First and foremost thank you all, for you who have posted have lost a loved pet before, this is my first pet loss so I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for the kind words and understanding. I also wanted to share some emotions I have gone through over the past 6 days.
I’m not sure how to explain the loss of a pet who’s not really a pet but a daughter son friend. Its been 6 days sense I lost my baby girl Abby, the tears have subsided somewhat and now anger has begun, anger at the vet because he was not capable of handling the IMHA treatment, anger at myself for not moving her to a more qualified vet that had the blood and medicine on site and I guess just angry at this IMHA. I have done plenty of reading on this IMHA and understand that in short its a killer one way or another so regardless of treatment her chance were pretty slim at best.
I know this will pass and for now I juts have to think positive, the first 2 days were bad for me, but I did something a little strange that seem to put my emotions in check. Abby passed away last Wednesday. Thursday my wife and I were a mess, me and my wife are in our early 40’s and decided to have dogs and not kids so 10 years ago we got Cujo my GSD and Abby a Belgian malinois mix (just a little background)
So on Friday my wife and I took a trip up to Canon City, CO where there is a winery called the ABBY this is an old Church / School /Winery so anyways we took a 2hr drive up there both heart broken.
Once there we went and purchased our wine and decided to go over to the old church. Once there we found the place where they hold church…sorry not much of a church goer, but anyway it was just me and my wife and the place was empty so we sat down and cried and spoke out loud our good buys to our sweetheart. Told her we love her and miss her and we will see her again, but for now go play and don’t worry about mommy and daddy. We are hurt that you left us and wish you were here with us but understand that we will see you again. So we cried a few more minuets and again told her we love her said amen and left.
Now strangely enough I feel like she sense we were in a house for god that she heard every word we said and knows that we love her and miss her and that everything is ok.
My heart is still broken with her loss but is mending knowing that I feel she heard me and know everything is ok.
They say things will get better and I feel they will, I think I have my closure that I needed from my heart to her.
So moving forward we received her ashes back along with her TPLO plates we have painted her paw print and will be getting her setup in our family room with her teddy bear her favorite blanket her collar and leash and a photo of her. This might seem silly maybe but it out of love and respect.
What a crappy year !!!