Did I Respond/Act Correctly? - German Shepherd Dog Forums
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post #1 of 17 (permalink) Old 02-06-2012, 12:42 PM Thread Starter
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Question Did I Respond/Act Correctly?

This is going to be LONG!!!

I’m looking to see if my Reaction/Response was the correct in the following situation. It has to do with my sister/her puppy and my puppy, and I feel bad that we’re now in a full blown argument, but I think I acted responsibly and I want other GSD owners opinions on it. (My hubby fully thinks I responded appropriately)

Background Info: My younger sister has a 6+ month old Black Lab/Golden Retriever/Border Collie cross. She lives with my mom & stepdad (I live elsewhere with hubby). She’s a sweet dog, just sooo full of energy. She plays friendly, but very rough, especially with dogs smaller than she is. Usually it’s just a lot of wrestling, but I don’t like the pinning to the ground, hard nipping, etc. She is also toy possessive and will fight with other dogs for toys/sticks/rocks, etc. She can also be jealous of other dogs are getting affection and she isn’t, she’ll attempt to butt her way in.
So Saturday, my mom wanted us to bring Jazmyn for a visit, as they hadn’t seen her in almost 3-4 weeks. We knew this meant that she might run into my sister’s puppy, but we weren’t sure if they should interact. My plan was if I wasn’t comfortable with them interacting, we would just hang out on the front lawn and have my mom come out, no biggie right?

So Friday night, I get texts from my sister reminding me not to bring toys for Jazmyn to avoid any issue. I wasn’t going to anyway. She also asked that if they play rough, that I not freak out. At this point I said to her…I’m not really ready for Jazmyn to play “rough & wrestle”. She hasn’t been around other dogs since she’s been home (has had coccidia and we were waiting for the 12 week shot), and I don’t want her first experience with one to be extremely rough when she’s not ready for it. That just set her off. She said I wasn’t socializing Jaz properly, and that Jazmyn needed to play rough with other dogs to “learn her place” and to be taught lessons on how to interact. “That’s how dogs play, and that’s how they play at the park” she said (they’re dog park lovers, and it works for them). I don’t entirely agree. I think at 12 weeks, Jazmyn looks to me for how she should interact, and how much I will let her tolerate from another dog. The rough play just isn’t acceptable as her first meeting with a dog.

Puppy school starts tomorrow (YAY!) and I want her interacting with puppy’s and learning to meet dogs properly. She is getting a great grasp on training (has sit, lay down, stand, stay, “Hurry up” to potty all down pat, and is learning leave it and can do a few tricks). I don’t want a rough interaction to set her back in any way. When she is slightly older and larger, has a decent recall and has better dog socialization skills (ie how to properly greet, etc), I think it’s okay if they horse around a little and play a little rough. Just not yet.

I’m okay with my decision, but now my sister & I aren’t speaking as she escalated and said some pretty nasty things. I just want to see if others think I’m wrong.

Thanks!

Lisa
Jazmyn - 11/11/2011

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post #2 of 17 (permalink) Old 02-06-2012, 12:48 PM
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I would have made the same decision you did. Your sister is wrong.

She said I wasn’t socializing Jaz properly- WRONG
Jazmyn needed to play rough with other dogs to “learn her place” - WRONG
to be taught lessons on how to interact - WRONG

Puppies will play rough but for a 6 mth old to be allowed to maul a 3 mth old is not ok.

The rough play just isn’t acceptable as her first meeting with a dog. - I agree. YOu don't want your puppy to be scared of dogs. Fear aggression is a real PIA

Why did your sister take this so personally?




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post #3 of 17 (permalink) Old 02-06-2012, 12:51 PM
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I think you have the right to decide what is acceptable for you and your dog. I personally, rarely allow other dogs to interact with my dogs, unless I am fully confident in the fact that I will be able to control what I can in the situation. Obviously, many other owners are not ok with someone else correcting a dog who doesn't belong to them, and this is where the majority of the problems lie. They don't see their dog doing anything wrong, so they don't correct it, and then the situation escalates and can turn ugly.

