A Few Random Jokes - German Shepherd Dog Forums
 
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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 10-09-2008, 01:41 PM Thread Starter
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A Few Random Jokes

Sent to me today, thought I'd share Enjoy!

*************************************************
One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want."

So he tied her up and went golfing.

**************************************************

A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, "Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!"

The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?" "Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get out."

**************************************************

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.

******************************** ******************

A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license.

First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test. The optician showed him a card with the letters:
'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'

"Can you read this?" the optician asked.

"Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."

************************************************ **
Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them,

"I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent."

"Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so tired of chardonnay."

**************************************************
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.

Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.

"Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD!
You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Tu r n them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful . CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"
The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs? "

The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."

Nikki
Proud Mom to
Katie black & tan GSD 3 years old
Titan all black GSD 2 years old
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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 10-09-2008, 02:21 PM
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Re: A Few Random Jokes

Loved them!

Diabla Boroluz, my Daemon; IPO-A1, RH-T A
Akela de Poputchik, my Direwolf; IPO-2, Kkl1
Calais vom Adler Stein; IPO-A1, Kkl1
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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 10-09-2008, 02:34 PM
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Re: A Few Random Jokes

I needed a laugh today. Thanks that put me in a better mood!

Sandra
Larka GSD 1/4/06 Palla GSD 7/16/06 Loki adopted 8/23/08
Badger,Miss Crabtree & Shafford, the kitty krew
Waiting at the bridge;Palla,Tucker,Chance, Brandy and Lacy. I'll miss you to the end of eternity, and love you twice as long.
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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 10-09-2008, 06:44 PM Thread Starter
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Re: A Few Random Jokes

Quote:
Originally Posted By: crabbyI needed a laugh today. Thanks that put me in a better mood!
Good!! Your pic on the photo contest made my day! Cute pups!!!

Nikki
Proud Mom to
Katie black & tan GSD 3 years old
Titan all black GSD 2 years old
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