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post #1 of 18 (permalink) Old 04-24-2009, 01:15 PM Thread Starter
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What do I do?

I posted about having to put down our pittie a couple of days ago.
I have never felt this way... I haven't eaten since tuesday without being physically ill and losing what I'd just taken in.
I am so lost right now, I feel like we could have done more... We could not keep her, but due to the contract we signed at the adoption, we had to speak with the SPCA before finding her a rescue.
They needed to know why we were rehoming, and when we told, they said that our choices were to bring her in for a two week quarantine before euthanasia, or we put her down ourselves. Of course we did it ourselves.. I didn't want her to spend the last days of her life in a cold cell with strangers passing some nasty food under the gate, in her own excretions... Afraid.
We just spent several hundred dollars that day to care for the dog she attacked, and could not afford the vet's extra $100 fee to come to our home.
So she went to him... She was hugged and loved as he put the needle in her arm, and of course something had to go wrong and her vein failed, but he got enough in to put her to sleep. After she was out he administered the rest.

I feel like I've betrayed her. She trusted me so much. She was attacked as a pup and had severe fear aggression... She got over that with me, she knew I'd protect her. She learned so fast, she tried her best to please..

I haven't even felt this way when grandparents and such have died.
Seeing her head hung limp and her body broken has torn my heart.

What can I do to ease this?


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post #2 of 18 (permalink) Old 04-24-2009, 01:20 PM
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Re: What do I do?

Time heals all.

Hang in there and don't feel like you betrayed her. She knows you did all you could.

Christian

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- Adopted Collie/Terrier Jack (8/2008)


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post #3 of 18 (permalink) Old 04-24-2009, 01:21 PM
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Re: What do I do?

It will take time to heal your heart.Sorry you had to do this.

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post #4 of 18 (permalink) Old 04-24-2009, 01:30 PM
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Re: What do I do?

I'm very sorry that you had to euthanize Tinkerbell. She had some wonderful characteristics and was such a pretty girl-your picture of her with the roses is really beautiful. Truly, though, you recognized your responsibility to your Pom-who was crying for her life. What else could you do?

Since you seem to be quite a APBT enthusiast, can you possibly write about Tink for some breed forum? If someone with experience like you is still forced to euthanize their dog for dog aggression/injury, then plenty of inexperienced people may be in real jeopardy. By describing your situation, perhaps you can educate others about safety with APBT.

From what you said in the other thread here, Tink might have been a wonderful only dog for someone who could manage her fears/aggression outside the home. You can use your pain to help other breed lovers to pick the right dog for the right home.

I'm so sorry that you had to let her go.

MJ
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post #5 of 18 (permalink) Old 04-24-2009, 01:37 PM
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Re: What do I do?

You did not fail her, you have shown great courage in freeing Tink from whatever demons she struggled with.

You gave her unconditional love, and will continue loving her, and she knows this.

Lucia


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post #6 of 18 (permalink) Old 04-24-2009, 01:50 PM
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Re: What do I do?

I am so, so sorry that you are hurting so much right now. Tink was a wonderful dog, so deeply loved by you.

The sickness, nausea, and horror you feel are all normal grieving. the intensity can be so scary.... and it is impossible to understand yet that it is also temporary. You will heal. Not only with time, but by pacing yourself to go through all the emotions-- sadness, guilt, anger, everything. Be extra good to yourself right now with drinking sips of water, getting fresh air. Grieving is hard work-- because all wounds heal from the inside out, so facing the feelings help it heal faster.

Tink was so lucky to have you. She had love, warmth, and humor in her home. She had adventures and sillyness, too. You loved her personality and her looks, and she knew it. Tink had no question about how incredibly, amazingly LOVED she always was.

You tried your best for Tink. Her problems were beyond her, and beyond you, and you are not at fault, nor is she. Explore your guilt-- because that's normal for grief-- but then let it go. You did everything for her, and then some. She felt you loving her every minute that she was with you-- no every dog gets so much love.

Be extra good to yourself right now while you hurt so deeply. Breathe.

Tink was a beautiful dog and a dog who enjoyed so much love and care from you. She was lucky to have you on her side.

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post #7 of 18 (permalink) Old 04-24-2009, 01:52 PM
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Re: What do I do?

For me, the only thing that helps it to try and cry it all out. When I lost two dogs in two weeks, I took to the sofa in a heap. Did not eat, bathe, comb hair, I was a mess. I just kept looking at photos and crying my eyes out. After seven days of this, I was ready to start dealing with life again. Time was the only thing that helped. My heart aches for you.

Hang in there. Eventually it will not hurt quite as badly as it does today.

Yours in GSDs and rescue,

Lea

Good Dogs for Good Homes
Virginia German Shepherd Rescue

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post #8 of 18 (permalink) Old 04-24-2009, 01:57 PM
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Re: What do I do?

I'm so sorry that this happened. It's very common to have regrets and think you could have done things differently. But it's possible that your other dog (or some other person's dog) may have gotten horribly injured or even killed by Tink. You tried your best to help her, and she had a good life with you. There are some things that can't be fixed though, no matter how hard we try. It will take time to heal this wound.

Karin and Dave

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post #9 of 18 (permalink) Old 04-24-2009, 02:12 PM
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Re: What do I do?

On my end, laying it all out helps. There are two other dogs in your home. You did right by all three. The Humane Society didn't give you much choice when you faced the current situation. Your only good option would have been to rehome her earlier. It is so hard to recognize when to do that. Even if you had, the outcome might have been no better for Tink. You gave her good times that she wouldn't have had without you. You did what you could, you did right by all three dogs and yourself. Doing right isn't always easy.

Do not think this was in vain. I think Tink's experience can be very helpful to other people and to the board. Often the board doesn't support for rehoming a dog before the situation is critical. Perhaps your story will help us step back in our assessment when people are considering rehoming one of their animals. It may also help people evaluate whether or not to adopt a dog aggressive dog, how to evaluate the situation if they do.
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post #10 of 18 (permalink) Old 04-24-2009, 02:23 PM
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Re: What do I do?

I have an APBT too.. reading this made me start crying.. I don't know what advice I could offer you, I don't know I'd be able to handle what you had to do. It's going to hurt for a long time.. just keep your other pups close, love on them whenever you're hurting.

You gave her a great life. So many APBTs out there are tied to a 4 foot chain in someone's backyard with no attention, no water, no food. And so many APBTs out there are euthanized at the shelter.. your Tink was fortunate enough to have you there to be with her.

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Maya - 2.5 year old American Pit Bull Terrier (rescue)
Roger - 2 year old German Shepherd Dog (rescue)
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