If you're starting puppy school, I wouldn't worry about socialization. And your girl is still so young! If your sister brings her dog to the dog park often, she could have picked something up that could easily infect a young puppy with a weak immune system. I don't really understand why people think that their dogs have to play with other dogs or they are being neglected or something. My dogs are perfectly happy going to a park and playing with me. I bought the dog for myself, and not for other dogs to enjoy.

I'd say you were perfectly right in what you told her. Good luck and have fun with puppy school!

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post #4 of 17 (permalink) Old 02-06-2012, 12:55 PM
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You were completely right!!! Your puppy is only 12 weeks old, you are there to protect her!

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post #5 of 17 (permalink) Old 02-06-2012, 01:16 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GatorDog View Post
Obviously, many other owners are not ok with someone else correcting a dog who doesn't belong to them, and this is where the majority of the problems lie. They don't see their dog doing anything wrong, so they don't correct it, and then the situation escalates and can turn ugly.
This is exactly where our problems lies. They see the rough play as totally acceptable and aren't willing to separate/correct it. So if I go to stop it because I've determined its enough, she'll get upset about it.

I think my sister took offence because she felt like we were saying her dog is uncontrollable. And in some ways, in my opinion, she is. Shes very jumpy (a habit they are unable to break), and is toy possessive/aggressive. However on the opposite end, she is super affection, has good off leash recall and is overall a good pup.

It just stinks her opinion about the whole thing is so poor. She went as far as to tell me that we're not welcome when her dog is home, as its her territory and that's not fair. Also that if we come over in the summer to use the pool, her dog will not be kept inside and Jaz will be subject to whatever play her dog wishes (ie she will not tie her dog up, etc). Very likely her huffing & puffing, as when Jaz is larger than her dog, this will be a non issue as her dog is very submissive to dogs that are larger, and really does not try to play too aggressively at all.

Thanks for the support! I was confident in my decision until my brother starting harping the same argument my sister was.

Lisa
Jazmyn - 11/11/2011

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post #6 of 17 (permalink) Old 02-06-2012, 01:27 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by *Lisa* View Post
This is going to be LONG!!!

I’m looking to see if my Reaction/Response was the correct in the following situation. It has to do with my sister/her puppy and my puppy, and I feel bad that we’re now in a full blown argument, but I think I acted responsibly and I want other GSD owners opinions on it. (My hubby fully thinks I responded appropriately)

Background Info: My younger sister has a 6+ month old Black Lab/Golden Retriever/Border Collie cross. She lives with my mom & stepdad (I live elsewhere with hubby). She’s a sweet dog, just sooo full of energy. She plays friendly, but very rough, especially with dogs smaller than she is. Usually it’s just a lot of wrestling, but I don’t like the pinning to the ground, hard nipping, etc. She is also toy possessive and will fight with other dogs for toys/sticks/rocks, etc. She can also be jealous of other dogs are getting affection and she isn’t, she’ll attempt to butt her way in.
So Saturday, my mom wanted us to bring Jazmyn for a visit, as they hadn’t seen her in almost 3-4 weeks. We knew this meant that she might run into my sister’s puppy, but we weren’t sure if they should interact. My plan was if I wasn’t comfortable with them interacting, we would just hang out on the front lawn and have my mom come out, no biggie right?

So Friday night, I get texts from my sister reminding me not to bring toys for Jazmyn to avoid any issue. I wasn’t going to anyway. She also asked that if they play rough, that I not freak out. At this point I said to her…I’m not really ready for Jazmyn to play “rough & wrestle”. She hasn’t been around other dogs since she’s been home (has had coccidia and we were waiting for the 12 week shot), and I don’t want her first experience with one to be extremely rough when she’s not ready for it. That just set her off. She said I wasn’t socializing Jaz properly, and that Jazmyn needed to play rough with other dogs to “learn her place” and to be taught lessons on how to interact. “That’s how dogs play, and that’s how they play at the park” she said (they’re dog park lovers, and it works for them). I don’t entirely agree. I think at 12 weeks, Jazmyn looks to me for how she should interact, and how much I will let her tolerate from another dog. The rough play just isn’t acceptable as her first meeting with a dog.

