Rough with dogs - how to handle - German Shepherd Dog Forums
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post #1 of 17 (permalink) Old 10-21-2015, 07:14 PM Thread Starter
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Rough with dogs - how to handle

A friend of a family member visits us occasionally. A few years ago we had a reactive foster with us, who was separated from guests in another area. One of us took the dog outside and a saw the dog, ran over and shook his snout. The dog understandably snapped at him, but missed. The young man was upset and claimed he thought it was our own dog at the time, even though they look very different.

Then earlier this year, he was visiting again, and I let my female run into the room to say hello. She had met him before and they got along. Instead, before he could even react, she ran up to him and starting a barking frenzy. I couldn't call her off, so I immediately stepped between them and gave her a hand signal to leave the room, now! She knows "Go" and ran into the room with her crate and waited inside it for me. I kept her in there until he left. In both cases, he made comments about out of control rescued dogs, which I thought was unfair. I have no idea why she reacted out of character. Something about him scared her or alerted her that something wasn't right, but I don't know what that was. She was not around when he shook the other dog.

He also knew we were getting a puppy from a breeder sometime this year. Once he heard that we had settled on a dog, he started ranting about that breeders are terrible and everyone should get a rescue dog, only and that German Shepherds are a "bad breed."

I told my family he is not welcome back in our home and the next time he came over, I said he can stay out front but he cannot come into the house or be around my dogs. I don't want him anywhere near our puppy.

I have two questions. Has anyone else ever forbid a family friend from coming into your home or near your dogs? How do you stop someone from touching your dogs like that? It's never happened before or since. It was so fast, I couldn't have done anything.
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post #2 of 17 (permalink) Old 10-21-2015, 08:08 PM
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Your house, your rules.

The first time someone does something, shame on them; the second time, shame on you. You know that this person is not someone you want interacting with your dogs, ever. You can have crates for your dogs in a bedroom or basement and put the dogs up when he comes over and restrict access to their area -- lock the bedroom or cellar door.

Or, you can not invite him into your home.

Allowing this person around your dogs again, if something happens, it is totally on you.

Chances are this person is terribly afraid of the breed. His fear he can hide from you, but not from the dogs. I believe that dogs can sense negative emotions, though they may not be able to determine if someone is thinking about mugging you or stealing our purse, or if the person is afraid the dog is going to bite his throat out. The dog senses something BAD. And some dogs will react to that.

When people are nervous or afraid they can have changes in their body odor and breath. Dogs can sniff cancer in people before doctors' tests can find it, they can certainly smell fear (BAD feelings) emanating from people.

The best bet is to keep the interface to zero.

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post #3 of 17 (permalink) Old 10-21-2015, 08:24 PM
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I'd tell my mom to take a hike and not return if she acted the way this "friend of the fam" has.

My dogs, my rules. I make sure my dogs are alive and well every day, I wouldn't put them in jeopardy to make anyone feel better.

If you don't want him in your house or around your dogs, that is your choice
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post #4 of 17 (permalink) Old 10-21-2015, 10:24 PM Thread Starter
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You are both right, I need to tell the family member why this person is not welcome. I was trying not to cause an awkward situation or appear rude to other people who don't know the whole story, but you're reinforcing what I thought.

Seltzer, you're right, now that you said it, I see he's terrified of my dogs. He claims to be a dog advocate and involved with a rescue group but something is going on. There might be a mental health condition. I never asked, but I can't put my dogs at risk to make someone else feel better.
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post #5 of 17 (permalink) Old 10-21-2015, 10:45 PM
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I think there's something else besides fear going on too. That shaking the dog's muzzle thing does not equate.....

After seeing and hearing what he is trying to tell you and his insults - you did exactly right. This person has shown an imbalance, he has gotten physical with a dog and your dogs picking up on some garbage in his behavior.

My husband and I had a friend like that. He was over at our house on his second visit and tried to get "training aggressive" with my wolf/shepherd. There was a warning growl from my dog (nice of him to warn under the circumstances)..... I had told him twice to lay off - he didn't. When I heard the growl and saw he had my dog by the neck I grabbed him by the back of his shirt and pushed him up against the kitchen cabinet and said "No - my dog my house". (may seem harsh but that's how I learned you treat half drunk Texas cowboys if you want any respect).

