It's joke time!!! - German Shepherd Dog Forums
 
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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 07-12-2008, 08:06 PM Thread Starter
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It's joke time!!!

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.

'Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday.'

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, 'Sure. I have this,' and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, 'There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral.'

She holds up the tiny pink elephant. 'I mean, what in the world is this?'

(you're gonna love this)

The bank manager looks back at her and says...

'It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan, His old man's a Rolling Stone.'


(You're singing it, aren't you? Yeah, I know you are........ )



One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very Sexy nightie. 'Tie me up,' she purred, 'and you can do anything you want.' So he tied her up and went golfing.



A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. 'Careful,' he said, 'CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the! salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!' The wife stared at him. 'What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?' The husband calmly replied, 'I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving.'



The Three Little Pigs
Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night. The waiter came and took their drink order.

'I would like a Sprite,' said the first little piggy.
'I would like a Coke,' said the second little piggy.
'I want beer, lots and lots of beer,' said the third little piggy.

The drinks were brought out and the waiter took their orders for dinner.

'I want a nice big steak,' said the first piggy.
'I would like the salad plate,' said the second piggy.
'I want beer, lots and lots of beer,' said the third little piggy.
The meals were brought out and a while later the waiter approached the table and asked if the piggies would like any dessert.

'I want a banana split,' said the first piggy.
'I want a cheesecake,' said the second piggy.
'I want beer, lots and lots of beer,' exclaimed the third little piggy. 'Pardon me for asking,' said the waiter to the third little piggy,'??
But why have you only ordered beer all evening?'?

You're gonna LOVE me for this....The third piggy says -
'Well, somebody has to go 'Wee, wee, wee, all the way home!!!

~Jennifer
Mom to Elle and Emma!
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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 07-12-2008, 08:20 PM
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Re: It's joke time!!!

2 blondes walked into a building....










you'd think one of them would have seen it.

-Jenn

Venus of Crooked Creek 1/26/13
Otto von Hena-C 05/23/08
Morgan Donnermond 08/04/01 to 9/28/12 Long Live the Queen!

I have duct tape and I am not afraid to use it.
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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 07-12-2008, 08:20 PM Thread Starter
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Re: It's joke time!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted By: SunCzarina2 blondes walked into a building....










you'd think one of them would have seen it.

~Jennifer
Mom to Elle and Emma!
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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 07-12-2008, 08:33 PM
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Re: It's joke time!!!

Two blondes were driving to Florida for vacation, and saw a sign that said "Disneyland LEFT"

So they turned around and went home.
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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 07-12-2008, 09:45 PM Thread Starter
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Re: It's joke time!!!

Good one Sue!! lol

~Jennifer
Mom to Elle and Emma!
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