Puppy school starts tomorrow (YAY!) and I want her interacting with puppy’s and learning to meet dogs properly. She is getting a great grasp on training (has sit, lay down, stand, stay, “Hurry up” to potty all down pat, and is learning leave it and can do a few tricks). I don’t want a rough interaction to set her back in any way. When she is slightly older and larger, has a decent recall and has better dog socialization skills (ie how to properly greet, etc), I think it’s okay if they horse around a little and play a little rough. Just not yet.

I’m okay with my decision, but now my sister & I aren’t speaking as she escalated and said some pretty nasty things. I just want to see if others think I’m wrong.

Thanks!
That's terrible that your sister is choosing to behave this way. This should be a fun time for both of you since you both have puppies, but unfortunately sometimes people are kind of jerky about things. You're totally right not to let your dog rough play/get corrected by another puppy. That's your job to teach your dog what is appropriate and what is not. When I got Sasha (at two years old) my cousin got an 8 week old lab puppy. Starting when the pup was about 4 months old she came over to play with Sasha. Sasha was not allowed to be rough with her, and when the puppy was being obnoxious (hanging off Sasha's face with her sharp puppy teeth) it was her owner that corrected her, not Sasha. Maybe once your dogs are both bigger it will be better. I know that Sasha did not really care for Roxy (lab puppy) at first because of the difference in how they thought interactions should go, but now that Roxy is older they are best friends and it's so fun to watch them rough-house and play. Hopefully with time that's what you'll get with your sister's pup as well. If not, well I guess I would talk to your mom about it since it is her house. I would think your mom would want you to feel just as comfortable at her house as she would your sister.

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~Monte~{Golden Retriever}~ (RIP)~ 1997-2009

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post #7 of 17 (permalink) Old 02-06-2012, 01:50 PM
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FWIW... I witnessed a 13 week old puppy get pretty roughed up, while playing with an adult pit bull. The puppy ended up limping his way back to his owner's arms.

I say keep him away, and don't be offended if I tell you that you should consider NEVER throwing him in the dog park. Very few dogs actually "play" at the dog park. It's more a battle for leadership and dominance.
Set play dates with puppies in his class, weight and temperament.
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post #8 of 17 (permalink) Old 02-06-2012, 01:54 PM
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How old is your sister? She seems pretty immature.

I would wait until puppy class to do the socializing. If your pup proves that she likes and can handle rough play, THEN she can socialize with your sister's dog. I see nothing wrong with that.
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post #9 of 17 (permalink) Old 02-06-2012, 01:57 PM Thread Starter
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My sister is 23 & her fiance is 27 (I'm 26 and hubby is 29).

The dog park is an issue that hubby & I are struggling with. The dog park in our area is a Conservation area (Harmony Valley Conservation Area). So basically there are 2 off leash zones (an upper that is quite and field like, and a lower that is the busy central spot), and then all around those zones are forest trails, a creek, etc. We love the idea of being able to take Jazmyn off leash on the trails, I'm just not so sure of the central zone area. A lot of the owners use it for chatting up each other and letting their dogs just play like crazy. We are definitely leaning more towards strictly using it at quiet times for a hike, but using friends dogs, people we meet in puppy class, etc for play dates.

Lisa
Jazmyn - 11/11/2011

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Last edited by *Lisa*; 02-06-2012 at 01:58 PM. Reason: More Info
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post #10 of 17 (permalink) Old 02-06-2012, 02:15 PM
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Not socializing properly – your puppy has not had all of its shots – you need to be careful how, when, where and with whose dog you socialize – socialization will come at the proper time in puppy class - sorry, your sister is WRONG

“Learn her place” – that’s something she learns from her sibs and mother – not from an unrelated dog twice her age - sorry, your sister is WRONG

lessons on how to interact – whoa - sorry, your sister is WRONG

Would you mind telling us how old your sister is and what her level of expertise is. Sounds like she is very immature and has a great deal to learn about canine development.

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