Grieving Dog - German Shepherd Dog Forums
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post #1 of 13 (permalink) Old 03-14-2012, 10:29 AM Thread Starter
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Grieving Dog

I am not sure where this post should be but decided to try here. Recently lost my WGSD, Daisy. It happened very quickly with no time to prepare ourselves. Her adopted sister Allie is grieving and I am not sure how to handle it. The other night she kept wanting to go out the kitchen door and I finally let her but escorted by me because the front yard is not fenced. She went straight to the car on the carport and began sniffing. I finally let her get in the car and she laid in the back seat where her sister had taken her last ride. She just wanted to stay there and she does not like to ride in cars so this was a bit odd. She also goes to the shed in the fenced in back yard and either goes under to stay for awhile or just sniffs at all the openings. This was Daisy's favorite spot on hot days when she was outside. I am giving her lots of love and rub downs. Keeping her on the same feeding schedule as before. I have not removed Daisy's feeding station yet as that is where the water dish is but I have removed her food dish. I am spending a lot of time with Allie, going outside with her, playing with her. She is an older GSD with some arthritus issues but can still tree a critter who dares to come into her back yard. I just need tips from others who have encountered similar issues with their dogs grief and how they get them through it. Thank you for reading.

Oh to hear him bark once more, to hold his face and look into his soul, to watch his deep even breaths as he sleeps at my feet..someday.
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post #2 of 13 (permalink) Old 03-14-2012, 10:35 AM
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I'm sorry to hear about your girl Daisy

I absolutely think dogs mourn the loss as well. My parents buried their 14 yr old mixed breed female in the yard when she passed away. Their other female was lost without her for weeks, she would go & literally lay where she was buried & bring all of her toys there & lay them down one by one. She would also skip meals...she did after about 4 weeks come back around & was back to normal.

I have no personal experience with this but my parents just carried on as usual & allowed her to have her time when she wanted to lay in the yard at the burial site.
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post #3 of 13 (permalink) Old 03-14-2012, 10:47 AM
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Poor Allie. Sounds like your doing a lot to help her.
One morning when my husbands horse died, I had no choice but to go into work for a few hours. It was better than waiting at home for them to take her away. Anyway when I got home and walked to the barn, my horse got up and whinnyed to me. It was heart wrenching. My neighbor came over and told me he laid by her side all morning. I was really confused if I wanted to take him out in the trails while they took her or just leave him in his stall. I decided to leave him in his stall so he wouldn't be looking for her. I really feel he knew she was dead or what ever understanding he had. He didn't cry for her after they took her away.
Since then as morbid as it may seem I allow my critters to see the body of the dearly departed.
Give her lots of extra love. Sorry you lost your other girl.

Carolyn
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post #4 of 13 (permalink) Old 03-14-2012, 10:57 AM
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Originally Posted by maggie40 View Post
She just wanted to stay there and she does not like to ride in cars so this was a bit odd. She also goes to the shed in the fenced in back yard and either goes under to stay for awhile or just sniffs at all the openings. This was Daisy's favorite spot on hot days when she was outside. I am giving her lots of love and rub downs. Keeping her on the same feeding schedule as before. I have not removed Daisy's feeding station yet as that is where the water dish is but I have removed her food dish. I am spending a lot of time with Allie, going outside with her, playing with her. She is an older GSD with some arthritus issues but can still tree a critter who dares to come into her back yard. I just need tips from others who have encountered similar issues with their dogs grief and how they get them through it. Thank you for reading.
Our Buddy lost his littermate and lifelong companion last November. In the last 5 years we've lost 2 other senior dogs and his kids (our daughters) have gone off to college. After this last blow I didn't think we were going to get him back. He never wanted car rides before but like your Allie he wants them now. I think because that is the last place he saw Shadow. He had no interest in any type of toys or playing. He just seemed to age overnight. We gave him lots of hugs, loves and attention. I started taking him for car rides at least once a day. Even if it was only to the mail box and back.

Finally in desperation we started searching for a friend for him. He didn't like any of the senior or older rescues we introduced him too, but we noticed he watched puppies. Last week I got a call from one of the rescues asking me to go look at a little Border Collie pup in the Lyon County Shelter. He was on the kill list. I called that day, and made arrangements to bring Buddy to meet him first thing in the morning. I had very little hope of it working. Not only was this puppy a baby 4-5 months but he was male. Wonder of wonders, Buddy seemed to know he was a baby and was very careful with him. We decided to try. We brought the little terror home with us.

