Canine Etiquette Tips... - German Shepherd Dog Forums
 
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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 04-25-2008, 06:00 PM Thread Starter
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Canine Etiquette Tips...

VISITORS: Quickly determine which guest is afraid of dogs. Charge across the room, barking loudly and leap playfully on this person. If the human falls down on the floor and starts crying, lick its face and growl gently to show your concern.

BARKING: Because you are a dog, you are expected to bark. So bark--- a lot. Your owners will be very happy to hear you protecting their house. Especially late at night while they are sleeping safely in their beds. There is no more secure feeling for a human than to keep waking up in the middle of the night and hearing your protective bark, bark, bark...

LICKING: Always take a BIG drink from your water dish immediately before licking your human. Humans prefer clean tongues. Be ready to fetch your human a towel.

HOLES: Rather than digging a BIG hole in the middle of the yard and upsetting your human, dig a lot of smaller holes all over the yard so they won't notice. If you arrange a little pile of dirt on one side of each hole, maybe they'll think it's gophers. There are never enough holes in the ground. Strive daily to do your part to help correct this problem.

DOORS: The area directly in front of a door is always reserved for the family dog to sleep.

THE ART OF SNIFFING: Humans like to be sniffed. Everywhere. It is your duty, as the family dog, to accommodate them.

DINING ETIQUETTE: Always sit under the table at dinner, especially when there are guests, so you can clean up any food that falls on the floor. It's also a good time to practice your sniffing.

HOUSEBREAKING: Housebreaking is very important to humans, so break as much of the house as possible.

GOING FOR WALKS: Rules of the road: When out for a walk with your master or mistress, never go to the bathroom on your own lawn.

COUCHES: It is perfectly permissible to lie on the new couch after all your humans have gone to bed.

PLAYING: If you lose your footing while chasing a ball or stick, use the flower bed to absorb your fall so you don't injure yourself.

CHASING CATS: When chasing cats, make sure you never--- quite--- catch them. It spoils all the fun.

CHEWING: Make a contribution to the fashion industry. ...Eat a shoe.
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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 04-25-2008, 06:11 PM
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Re: Canine Etiquette Tips...

I'll have to print that one out!


Mel

Mom to:

Romeo (M GSD, rescue)

my angels...

Maggie (RIP, F GSD, shelter)

Colby - (RIP, M GSD, shelter)
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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 04-25-2008, 06:15 PM
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Re: Canine Etiquette Tips...

This ones going on the fridge next to the Letter to My Dogs! LMAO

HOLES: Rather than digging a BIG hole in the middle of the yard and upsetting your human, dig a lot of smaller holes all over the yard so they won't notice. If you arrange a little pile of dirt on one side of each hole, maybe they'll think it's gophers. There are never enough holes in the ground. Strive daily to do your part to help correct this problem.

They;ve got this one down pat! Brett will be mowing the lawn and hit a *landmine* on the ride on mower! Its too funny, but apparently he doesnt think so!

PLAYING: If you lose your footing while chasing a ball or stick, use the flower bed to absorb your fall so you don't injure yourself.

The FLOWER BED also can be used as the finish line on their racetrack, they run around the trees and then make a breakaway slide into the flowers... SAAAAFFFFEEE! LMAO This is why we no longer have flower beds where the dogs can be..

Ailyn, Mommy to:

Mya - 3 year old GSD
Bear - 1 year old GSD
Abby - 3 year old ACD/shep mix
Teddy - 2 year old amer. pit bull

"No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does." - Christopher Morley
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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 04-25-2008, 08:27 PM
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Re: Canine Etiquette Tips...

Quote:
Quote: HOUSEBREAKING: Housebreaking is very important to humans, so break as much of the house as possible.
When I started to read English dog forums, I had the same misconception

Diabla Boroluz, my Daemon; IPO-A1, RH-T A
Akela de Poputchik, my Direwolf; IPO-2, Kkl1
Calais vom Adler Stein; IPO-A1, Kkl1
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