I'm only now able to write about the passing of my sweet boy. He died November 9, 2015. He was the light of my life, my doggy soulmate. He never left my side, a complete lap dog. We were made for each other. He had hemangiosarcoma, however I had no idea anything was even wrong with my boy.
A week before his death. My boyfriend of 16 years proposed. He always joked that I loved the dog more than him (may be true
) He put the ring around Maxx's collar and sent him to me. Then asked me if I would be theirs forever. I couldn't have imagined a better proposal.
My boy was 12, and I knew he had arthritis. He was a very lazy dog, so it was difficult to gauge if he was less active. He had been having a harder time with the stairs, and a couple of times that week his gums were just slightly pale. I thought we should go to the vet just to make sure his pain from arthritis was well controlled.
We went to the vet 2 days before he died, she agreed his slight lethargy was probably due to arthritis, we then discussed how far we wanted to go (imaging of the spine etc in case is was degenerative spine or myopathy) I work in critical care, so I knew surgery wouldn't ever be a great option given his age. She also said low on her priority list was hemangiosarcoma due to the intermittent pale gums. She offered an X-ray, but suggested if it was hemangio, it would have probably already metastasized. So off we go home with Metacam. He was great the next 2 days. So great that I wondered why I even went to the vet.
I worked night shift over that weekend. The last night when I went to work, he wouldn't take a cookie which was strange. My fiancee gave him Metacam and never left his side. He seemed to perk up, so my fiancee told me to stay at work and he would let me know if things changed. Fast forward 4 hours. He texts me that I need to get home ASAP. I left work immediately, by the time I got home he was hanging on by a thread. Paradoxical breathing, white as a sheet, and cold to all extremities. I held him, told him how much I loved him. I begged him to go even though I wondered how I would ever live without him. To feel his heart fibrillate at the end, the brain death was more than I could take. But I am honoured to have loved him through his final moments, and that he was surrounded by his family (and fur sister Mika)
I try not to focus on his death (even though it is so hard) and think about the 12 years of pure love, joy and bliss we had together. He was mine, and I was his. So that makes the pain of the loss worth it. An eternity wouldn't have been enough time together.
Here is their picture. Maxx is on the right. It was taken a month before his death. Mika is on the left, she is 11