Never in a millon years did I expect what happened. That darn puppy slowly wormed his way to Buddy in a way my husband and I could not reach. It hasn't even been a full week yet, but Buddy's eyes are spakling again. He is runing in the yard playing with the puppy and teaching him all the bad things I didn't want him to know, like how to find owl poop. Aarrgg... Tearing hair out. However it is worth it to see that sparkle in my Buddy's eyes once more. I'm not saying get a dog right away. It's been 4 months since we lost our Shadow. Buddy had time to grieve. We gave him lots and lots of loves and extra attention. It is going to take time. Last night the puppy was following my husband around and I said look you have a Shadow. (That was my old dogs name) Buddy put his head on my lap and gave me such a sad look that I know he is not completley done grieving but I think we are all slowly healing. Give it time. Give lots of loves and extra attention and cherish each and every moment.
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post #5 of 13 (permalink) Old 03-14-2012, 11:02 AM
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My husband had to carry our 120 lb Chance out the front door, but I was holding his leash to keep him calm. My greyhound and Pom both saw this happen. We came him hours later without him. My greyhound had no idea what had happened as she knew we left with him and the look on her face said it all.
We cried so much in the coming weeks. It was so hard for all of us. That night, Shelby went to bed with us. She came upstairs and looked at Chance's bed, sniffed, ran around the bedroom looking for him, left the room, went to the hall, spare room, bathroom, went downstairs, but she couldn't find him. She flew upstairs to her bed where she laid down and started shaking violently. I kneeled beside her and she jumped up and ran away from me.
For weeks, she wouldn't leave the house with me, except to go into the yard, but i couldn't leash her, she wouldn't let me. I tried to take her to work with me but she slipped her collar and ran back to the house. So i left her home.
I had to take my Pom for a vet appt. I picked him up and walked him to the door. Shelby blocked the door and wouldn't let me pass. I had to physically move her out of the way. When I came home with Louie, she looked relieved. She still won't eat for me if I put her food down. My husband will feed her and she will eat what he provides but she seems to still blame me. She won't work for me and shoots me dagger eyes all day long, even when I bring her to work with me.
It feels like she blames me for her best friend leaving. She is super sensitive, being a greyhound, but when we get our puppy, I feel she will straighten out. She still looks for him, every day, calls to him but he never comes. It's so heartbreaking.
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post #6 of 13 (permalink) Old 03-14-2012, 11:04 AM
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I had 2 littermates for 15 years. Murphy was ill for a few days with a swollen spleen. Vet reckoned he might die over the weekend, and if not I was to bring him in on Monday to be p.t.s. Anyways I was feeding him chicken and rice soup over the weekend, (they normally ate kibble). On Sunday I was mowing the lawn out front, Murphy was lying on his doggie bed in the driveway watching me. When I finished mowing and was coming back to put in the mower, he had passed. It was quite sad. Anyhow I brought his sister Katie out to say her goodbyes, thinking that she might get emotional. She took one sniff of Murphy, then went over to his food bowl and proceeded to gobble up all the chicken/rice he hadn't ate, then went back to the rear garden. It was a funny moment at a sad time. She never showed any major signs of missing him even after 15 yrs together. Katie died about 6 months later.
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post #7 of 13 (permalink) Old 03-14-2012, 11:16 AM
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I totally agree with Carolyn, when at all possible allow the living pet see that his friend has died. I had a pair of guinea pigs. One got sick, went to the Emergency Vet, where he died. His little buddy grieved for him and would not eat. He recovered and bonded with a new guinea pig friend. When that friend died, it was at home and I let the other guinea pig sniff her. He truly seemed to understand and did not react the same way as he did to the previous loss.

I am so sorry for your loss of Daisy and for the sadness that is also shared by Allie. Allow Allie to grieve for as long as she needs to - just as you would person. She will come around in her time. Down the road, Allie may be ready for a new companion.

Best wishes for all of your hearts to heal!
Jan
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post #8 of 13 (permalink) Old 03-14-2012, 11:20 AM
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Poor Allie. That has to be hard for her. I'm so sorry for your loss. It sounds like you are doing the right things with her.

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Waiting for us at the bridge is Chases Chieftain aka Chiefy Left this earth and left a hole in our hearts July 2000
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post #9 of 13 (permalink) Old 03-14-2012, 11:24 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pfitzpa1 View Post
I had 2 littermates for 15 years. Murphy was ill for a few days with a swollen spleen. Vet reckoned he might die over the weekend, and if not I was to bring him in on Monday to be p.t.s. Anyways I was feeding him chicken and rice soup over the weekend, (they normally ate kibble). On Sunday I was mowing the lawn out front, Murphy was lying on his doggie bed in the driveway watching me. When I finished mowing and was coming back to put in the mower, he had passed. It was quite sad. Anyhow I brought his sister Katie out to say her goodbyes, thinking that she might get emotional. She took one sniff of Murphy, then went over to his food bowl and proceeded to gobble up all the chicken/rice he hadn't ate, then went back to the rear garden. It was a funny moment at a sad time. She never showed any major signs of missing him even after 15 yrs together. Katie died about 6 months later.
Oh my goodness. I'm sorry for laughing, but that really was funny. I definitely do think that there is a difference when the companions KNOW that the other has passed. Perhaps Katie would not have taken Murphy/s death so well, if she had not had the chance to say goodbye.
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post #10 of 13 (permalink) Old 03-14-2012, 11:34 AM
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These are very pack driven animals and when something changes, much less a loss of a buddy, they definitely know that something is not right. We have always had at least 2 dogs and when one passed we saw the difference in behavior.

I take my male to training every week and my wife tells me that our other dog is thrown off, sits by the window and is not real interested in doing much.

Don't know if another dog is in the picture but we have found that filling that gap seems to bring peace to the remaining dog. Best of luck.
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