What do I do?
I posted about having to put down our pittie a couple of days ago.
I have never felt this way... I haven't eaten since tuesday without being physically ill and losing what I'd just taken in.
I am so lost right now, I feel like we could have done more... We could not keep her, but due to the contract we signed at the adoption, we had to speak with the SPCA before finding her a rescue.
They needed to know why we were rehoming, and when we told, they said that our choices were to bring her in for a two week quarantine before euthanasia, or we put her down ourselves. Of course we did it ourselves.. I didn't want her to spend the last days of her life in a cold cell with strangers passing some nasty food under the gate, in her own excretions... Afraid.
We just spent several hundred dollars that day to care for the dog she attacked, and could not afford the vet's extra $100 fee to come to our home.
So she went to him... She was hugged and loved as he put the needle in her arm, and of course something had to go wrong and her vein failed, but he got enough in to put her to sleep. After she was out he administered the rest.
I feel like I've betrayed her. She trusted me so much. She was attacked as a pup and had severe fear aggression... She got over that with me, she knew I'd protect her. She learned so fast, she tried her best to please..
I haven't even felt this way when grandparents and such have died.
Seeing her head hung limp and her body broken has torn my heart.
What can I do to ease this?
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