Best Craigs List ad ever - German Shepherd Dog Forums
 
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post #1 of 8 (permalink) Old 02-26-2009, 06:46 PM Thread Starter
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Best Craigs List ad ever

Subject: Best Craig's List ad ever!

To the Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown Savannah:

I was the guy with the black Burberry jacket that you demanded I hand over shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I hope you somehow come across this message. I'd like to apologize.
I didn't expect you to crap your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a reason that evening, and it wasn't that cold outside. You see, my girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber 1911 .45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and we had just picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening. Beautiful pistol, eh? It's a very intimidating wea pon when pointed at your head, isn't it?
I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge flopping about in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse since you also ended up leaving your shoes, cellphone, and wallet with me. I couldn't have you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try to mug us again. I took the liberty of calling your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, and explaining to her your situation. I also bought myself some gas on your card. I gave your shoes to one of the home less guys over by Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all of the cash in your wallet, then I threw the wallet itself in a dumpster.
I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell. They'll be on your bill in case you'd like to know whic h ones. Alltel recently shut down the line, and I've only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I don't know what's going on with that. I hope they haven't permanently cut off your service. I was about to make some threatening phone calls to the DA's office with it. Oh well.
So, about your pants. I know that I was a little rough on you when you did this whole attempted mugging thing, so I'd like to make it up to you. I'm sure you've already washed your pants, so I'd like to help you out. I'd like to reimburse you for the detergent you used on the pants. What brand did you use, and was it liquid or powder? I'd also like to apologize for not killing you and instead making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky. If you read this message, email me and we'll do lunch and laundry. Peace!
- Alex



Bonnie

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Buddy, CGC & certified therapy dog (golden, tripod)

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post #2 of 8 (permalink) Old 02-26-2009, 06:50 PM
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Re: Best Craigs List ad ever

High fives and applause all around!

Renji - 6 y/o M GSD x chow rescue


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"German shepherd dog breeding is working dog breeding or it is not German shepherd dog breeding." -v. Stephanitz
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post #3 of 8 (permalink) Old 02-26-2009, 06:54 PM
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Re: Best Craigs List ad ever

lol i hope his mom kicks his butt!
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post #4 of 8 (permalink) Old 02-26-2009, 07:00 PM
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Re: Best Craigs List ad ever

good job. i would have shot him in both legs (knee area) along with
robbing him. i'm glad you and you're GF are ok.
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post #5 of 8 (permalink) Old 02-26-2009, 07:02 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Best Craigs List ad ever

It isn't me, doggiedad - it was just something someone sent to me. Sorry I did not say that.

Loved it though.

Bonnie

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With approval from:
Skye, CGC & certified therapy dog (GSD)
Buddy, CGC & certified therapy dog (golden, tripod)

RIP
Sophie - the life was too short dog
Solo - CGC, AAT 'stars in the sky dog'
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post #6 of 8 (permalink) Old 02-26-2009, 07:17 PM
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Re: Best Craigs List ad ever

it' still a good story.
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post #7 of 8 (permalink) Old 02-26-2009, 07:48 PM
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Re: Best Craigs List ad ever

Love it!!!!
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post #8 of 8 (permalink) Old 02-27-2009, 08:32 PM
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Re: Best Craigs List ad ever

LOL Good one!

Sandra
Larka GSD 1/4/06 Palla GSD 7/16/06 Loki adopted 8/23/08
Badger,Miss Crabtree & Shafford, the kitty krew
Waiting at the bridge;Palla,Tucker,Chance, Brandy and Lacy. I'll miss you to the end of eternity, and love you twice as long.
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