gone... still can't believe it...

About a month ago it happened... She was totally fine one minute, the next she was very lethargic and threw up. She has always had a sensitive tummy so I assumed it was something she ate or got into. It progressively got worse... Within an hour she was stumbling and would not put her ears up which was my sign to rush her to the emergency vet. They took her right in and did an ultrasound, there was fluid (blood) accumulating around her heart, Pericardial Effusion. They drained it and said she might be okay if it didn't come back right away. It did. I had my sister, who is a surgeon, talk to the doctors and they all agreed the best thing to do would be to not let her suffer. We could spend thousands in surgery to give her maybe another few months but her quality of life would not be great. A few hours later I was holding her paw, and whispering in her ear as she closed her eyes for the last time. I thanked her for her love, friendship and devotion for all those years and for always loving me even when I might not have deserved it. She is gone. I still cry every day, I have a pendant with some of her remains in it around my neck and her ashes in a simple box with a plaque with her name on it. "Lulu". I will see her again across the rainbow bridge, I know I will...

As you can see from my post count I used to post here avidly and then I just sort of got away from it. But everyone here had helped me so much with so many things and helped me be such a better GSD companion, and I am truly very grateful. I may find another GSD to walk with eventually, when my heart heals a bit more.

Thanks for listening.
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~Lisa

Maya, my little human, 15 years old
Tala, White GSD born Feb 28 2019
Lulu, Black GSD,
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R.I.P. went to the Rainbow Bridge May, 2018
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post #2 of 21 (permalink) Old 06-15-2018, 11:27 PM
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so very sorry for your loss.....they really leave a hole in your heart


<<<<hugs>>>>

Lee
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post #3 of 21 (permalink) Old 06-15-2018, 11:33 PM
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Take time, heal! This, I know from personal experience, is incredibly hard. RIP Lulu! Mom, give yourself time to heal, all the best to you!
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post #4 of 21 (permalink) Old 06-16-2018, 01:13 AM
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I'm so sorry for your loss of Lulu, it's a very tragic thing to lose a love like that.
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post #5 of 21 (permalink) Old 06-16-2018, 01:26 AM Thread Starter
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How they enrich our lives... how they touch us and have such a huge hold on us until the day we also leave this world... no words. I have never known a soul like my Lulu with that capacity for love. The pain is overwhelming without her laying with her head on the end of the couch staring at me not wanting to sleep so she could keep staring with her ears up.... but I wouldn't trade one moment with her, pain and all. Thank you for your kind words.
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~Lisa

Maya, my little human, 15 years old
Tala, White GSD born Feb 28 2019
Lulu, Black GSD,
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post #6 of 21 (permalink) Old 06-16-2018, 01:31 AM
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I'm sorry. It hurts so badly because owning her/having her as a companion was so very good. We just can't have it any other way. These critters become a part of who we are, and losing them rips us open.

But, their passing, as hard as it is, is not so bad that it counters the years of unconditional love that we experienced from our dogs. That truly is sad, when folks cannot bear the parting to the extent that they never share their love with another critter.

Some of us need to have a break before "replacing" our dog. No, there is never any way to replace our dog, and that break helps up to separate the new dog from the old dog, helps us allow the new dog to be his own person so to speak. Sometimes we just need time, and that is ok, too.

Others of us often have another dog or dogs in place before we lose one, because being without a dog is just inconceivable. The hole they leave in our home, is too great. That's ok, too. It doesn't mean we loved ours less or that our grief is less. It just is.

When you are ready for a new critter, you will know, and then another critter will be blessed as Lola was blessed by having a person willing to recklessly open their heart to the new pup or dog.

I lost Jenna a few weeks ago. Losing her was like losing her mother, Arwen, only different. I came home to find Arwen gone. I had to make the decision not to let Jenna suffer. There is no easy way to lose a critter. It's hard. It's painful. But there is a time-frame to this. It hurts now, but with time, we start remembering more than just the passing, we experience more than the loss and emptiness of the house. There will come a time when we still remember them daily, but rarely remember the bad parts at all.
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post #7 of 21 (permalink) Old 06-16-2018, 01:38 AM Thread Starter
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Thank you so much for your wise words selzer. I do remember you. I am so very sorry for your losses as well. I do miss the energy so much but I am afraid if I get another dog I will compare him/her to Lulu and that wouldn't be fair to him/her. I can't remember one bad part with Lulu, she was perfect from day 1, she never chewed anything besides her toys and bones even when a small pup, never did any damage, housebroken in a few days, the list goes on. Oh she did get in the trash when I was at work if I left it out, hehe, I always knew she did that before I saw it when I got home because she punished herself and hid in her crate and wasn't at the door jumping about

Thanks again for your words...
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~Lisa

Maya, my little human, 15 years old
Tala, White GSD born Feb 28 2019
Lulu, Black GSD,
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post #8 of 21 (permalink) Old 06-16-2018, 07:10 AM
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Comparing dogs happens but that is because we put the joys of our previous dog onto the shoulders of our newest dog. But it doesn't take long for them to shake off the expectations and create their own joys in our lives.


I am so sorry that she is gone. I am glad it wasn't a long drawn out event like I watched a friend go through.
Here is to excellent memories.
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post #9 of 21 (permalink) Old 06-16-2018, 09:10 AM
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I'm so sorry for the loss of your sweetie, Miss Lulu. My eyes are puddling just thinking of the pain you are enduring right now. Its tough and the pain measurement is the same but inverse to the love and friendship you two shared. Next time you are flooded with tears tell yourself that. It seems so wrong that their life span is so short.

Im so sorry.

Donnie
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post #10 of 21 (permalink) Old 06-16-2018, 09:36 AM
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So very sorry My screen name is after a Jack Russell I lost almost 10 years ago. It never gets easier. They are a genuine part of us. I have often thought after losing a dog "who am I without them?" Hugs and healing. You will know in your heart when you are ready to have another. And when you are ready, know that Lulu would want you happy <3
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