I must have looked really threatening with a spatula in my hand. Worked anyway, he ended up being one of our best friends thru thick and thin for 30 years.
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post #6 of 17 (permalink) Old 10-22-2015, 01:10 AM
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I'm still so new at having a gsd. I have a friend who allowed her infant to repeatedly hit my dog. Read:" stop baby." Baby hit dog. She said, "Stop baby." Baby hit dog. Repeat ad nauseum. Eventually my very sweet chihuahua snarled at her child. This dog never snarled at anyone before or after this. Do you think I let my gsd be around her or her kid?! No way. It's an accident waiting to happen. An accident my gsd would be blamed for.

So, I place dear Xindi in a crate or on leash when I have her or others as visitors.
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post #7 of 17 (permalink) Old 10-22-2015, 03:59 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by XindisMom View Post
I'm still so new at having a gsd. I have a friend who allowed her infant to repeatedly hit my dog. Read:" stop baby." Baby hit dog. She said, "Stop baby." Baby hit dog. Repeat ad nauseum. Eventually my very sweet chihuahua snarled at her child. This dog never snarled at anyone before or after this. Do you think I let my gsd be around her or her kid?! No way. It's an accident waiting to happen. An accident my gsd would be blamed for.

So, I place dear Xindi in a crate or on leash when I have her or others as visitors.
Very good For some reason - it's our job to keep the ignorant safe
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post #8 of 17 (permalink) Old 10-22-2015, 04:13 AM
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Some people may see it as "rude" but honestly? Your dog, your rules. Especially since it's in your own house/property.

I have a low tolerance for that kind of behavior as-is. But when it comes to my family or my pets? I have no tolerance whatsoever.

If someone makes a mistake? That's fine. If you tell someone to stop said behaviors and they do so? It's fine. But if I tell someone to knock something off and they continue doing it? They can get out and stay out.


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post #9 of 17 (permalink) Old 10-22-2015, 08:38 AM
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My parents are divorced. My dad and I bought a house together. My parents are amicable towards each other, but after about 20 minutes, my dad's had enough. My mom doesn't like dogs. She says she does, but she doesn't and she knows nothing about them (which is fine, she has a cat LOL)

When Ky was a puppy she met my mom twice. It was the most annoying 10 minute visits ever and I swore I would never put my dog through those visits again. And I don't. My mom comes over about four times a year (yes, we live in the same city), and during those visits, Ky is in her cage. The last two times, I just told my mom that she's at her "dog friends" house so she doesn't look for her.

This summer, my dad and I were working in the backyard, and my mother dropped by unannounced. Instead of coming to the gate and calling out to us, she waltzed through the house and onto the back deck. Well, Ky is already barking up a storm (before my mom was on the deck) and I'm going towards her to see what's going on. The next thing I know the back door opens and my mom comes out onto the deck and Ky's running up the stairs towards her.

My mother should be eternally grateful that I have trained my dog, because I just hollered KY DOWN, and she dropped. My mother started freaking out on me. I ignored her, called Ky over to me, put her in a down and just looked at my dad with that look - YOU DEAL WITH HER.

Now, my dad loves Ky but he doesn't really know much about dogs LOL. I got Ky a month after we bought the house together. He knows all about Ky, and he was NOT going to let my mom get away with her behaviour. He laced into her like you wouldn't believe and I was stunned! I had never heard my dad speak to my mom that way, but let me tell you - she certainly got an earful and there was nothing left for me to add.

She started to yell back at my dad and Ky growled and I looked at my mom, and said ... why don't you just leave right now and come back in 5 minutes?

She left but didn't come back for about 3 months.

My dad and I still joke about how Ky has saved us from "unwanted drop ins" in the future!

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post #10 of 17 (permalink) Old 10-22-2015, 09:33 AM
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My dog is just as much a family member as any human (and sometimes a lot MORE). No one treats my family with anything but respect, or they are free to leave.
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