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post #1 of 3 (permalink) Old 01-17-2011, 11:14 PM Thread Starter
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Location: Richmond, VA
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For all animal lovers

Someone sent this to me in an email. I don't know if it has been posted before but I thought it was really cute.


TO: all you pet lovers.....

The following should be posted very low on a refrigerator door:

Dear Dogs and Cats:

The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other
dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of
my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and
dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me
to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall
faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about
this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your
comfort, however. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they
sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other,
stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking
tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to
maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some
miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not
necessary to claw, whine, meow, and try to turn the knob or get your paw
under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the
same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years -
canine/feline attendance is not required.

The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other
dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on
the front door:

TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:

(1) They live here. You don't.

(2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
That's why they call it 'fur'-niture.

(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.

(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who
are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.

Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:

(1) eat less,

(2) don't ask for money all the time,

(3) are easier to train,

(4) normally come when called,

(5) never ask to drive the car,

(6) don't hang out with drug-using people,

(7) don't smoke or drink,

(8) don't want to wear your clothes,

(9) don't have to buy the latest fashions,

(10) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and

(11) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children ..

Debbi-
Mom to:
-Dharma Van Fluffy Pants GSD
-Pippa Von Neurotic Butt- GSD
-Tessa- 11yo GSD- Waiting at the Bridge. RIP sweet girl.
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post #2 of 3 (permalink) Old 01-17-2011, 11:19 PM
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Location: Colorado
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hehe i always love reading this. Thanks for posting

Shasta GSD 5/5/10 CGC, ITD, TC
"Dax" Thor z vom Weberhaus BCAT CAX2 CGCA ETD HCT NCO-1 PKD-T RATI RATN RA TC TKA 3/18/2013
"Hades" Guilty vom Blutfeuer 10/26/2018
Zena GSD 6/1/03-2/16/2016
Riley GSD/BC 1/10/05-2/1/2013
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post #3 of 3 (permalink) Old 01-18-2011, 07:32 AM
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Location: Australia
Posts: 3,472
Love it! Thanks for sharing

Miss Molly Moo (aka The Piranha/The four legged Mouth) GSD 31/10
Raennik Hassan (Cooper) GSD 19/10/11
Paris Tabby Cat 15 years
Texas Tabby Cat 15 years
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