Did the hardest thing yesterday........ - German Shepherd Dog Forums
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post #1 of 33 (permalink) Old 04-30-2009, 11:04 PM Thread Starter
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Did the hardest thing yesterday........

But now I am really glad I did it. When my friend, Gary, and I laid my GSD Heidi to rest back on October 29, after she died from exposure from falling through thin ice, I had been on my 30th hour without sleep, I was exhausted, and Heidi, after being in the water for many hours, plus rigor mortis, was really stiff, and with the ground being frozen, it was a haphazard burial at best. I had no intentions of returning, but last week with the onset of summer weather, I tangled with the thought of going back and doing it right. I did not really want to see her again, but I just could not get it out of my mind either. But in the last couple days, with the temps climbing into the low 70s, I knew decay would start to set in, so I knew I had to do it. I went alone, I thought it would be best. It was a tough walk, no snow, marsh where it was solid before, but soon I was in the thicket where I knew we buried her. I was not sure what I would find, I had hoped in the back of my mind she would be gone, taken away by some predator, but then I saw the telltale mound. I had intended to simply dig a new deeper grave and just pull her blanket shrouded body out of the old grave and lower her into the new one and cover her back over. But, eventually, my resolve got the best of me, and I had to look, just one more time. I gingerly pulled the blanket back, and there she was. My big, sweet chubby Heidi. With winter just ending, decay had not set in, she still smelled like Heidi, was soft and pliable just like Heidi. I longed for her to wake up, and follow me back out of the woods, back home, be Miss Messy like she was, lay on her back, and hog the couch, do the things that used to irritate, or make me laugh. I lay with her there under the warm sun, hugging her for a long time, then I bound her up in the blanket, and buried her there. Then whispering goodbye one final time, I left quietly the way I came. I feel a bit sad today, but I feel so relieved and happy that I went back. Godspeed Miss Heidi. I love you girl.
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post #2 of 33 (permalink) Old 04-30-2009, 11:16 PM
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Re: Did the hardest thing yesterday........

Wow,I am sitting here in tears for you.I don't think I could ever do that.I would want to,but I don't know I would be able to.I am glad you were able to lay her to rest,now hopefully you can be at peace with her death.

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post #3 of 33 (permalink) Old 04-30-2009, 11:17 PM
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Re: Did the hardest thing yesterday........

That was an extremely brave thing that you did. I hope this will help you find the closure you were looking.

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Jerzey, Bi-color GSD. 4/23/08
Koji, spotted shelter kitty.
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post #4 of 33 (permalink) Old 04-30-2009, 11:20 PM
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Re: Did the hardest thing yesterday........

well that's a wonderful and brave thing for you to do for her richard. as always, many blessings.

rest in peace dear heidi-girl.

mom to the cashman
the rescues...jeni-take-a-ride, and the c-monster
shangri la's seraphina blue (RIP 8/1/15)
hearthside's cinderfella (RIP 4/20/09)
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post #5 of 33 (permalink) Old 04-30-2009, 11:21 PM
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Re: Did the hardest thing yesterday........

Oh my goodness! I wasn't sure what to expect when I saw the title...and now I have tears in my eyes! Bless you for being such a loving person and definately Godspeed sweet Heidi!

You can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar!
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post #6 of 33 (permalink) Old 04-30-2009, 11:28 PM
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Re: Did the hardest thing yesterday........

Wow, tears flow as I read your post. What a brave and wonderfully loving thing you did for your sweet girl.

I remember like it was yesterday when you lost sweet Heidi, the pain of her loss. I am so glad that you were able to give this lovely girl the proper burial you so wanted.

She was so lucky to be loved by such a good man.

Run free sweet Heidi, knowing with every step how very much you are loved.

Sharon, Mom to
Lexi CGC (Cert. area search)
Neko CGC (Cert. HRD)
Justice CGC (trailing),
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post #7 of 33 (permalink) Old 04-30-2009, 11:29 PM
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Re: Did the hardest thing yesterday........

Richard I'm sitting here with tears streaming down my face. The way you described it, I could see my self in your place and how I would feel if it were one of my pups.
God bless you for being such a wonderful caring soul.
Rest in peace sweet Miss Hiedi, until you meet again.

Larka GSD 1/4/06 Palla GSD 7/16/06 Loki adopted 8/23/08
Badger,Miss Crabtree & Shafford, the kitty krew
Waiting at the bridge;Palla,Tucker,Chance, Brandy and Lacy. I'll miss you to the end of eternity, and love you twice as long.
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post #8 of 33 (permalink) Old 04-30-2009, 11:35 PM
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Re: Did the hardest thing yesterday........

Oh Richard,

I can not imagine the emotions that you had to deal with today. I know that like you, I would have had to go back for peace of mind and like you I would have had to see her one more time. I hope that you have found peace knowing now that she has had a proper burial and you have had a chance to say your final good-bye.

Rest in Peace Heidi

GSD Rescue of East TN

Liesel adopted 2/7/04
Judy rescued 1/16/05, foster failure
Trelkez owner surrender 9/27/07, foster failure

In loving memory of Jasmine 2/2/95-11/24/03, she has left this world but she will never leave my heart.
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post #9 of 33 (permalink) Old 04-30-2009, 11:35 PM
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Re: Did the hardest thing yesterday........

Sar K-9 Tasha (GSD)
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post #10 of 33 (permalink) Old 04-30-2009, 11:42 PM
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Re: Did the hardest thing yesterday........

I am not sure what to say. This is both so sad, and yet I am happy you got some peace and closure from this. I also believe Heidi's spirit was with you.

RIP Heidi
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