a couple questions about the grieving process - German Shepherd Dog Forums
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
post #1 of 18 (permalink) Old 01-21-2015, 09:34 AM Thread Starter
Knighted Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Iowa
Posts: 2,087
a couple questions about the grieving process

It has been twelve days since Heidi passed and I think I am doing ok. I occasionally have a few moments that I am not thinking about Heidi. Then I feel guilty and find myself deliberately pulling my thoughts back to her. Is that normal? I think I am holding on to my grief because I am afraid if I let go of it, I will let go of Heidi. I am afraid that some day I will wake up and not be able to remember exactly what she looked like, or the feel of her fur or her smell. And if I lose memory of Heidi, I will be completely lost. So I am wondering if others have had that fear or is it peculiar to me? Will there come a time that I won't remember how she was? I couldn't take that.
Bridget is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 18 (permalink) Old 01-21-2015, 09:39 AM
Crowned Member
 
Debanneball's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Ontario..
Posts: 3,666
For the rest of your life, you WILL remember Heidi, you will smile every time you think of her. Sure, right now, her loss is new, but there will be a day, and all of a sudden you will say to yourself, 'Heidi....', you will realize its been a while since you thought of her.. Heidi is always with you, will remain in your heat forever.

"There is a lot to be thankful for if you take the time to look. Example.. I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt!". Author Unknown

Enjoy
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Debanneball is offline  
post #3 of 18 (permalink) Old 01-21-2015, 09:52 AM
The Administrator from the Great White North, eh?
 
Castlemaid's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Northern British Columbia
Posts: 16,991
I think that is a normal grieving process. When it comes to Grief, there is no "normal" and "not normal". Everyone has to deal with their grief in a personal way.

As someone who put a beloved dog down 10 years ago, I can tell you that the memories don't fade, but the love you feel for the departed dog is as bright and real as when the dog was still with you. Even if you are not actively remembering or thinking about your Heidi, she will never leave you.

Lucia


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
2009-2018

Keeta BH, OB1, TR1, AD
Rottweiler/Hairy Dog mix?? 2004-2015
Castlemaid is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #4 of 18 (permalink) Old 01-21-2015, 09:52 AM
Junior Member
 
zx5go's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Southwest Missouri
Posts: 28
I don't think what you're feeling is out of the ordinary. We lost Bullet on the 5th and it is a rollercoaster of emotions. The fact that you ask the question and are concerned about forgeting items about Heidi tells me you'll never forget her and you'll probably find yourself recalling things about her that you hadn't thought about in years.

B2 - 2/1/15

Bullet - RIP 12/11/02 - 1/5/15

Desire is irrelevant.

A grateful nation never forgets.
zx5go is offline  
post #5 of 18 (permalink) Old 01-21-2015, 09:53 AM
Crowned Member
 
Shade's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 8,694
You never forget, the memories may dim but they'll never disappear. When I really want to remember I trigger memories - I go somewhere that is special, I look at something that used to belong to them, or watch videos and look at photos.

I don't believe our loved ones ever truly leave us because their memory is alive in our hearts.

For instance one of my grandfather's passed away in April 2003, so almost 12 years ago. We were very close and his loss was devestating to not only me but our family, I remember his voice - it's not as clear as it used to be but his mannerisms and the way he spoke has stuck with me. There are still random times I see someone or hear or smell something that reminds me of him and it comes flooding back.

Shanna

My Pack:

Jasmine - Female Miniature Poodle - born Aug 15, 2010
Loker Delgado Von Stalworth - Male GSD - born Jan 26, 2012
Koda & Zazu - 7 year old male cats
Alex - Male Cocker Spaniel (rescue) - RIP Cuddlebug 2007-2010
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Shade is offline  
post #6 of 18 (permalink) Old 01-21-2015, 10:25 AM
Master Member
 
Mister C's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 778
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shade View Post
...
I don't believe our loved ones ever truly leave us because their memory is alive in our hearts.
I agree with this sentiment.

