No Stinkin' Leashes Moderator
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: SF Bay Area
I think this is going to be a very challenging situation. First, I would have a serious talk with him before making any decisions, and I would make it clear that you will be doing all the training. Also, he is not allowed to undermine your training in any way. He needs to be consistent, use the same commands you've trained, and hold the puppy to the same standards. That means he can't tell the puppy to sit or down or come, and then allow it to blow him off.
What can help is to have a separate set of less formal commands with different criteria. If I train the dogs that my recall command means that they stop what they're doing immediately, run to me, and sit in front, I don't want my husband using that command and not holding them to the same criteria. Around the house I'll say "over here", or "c'mon" for my dogs to come towards me at no particular speed and without requiring a sit. That way, my "come" command doesn't get watered down. Heel means one thing, but you can have a separate loose leash walk command with lower criteria (I use "let's go" for my LLW cue).
If your boyfriend is the kind who would read training/behavior books (my husband is not), that would be a good place to start. Some of them are less "how to", but have great insight into how dogs think, which I think would be helpful for him. He's going to need to get over his impatience and learn about realistic expectations, especially for a puppy. Now is the time for that, not after you bring that puppy home because impatience is going to lead to frustration and arguments. I'd also look into training facilities near you, so you have a plan in place. And even if he's not going to be actively doing the training, he should go to classes with you, so he knows what you're working on, and how you're going about it so he can reinforce your efforts rather than undermining them.
If he's not able to listen to you and agree to at the least not get in the way, then I'd rethink your decision to get a puppy. Years ago I'd ask my husband to help me train, but finally realized that if his heart wasn't in it, I'd be better off just doing it all myself because I'd continually be frustrated at his lack of commitment to the process, which was a source of conflict. I'm the kind of person who enjoys taking classes with my dogs, I love reading training books and watching videos online, and learning about new methods to try. Tom thinks all that is about as stimulating as watching paint dry, lol. He's loves dogs, and actually grew up with them, which I did not. I was a cat person when I met him, but we got a GSD pup (and a kitten!) when we were married in 1986 and I fell in love with the breed.
Keefer 8/25/05-4/24/19 ~ The sweetest boy
Halo 11/9/08-6/17/18 ~ You left pawprints on our hearts
Dena 9/12/04-10/4/08 ~ Forever would have been too short