I would also add that you will never forget a being as cherished as Heidi was to you. It's important to let yourself grieve for a while. At first, my mind kept dragging me back to Maddie's death bed scene. I played it over and over in my mind. Then I forced myself to focus on the good times, the happy moments and why I loved Maddie so much.

One of the things we do with our departed pets is to seal up some bedding in a plastic bag. Smell is a powerful memory trigger. When I find myself thinking about a lost pet I will unseal the bag and take a good whiff. It's like being transported back in time. Things I thought I had forgetten come rushing back.

There are also the little things in life that remind you of your loved one: the special path in the park, the bush next door she loved to smell every day, the way she would yell at all the crows that dared to come near her, the way she would look at me when she wanted something... The memories are ALWAYS there...trust me.

Sorry, have to go now. There is something in my eye.

Linus van Pelt Haus Juris CGC. My Sweet Babboo, born March 17, 2014.

Madeline Ronan Heart (Maddie) Dec 1997 -- November 22, 2013 Rescue GSD, Sable
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Mister C is offline  
post #7 of 18 (permalink) Old 01-21-2015, 10:34 AM
Crowned Member
 
SuperG's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Great White North
Posts: 4,480
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
I think I am holding on to my grief because I am afraid if I let go of it, I will let go of Heidi.
Let the wonderful memories of your sweet Heidi replace the grief you feel today....it doesn't happen overnight but when it does start to happen, you will be keeping Heidi alive in your heart with good memories just as much as you think you need to hold onto the grief to keep her alive in your heart. I'd be a liar to suggest that there are no longer any times where some sad memories of my last girl don't creep into my mind...she's been gone for over a couple years now and the memories of having to say "goodbye" still make sad but I guess in my sadness I end up smiling as it just reminds me of how wonderful she was to effect me in such a strong way....at least let the good memories accompany the difficult memories and times.


Take care,

SuperG
SuperG is offline  
post #8 of 18 (permalink) Old 01-21-2015, 10:38 AM
Crowned Member
 
GatorBytes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Southern Ontario
Posts: 5,190
Death leaves a pain that no one can heal,
Love holds a memory no one can steal

He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion. - Unknown

Last edited by GatorBytes; 01-21-2015 at 10:44 AM.
GatorBytes is offline  
post #9 of 18 (permalink) Old 01-21-2015, 10:47 AM
Crowned Member
 
Daisy&Lucky's Mom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 7,823
You will never forget .The difference is more and more the memories will bring smiles ,laughter sometimes mixed w/ tears. I think of Daisy often and in fact her maxin and relaxin picture is on my desktop at work. Couldn't have done that the first year. I think when you share your life w/ a companion who is there for all these parts of your daily life that these beloved creatures share w/ us it is one huge loss. Grieving their loss is a process that circles back at times and then lurches forward.Whatever you do that helps you grieve then thats what is normal for you. Although I think you will see here in this thread those feeling your having are what many of us who have lost our companions also feel. Take care sending hugs and thoughts
Maggi

Daisy 11/26/99-7/25/12
Miss Chevy Cruz - 1/25/2013-1/29/15
Thunder -1/25/13 -7/25/15
Lucky-GSD -Rescue -2/16/03 - 03-21-16
Charlie- GSD-Rescue - 7-4-12
Daisy&Lucky's Mom is offline  
post #10 of 18 (permalink) Old 01-21-2015, 10:52 AM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Hamburger
Posts: 452
Send a message via Yahoo to sehrgutcsg
I doubt my words will be much help, but here goes. "Your pet is gone. Gone after a lifetime of love and devotion from both sides. A love that will not fade, a love that will not ever be surpassed. Allow the process to take hold of you and kill your joy, then the memory will either fade faster or never fade at all."

Yeah, I cried too, but my life has soo many important things to accomplish I understand the Universe is counting on my work to cure the evil and help the sick I just don't have enough time left to grieve much more, my tears are gone..
sehrgutcsg is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the German Shepherd Dog Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in










Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome